Yin Yang
by FlowersbyLily
Summary: Takes place after the apocalypse but was written between It's a Terrible Life and Jump The Shark, so I apologize for any inaccuracies, Sam and Dean have found two girls and are very happy until a phone call from the past forces them into a wild goosechase
1. Chapter 1 Hunter's Wives

**This was written for my friend's b-day, which is coming up very soon, the story is practically finished so the more reviews the faster I'll post a new chapter. If you honour me with your review, please be honest and tell me that I'm a bad writer or that you like it, either way I respect your critisism.**

**I work with music too, and the song I chose as Sam and Julie's anthem is La Vie en Rose by Edith Piaf (not Louis Armstrong)  
**

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Chapter 1: Hunter's wives.

'No Lena stop it you're not going to leave him, you know that.'

'Julie, hang up the phone!' Sam yelled to his beloved girl.

'Okay Lena got to go, Sam just walked in. Just remember you love Dean and he loves you, you're just both hot headed!'

Julie hung up on her best friend and ran out of the kitchen to the love of her life, Sam Winchester. They had ran into each other while the brothers were on a hunt in St-Léonard, some evil demon had almost taken her life away but Sam had saved the day.

'I am so glad your home!' Julie jumped in his arms but then rapidly took a step back again and hit him in the gut.

'You could have called!' she said now angrily. She wasn't the kind of girl that wanted to check up on her fiancé every five minutes but after a few days she always started to get anxious.

'I am sorry hunny, it's just we ran into some trouble like usual and my cell had no bars.' Sam said with a smile on his face. He loved his girl getting ferociously protective from time to time.

'That's fine just remember our deal.' She said, without any word she turned around to the kitchen, she was going to prepare a home cooked meal for her man.

'Julz, don't okay. I am sorry, it will not happen again but I can't agree on your terms.'

She stopped dead in her track, though she did expect some upheaval on the subject.

'Sam, we talked about this. Next time you'd forget to call I would come with you. That way no one has to worry. So that's how it's going to be, you forgot, I go with.'

'No Julz, don't okay, it has been a long week and I didn't forget, we were out of reach. I would never forget to call you. Don't you think that every day I think of you and that hearing your voice would be the highlight? Instead I am stuck in some forest with Dean, whining about his relationship troubles. But as it may, I can't have you there, I can't have you in a place where you might get hurt. Look I promise I'll take you with sometime when I know it'll be a walk in the park okay.'

Julie looked into those puppy eyes and knew he was too tired to argue so she could easily get him to agree but she didn't want to win the battle this way, she now looked at him and her heart broke, he had seen some gruesome things over the week, he'd never talk about it but she knew that the horror he saw pained him in the night and she could see it in his eyes that right now he didn't wanted to be the tough hunter, the kick ass baby brother or the perfect fiancé, right now he just wanted to be loved and taken care of by her and only her.

'Fine I'll drop it for now, now let me draw you a bath.' She said with the most loving smile on her face as she grabbed his hand, and led him upstairs.

'Have I told you how much I love you lately?'

'Not for a whole week,' Julie teased.

'I love you more than life itself, you know that right?'

'Else I wouldn't be marrying you hunny.'

Without anymore words they walked up the stairs and as Julie turned on the tabs, she turned around and helped Sam get out of his layers. She took his white dirty shirt and lifted it over his head. She saw the old scars and a bullet wound, but she also saw some new bruises and instead of grilling him about what had happened over the week, she lifted her hand and traced the bruises on his body, she stopped resting her hand on his abdomen. She looked up and saw the apologizing eyes of her warrior. She didn't care about the bruises, as long as he came home in one piece. He leaned in and kissed the forgiving lips of his love, he took her shirt and lifted in over her head, he took her glasses and put them carefully on the bathroom cupboard, before kissing her violently on the lips and pulling her closer.

'God I missed you,' he groaned.

**********

_Quand il me prend dans ses bras_

_Il me parle tout bas_

_Je vois la vie en rose_

_Il me dit des mots d'amour_

_Des mots de tous les jours_

_Et ça me fait quelque chose_

_Il est entré dans mon coeur_

_Une part de bonheur_

_Dont je connais la cause_

_C'est lui pour moi_

_Moi pour lui dans la vie_

_Il me l'a dit, l'a juré_

_Pour la vie_

_Et dès que je l'aperçois_

_Alors je sens en moi_

_Mon coeur qui bat_

Sam was leaning against her in the bathtub, while she massaged the shampoo in his hair. They had sat there for a moment in silence. Sam needed to think things over, he had to process what had happened and though he wouldn't share the details with his girl, he still felt comforted by her presence. Plus it was nice to let the warm water relax his muscles and loosen the knots in his back.

'So you talked to Dean about Lena?' Julie asked apprehensively, trying to bring Sam back from the supernatural world to their own world.

'Oh God, he just can't shut up about the hole thing.'

'So what do you think? You think she's right? Did he cheat on her?'

'What? No! Absolutely not! Is that what she said? Is that what she's thinking?'

'Yeah, what did you hear? I just got off the phone with her and she suspects him of cheating, supposedly some girl, Allie, called and asked for him. She said, and I quote: _"she sounded perky!"_.'

'Oh my God, are you serious, that's the reason? According to Dean, she was irritable when we last called home. She hardly said a word. He wouldn't quit whining about it.'

'So did he? Did he cheat?' Julie asked in a scared voice, she knew she would get caught in the crossfire between her best friend and her soon to be brother-in-law.

'No, no of course not! He loves her more than anything. Seriously, I have never heard him bitch like that about any woman, he would just pack up and leave but not with her.'

'So bitching is a sign of love?' Julie asked.

'Well, it is with Dean. For him bitching about someone means caring about someone, if he didn't he wouldn't bother.'

'Interesting theory, how come I never bitch about you?'

Sam turned his head, facing her. Looking into her eyes he said that he loved her so much and Julie happily leaned in and kissed him.

'So who was the girl? You know her?' she asked, curiously.

'Just a girl we helped a couple of months ago, I am guessing she just wanted to check up on how Dean was doing, or just say thank you or something. I bet it's nothing.'

Julie sighed in relief. Not that she didn't trust her soon to be brother-in-law but still, the man came with a reputation and she wouldn't have liked to pick up the pieces when he left. She knew Lena well and knew that if Dean left her it would devastate her. Both were hot-headed and unbelievably stubborn, they clashed on a regular basis but managed to patch things up as passionately as they fought.

'So how was the rest of your week?' Sam asked, he wanted to be distracted by normal trivial things so he could get back into the routine of his life with Julie.

'Nothing much, I worked a lot so I wouldn't have you constantly on my mind, to no avail of course, Christina, Katie and Lena came over to dinner, we had a real ladies' night, we got totally plastered and laughed the whole night.'

'Yeah I bet you did.' Sam liked hearing that Julz had such good friends, he was often worried when he went away, he didn't want her to feel lonely. But every time he came home again she would have a new Katie-Chris-Lena story and he loved them. And to his own surprise he really loved her friends and more importantly their hubbies Katie's Chris, Andy and of course his own brother. When they were all home at the same time, which happened maybe once every 4-5 months they would take out the tents and camping gear and they would depart as soon as possible, some would ditch work just for the week to spent time with their close but strange little group of friends. Only problem was that Andy had repeatedly asked the brothers to go hunting with them, both Dean and Sam had been furious at Julie and Lena for telling but they didn't really care. They knew their friends and knew who could be trusted, and the four of them are more reliable than the punctuality of trains in Japan. Dean and Sam came to terms with it and eventually did see that their girls had been right from the start, plus it has been easier since, now they didn't have secrets for each other, and it made their friendships a lot more natural. Dean had wanted Andy to come, Dean was very small and tiny compared to Andy. Andy was a big guy with a gigantic heart. But Sam was reluctant, though Andy had his size on his side, he didn't have the knowledge, so hitherto he hadn't been on a hunt yet. As a way of compromise Dean had been so kind to fill him in every time they came back and Andy had enjoyed their stories so he had been doing some research on the side, scouring the internet and even the library. Chris had found it funny but when she let her guard down with the girls she admitted that she didn't like the idea of Andy going hunting with the brothers.

Just last week when they were drinking Chris came clean and told Julie and Lena that she didn't envy them and that she didn't understand how they did it, seeing the men leave every time and constantly wondering where they are and how they are. But Julie and Lena had come to terms with being hunter's wives.


	2. Chapter 2 Homecoming

**I know the first chapters are a bit short but I just wanted to introduce the two women that hove captured our boys' hearts. They will get longer.**

**Review as much as you like, thanks**

**Song for Lena and Dean; Wish You Were Here by Incubus (one of my personal favs)  
**

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Chapter 2: Homecoming

'Hunny I am home,' Dean said sarcastically when he entered his house, he didn't expect a warm welcome but he wanted to get the confrontation over with as soon as possible.

'Don't you _hunny_ me!' Lena said. She was convinced that Dean had been screwing some damsel in distress behind her back.

'What did I do?' Dean asked with a high-pitched voice, honestly unaware of what had set his girl off.

'Oh, you thought you'd never get caught, well guess again. Allie called.'

'Who?' Dean squinted like he had just heard _rugaru _for the first time.

'You know, Allie Lipton, she called looking for you. My God Dean, you should have some decency, she barely sounded twenty years old!' she spewed.

'Oh Allie,' he said while grinning, which only put fuel on the flame. Lena was now at the point of boiling.

'Oh hunny, she's just a woman Sam and I met a few months ago. She had a poltergeist stuck in her house, I think, and we helped her get rid of it, that's all. Come on like I would ever cheat on you. Is that what you think? Frankly I am offended!' he said, truly pissed off for the lack of trust.

Lena didn't exactly know what to say, yes she trusted her man but she didn't trust the women in this world. She had come to terms with the fact that Dean was absolutely attractive to any heterosexual woman, but seeing she didn't really think she was good enough for him made her insecure. She had always figured that Dean liked her now because it was convenient; her best friend and his brother were together, he got along with Andy and Chris and even Lena's girlfriends had brought him much laughter. She knew that when he left, he would loose all that too and sometimes she couldn't help but wonder what the real reason was why he stayed. She knew she expressed those feelings wrongly by accusing him of cheating but she had no idea how else to handle her feelings. She couldn't just come out and say them now could she?

Dean looked into her eyes while she looked down and one tear escaped from her eye.

'Oh hunny! Why would you think such a thing?' Dean dropped his stuff by the door and just walked up to his little insecure girl. He took her face into his giant hands and kissed her with everything she needed to know.

'Because,' she sighed, 'I wouldn't blame you. I would get it and that infuriates me the most, I guess.'

'Why would you understand me cheating?'

'Because,' she paused, 'I know I can't be enough for you. There are thousands of hot blonde women out there waiting for a man like you.'

'I can barely handle one brown haired Goddess why would I want thousands? I don't even like blonde you know that. No no, I got everything I want right here in my two hands. Please don't doubt yourself like that, it just breaks my heart. You are the better person in this relationship and we both know it.'

Lena could no longer contain herself as she jumped up and curled her legs around his waist kissing him violently.

'Bedroom?' Dean groaned.

'Too far we'll never make it.' She replied barely lifting her mouth from his to speak. They fell to the floor in laughter and Lena gave Dean a proper homecoming.

**********

_Dig my toes into the sand_

_The ocean looks like a thousand diamonds_

_Strewn across a blue blanket_

_I lean against the wind_

_Pretend that I am weightless_

_And in this moment I am happy...happy_

_I wish you were here_

_I wish you were here_

_I wish you were here_

_I wish you were here_

_I lay my head onto the sand_

_The sky resembles a backlit canopy_

_With holes punched in it_

_I'm counting UFOs_

_I signal them with my lighter_

_And in this moment I am happy...happy_

Exhausted they fell back on the couch, pulling up the fleece blankets.

'So how was it?' she asked tentatively.

'Oh baby, you made my head spin. Best welcome home ever.'

'No,' Lena laughed in embarrassment, 'I mean how was your week?'

'Oh that, it was fine. Though those wendigoes are getting faster, or I am getting slower, I don't know.'

'Ah yes, you're getting a gut I can see now.' Lena traced her hand over the steel hard abs of her lover.

'You are going to take that back woman,' he said while lifting her like she weighed nothing. She squealed out of sheer pleasure. But their playful teasing was interrupted by a phone ringing.

'Hold that thought' she said while he put her back on the couch so she could reach the phone behind it.

'Hello,' Lena said, trying to concentrate on the other line, which was really hard since Dean was kissing her neck and urging her to hang up.

'Yes Julz, yes you were right, thanks. How's Sam?' she giggled.

'Hm, yep, okay will do. See you later.'

'What was that about?'

'Just Julz, she says hi by the way, Sam has some bruises but he'll be fine, no cracked ribs this time.'

'Yeah I know I was there, the thing didn't drag him around like a ragged doll.'

'Oh poor baby, did someone make you his little bitch?' Lena mothered him while pouting her lips , pissing Dean off.

'No one makes me their bitch,'

Lena raised her eyebrows at him.

'Okay, no one but you makes me their bitch.' He complied.

'That's better.' She smiled.

Dean kissed her again on her full pink lips.

It was obvious that neither of them would get out of the house today, both had some issues which were best resolved behind closed doors.

**********

Dean and Lena were lying on the floor, not talking just enjoying each other's company, Dean put his nose into her hair, he hadn't smelled a woman's shampoo in 10 days and he loved the smell of freshly washed hair, especially Lena's which was coconutty.

'So, why did she call?' Dean eventually ventured.

'Who? Julie? No particular reason.'

'No I mean Allie, what did she say.'

Lena didn't answer and blushed.

'Lena, what did you do?!' Dean asked firmly.

'Euhm nothing, I just, that you were with me now and that she could...,' Lena paused wondering whether to tell the truth or not, 'okay fine I said she'd better spend her time investing in a battery operated toy than call you again. There I said it, I was a total bitch okay.'

Dean couldn't help but laugh at the erratic things that tended to get out of her mouth.

'Fine I'll call her back myself.' He sighed.

'Now?' Lena said while kissing his neck.

'Hm yes now.'

'Now?' she asked again, kissing his abdomen and stroking her figures along his massive arms.

'Maybe later.'

'Later?' she asked while climbing on top of him and kissing him violently on the lips.

'Tomorrow definitely,' he groaned.

**********

'Wakey, wakey, come have breakfast babe, you must be famished,' Lena said while bringing a hot steamy cup of coffee to Dean's nose.

'Oh my God that smells good, and am I hungry!'

He got up so fast and ran down the stairs to the kitchen, he just heard Lena yell to wait but he didn't care, he needed some fuel and he needed it now!

'Julie, Sam what are you doing here?' Dean was stunned that he saw his brother and soon to be sister-in-law standing there all dressed while he was butt naked.

'We're having brunch you idiot.' Sam said, not being able to stop himself from laughing

Sam made a joke of it and covered Julie's eyes with his hands, while she was peeking through them... a sort of comparative study.

'Hunny can you bring some pants down?' Dean yelled.

'Already got them, here.' Lena couldn't help but laugh.

Dean hurriedly put on his pants and went to greet their guests by lovingly kissing Julie on the cheek and punching his brother on the shoulder.

'So Julz, you sure you still want to marry Sasquatch now that you have met little Dean.' He smirked.

'Hmm... tough one, but I think I'll stick to Sasquatch. Do you have any idea how big little Sasquatch actually is?' She said without blinking.

Dean's jaw just dropped, he had always figured that what he lacked in length, comparing to his brother, he made up for in his pants. Sam couldn't help but laugh and he looked at his girl with the most loving eyes, she looked back at him and the love flowing through that room would even have made any romantic uncomfortable.

'Urgh,' Dean huffed.

'Alright guys enough joking around, let's eat.' Lena said while she put the eggs on the table.

'You need any help?' Julie asked.

'No thank you, just relax, I am just going to get the coffee or did anyone want anything else.'

'Hun, I think we can all use coffee, don't think they slept much either.'

'Oh God, Dean why can't you just shut up for once?' Lena was embarrassed and pretty much ran off into the kitchen.

'She loves it when I do that,' he said while stuffing a sandwich down his mouth.

'Yeah I bet she does,' Sam replied to the stupidities of his brother.

'Anyone want more eggs?' Lena asked when she saw that all the eggs were gone.

'No not for me thanks,'

'Me neither I am stuffed,' Sam said.

'I could eat some more,'

'Fine, you know it's like feeding a bear, are you ever satisfied?'

Dean just lifted his eyebrows at her.

'Oh god, you can really make everything sound dirty,' Lena sighed. She went to the kitchen to make two more eggs, sunnyside up, just the way her man liked them.

'So Sammy, Allie called apparently.'

'Yeah I know, any idea what it could be about?'

'No clue, Lena hung up before Allie actually said anything. But what was it again that we did for her?'

'Allie Lipton? Wasn't that the poltergeist in Ohio?' Sam asked.

Julie kept quiet when the boys were talking shop, the only thing that was on her mind was that Sam's hand was resting on her knee, as if to say she's mine and everyone else needs to back off, though Sam wasn't the possessive type it were the little things that warned every male in a 10k radius to stay away from his girl. She did listen intensely at the conversation though, she could have sworn that she had heard that name before but decided not to think much of it.

'No no, that was Heather Loughney, you know the one with the creepy cross in the living room. Was it the haunted Sheraton hotel?' Dean said

'No,' Sam laughed, 'that was Dallal BenRomdhane, come on you can't say you don't remember her!'

'Oh god yeah,' Dean winced, 'I love cougars, but boy she was handful. And I still don't understand what she meant by let me get my belt.'

'Got it, I know who she is,' Sam said suddenly.


	3. Chapter 3 15 Hours

**I hope you are liking the girls, but somehow, you all being SPN fans, I doubt it. **

**Songs used in this chapter; Aqualung - It's Easier to Lie (Thank you brothers & sisters for this one) and Boston - More Than A Feeling  
**

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Chapter 3: Fifteen hours

Lena came to join the ensemble at the dinner table, while everyone was relaxing and Dean was just finishing his last egg.

'Come on spill it Sammy, who was she?'

'Ehm,' Sam paused, the memory wasn't all too painful for him but it was for his brother. He didn't know whether he should tell or not, but he decided better to be honest, Dean would find out anyway, 'remember the Djinn in Illinois?'

'Yeah,' Dean said loosing his appetite and getting uncomfortable. Lena knew the deal and just put her hand next to his, her pinkie barely touching his, without a word he knew what she meant.

'The girl in the warehouse, I think that was Allie Lipton.'

'Yeah I remember now, she had daddy issues.'

'Oh god,' Lena said.

'What?' Dean asked.

'I was so rude to her, I should apologize. I am such an asshole, poor girl and now she's probably facing something else and then she had to deal with me and now the poor thing is out of her wits...'

'Hunny, hunny, you're rambling again, you're not an asshole, just a little overprotective maybe.'

'Call her, call her now.' She demanded.

'Alright, calm down, I'll go get my phone.'

Sam and Julie waited patiently but they both felt the same anxiety that was radiating from Lena.

Julie was a bit out of the loop she had heard the story once by some campfire when their little group was out together but she didn't know what to expect now, she wondered if Lena knew much more than she, if Dean had told her in detail what had happened that night. Julie had always been curious, just as she had been curious about Sam being possessed but again she hadn't dared to go into detail. She once tried to ask her friend about it but decided not too, maybe the memories were too painful, but the truth was that Lena didn't know more about the djinn, about everything else Dean had talked and made colourful and moving stories about their adventures except that one, that one was put in a box and opening it, like they were doing now, could release a lot of worms.

The phone rang, once, twice, three times and switched to voicemail.

'You have reached the phone of Allie Lipton, please leave a message and I'll ring you as soon as possible.'

'My God, her voice, it sounds so flat, a standard robot message shows more life than that,' Julie said taken aback by the lifeless voice she had just heard.

'Yeah I know, it creeps me out.'

The boys were ignoring their partners as they looked at each other, there were just some things the girls couldn't understand, they weren't there, they weren't even in their lives yet and Dean knew he had to go back and face the girl that had haunted him in his perfect little world, looking at Sam he now did appreciate his brother. She had haunted Dean in his dreams and he was too proud to admit it but the memories alone were painful enough, luckily he had Sam, the kick-ass brother, by his side this time.

'How soon?' Sam asked.

'15 hours, if we leave now.'

Both girls had just started being happy again but now their little world was falling and crashing again, it didn't matter how many times they had said goodbye, they didn't get used to it and were absolutely devastated that they had only spent about 15 hours with their beloved.

'I am sorry babe,' Sam was already on his feet looking down at his girl, who couldn't hide her feelings from him.

'Yeah me too hun,' Dean said, but he was smiling. Lena and Dean had never had an emotional goodbye, most of the times they would even pick a fight when he was about to leave, just to make it easier. The fact that she would then sit there alone and cry for two hours straight, Dean didn't know. The fact that Dean would let Sam drive as he sat silently for the whole drive with his shades on, she didn't know.

'No actually I am sorry hun,' Lena got on her feet.

'For what?'

'I don't know about Julie, well actually I do, but I am coming with.'

'What!' Dean screamed.

'Yep, I am so in.' Julie smiled, happy that her friend was so intone with her, and knew exactly what she wanted. Julie had set her mind before Lena even spoke but this was going to make the verbal battle ten times more effective. It might even just be easy.

'You heard us, there's no argument that will get you what you want so you'll just have to deal.' Lena said.

'Julz, please hunny, don't do this to me,' Sam tried with his puppy-eyes, which was a dirty trick, the only thing Julie could not say no to.

'Be strong Julz, don't let him get away with this.' Lena whispered under her breath.

'Look there's just no way, Sam can do whatever he wants but you are not coming with. I will strap you to that chair until I come back.'

'Yeah right, like you'd have a home to come back to,' she threatened.

'Look Sam, we talked about this, it's not that I want to fight or hunt, I just want to be around you more. I don't understand why we can't help with the research and when you find the thing and know how to kill it, we'll just have a cold beer waiting for you when you come back.' Julie said so adamant, she had avoided his look to sound so strong because no way she could have mastered the strength against Sam's I-lost-my-shoe look. Just not possible.

Lena and Julie were standing side by side with their arms crossed, so certain of their victory. Though they still had this stare contest to win, minutes passed by without anyone moving an inch. Thousand thoughts went through the brothers' minds, they had seen so much and the least they wanted to do is show the girls what they did for a living and more importantly both their nightmares were about Lena or Julie getting hurt by what they do, by what they were trained to do, by their destiny.

'Fine,' Dean finally broke the silence, he knew no other option. Reasoning when she was being so stern had absolutely no effect.

Both girls smiled and almost high-fived each other but they didn't want to break their stern faces and accepted their victory with grace.

'What?!' Sam was now furious and turned to his brother. He wouldn't have it, he couldn't. The only two women he had ever loved had been killed by himself and by the supernatural. He wouldn't have the third one, the best one, the one he had loved more than all the others combined, the one that truly opened his eyes to what love really was and felt like, by his side in danger.

Though Sam was mad as hell and most of all scared, he knew there was no other way. She had made her decision and if Sam was anything he was proud that his woman had a strong mind and stood up for what she believed in, he only wished her mind was otherwise set.

'Sammy, now we've got two women in the car, please man up,' Dean said with a smile hitting his brother on the shoulder.

'Hunny, don't you think we should take two cars,'

'What? Why? The Impala is pretty spacious in the back, you should know that,' he said winking.

'Dean get your head out of the gutter. Look all I am saying is that we can cover more ground with two teams. We don't know what we're going to find. Just thinking ahead babe, that's all.'

'Fine,' he huffed; 'we'll take the Impala and Sam you drive Lena's mustang.'

'Yeah right,' Lena snorted.

'Fine! Are you ever going to keep your thoughts to yourself?' He said annoyed.

Lena answered her man in silence but smiled deviously.

'Good now, we're going to follow you two to your house so you can get some stuff and we leave in ten.'

Lena was already on the stairs when she realized Dean wasn't following. He was waiting by the door.

'What do you think you're doing?'

Julie smiled as she sensed what was going to happen. Sam didn't understand the objection.

'I'll wait here, I am packed.'

'Oh my god!' Both girls cringed.

'What?' Dean said, he looked at Sam, he just shook his head, he didn't see the problem either.

'That's not packing some luggage that's...' Lena was trying to find a fitting word,

'Toxic waste!' Both girls said in unison.

'Just leave the bag there, I'll deal with it when we get back, just give me a minute and I'll pack for you too.'

The odd foursome was now at Sam's and Julie's but Dean and Lena stayed outside waiting in their cars.

As soon as they walked to the door, Sam could no longer keep his mouth shut.

'Julie! Please stop we have to talk.'

'No Sam, we don't, we have to leave, there's a young woman out there who needs your help and I haven't seen my fiancé in almost two weeks. So no Sam we don't have to talk.' Julie remained calm as she said the words but the undertone very clear to Sam. Though her initial reaction was to see the girl and learn more about the brothers' past but now she, herself realized that she just wanted to spend more time with Sam, whether here in her comfy home or on the road in a smelly motel, she didn't care.

'Okay hunny, alright. Just promise me that you'll listen and stay away from where you don't belong.' This might have sounded hard to any other but Julie understood very well and she knew about Jessica and Madison, she thought he was right and complied easily.

Sam hugged her and gave her a kiss on top of her head. While Sam took his bag Julie was on the stairs.

Without turning around she said; 'No hun, don't even think about.'

Sam smirked, she still surprised him about how well she knew him. He put the bag back down and just waited for her.

'So are we all finally ready?' Dean said annoyed, he already felt the burden of two wives trailing along.

Dean leaned through the window, while Sam and Julie were kissing each other good bye.

'Okay hun, we're going to drive for 7 hours, you can handle that right?' he said patronizing her, 'stop, stretch our legs and go another 7 until we both run out of gas,' he said winking.

'Sure, I am up for it, are you old man?' she said smiling confidently. Though secretly she was scared that she wouldn't be up for it and neither was her 1965 car.

Dean smiled and kissed her before going back to the Impala.

Julie got into the mustang as Sam and Dean manoeuvred the Impala of the lot.

'Are you nervous,' Lena said practically out of breath, starting the car.

'Deadly.' Julie said staring through the window.

'Good,' she replied starting her engine.

They left the lot in silence while Julie put the iPod in the jacket. Aqualung filled the air and took away some of their anxiousness, they didn't speak they were just listening to the music and mulling over their own thoughts and expectations.

_To be the one_

_to be the only one_

_something has to give a lot_

_something has to give a lot_

_And who am I_

_to give you what you need_

_when I'm learning_

_just learning_

_Learning how to live and_

_to bear the weight..._

_and push into the sky_

_it's easier to lie_

_it's easier to lie_

_**********  
_

After only five hours the Impala was signalling for the next turn off.

'That's odd,' Lena said, but she was damn glad that she could get out for a couple of minutes and stretch her legs, and she needed to pee.

'Maybe they're running low on fuel.'

'The car or the boys?' Lena grinned.

'All three of them.'

The Mustang found a spot next to the Impala. Lena couldn't leave well enough alone and just couldn't resist and got out of the car.

Dean was still in the car when he saw that smug smile.

'Man this is going to hurt, remind me why did I agree to this?' Dean said getting out himself.

'Well well well, _we're going to drive 7 hours straight, you can handle that right?' _Lena said in her Dean voice, while the brothers were just coming towards them.

'You can be such a child,'

'That's why you love me, I keep you young,' she said while kissing him in a playful matter.

'No woman, you are making me old and grey. We're going to take a break, we were running low on fuel anyway,'

'All three of us,' Sam added.

'Boy you guys are a match made in heaven,' Lena said looking at Sam and Julie. Sam just looked confused but Julie laughed.

'Yes we are.'

The foursome entered the diner, Jay Bird's diner. Dean had a funny feeling like he had been here before but he ignored it. The boys sat next to each other in a booth and the girls took their seats on opposite sides.

'This is weird isn't it or is it just me?' Dean said.

'Yeah it definitely is.' Sam replied.

'Let's order, I am starving.' Dean looked up at the specials.

'Aren't you a cute foursome, hi I am Darlene and I'll be your waitress,' a middle-aged woman with a perm declared.

'I'll have the special, Pig in a Poke. And a beer.'

'He'll have a coke, he's driving,' Lena interrupted without even looking up from the menu.

'Yeah I'll have the same,' Sam said.

'I'll have the Caesar salad and a diet coke, please.' Lena said.

'She's having the veggie burger, she's hunting,' Dean said looking at her with provoking eyes.

'I'd like the cheeseburger and a diet coke please.'

'Okay, coming right up.' Darlene said leaving the foursome.

'So now we have to do something about your car.' Dean remarked.

'What why?' Lena asked not even caring about the answer.

'Don't get me wrong, I love your car.'

'I love your car too.' She said with a smile.

'That's laymen's terms for I love you,' Sam explained to Julie.

'But it's just too conspicuous. A red '65 Mustang convertible?'

'Here are the drinks,' Darlene said.

'Thank you Darlene,' Julie said with an honest smile. Though the bantering was keeping her distracted from the task at hand, she didn't feel at ease yet. She loved to see her friends bickering but she was happy that Sam and her didn't need that sort of constant affirmation of their love. They just had to look into each other's eyes and they knew.

'Look Dean it's okay, it's not like they're going to go on a stake out or go hunting or something. They'll mostly be checking out the scenery and doing some shopping.'

'Yeah right, 'cause we're the average two shopping airheads.' Julie said sarcastically.

'No but you get my point.'

'See we'll be fine, and Jared will be fine too.' Lena said.

'Jared?' Sam asked confused.

'Her car,' Julie and Dean said in unison.

'That's a strange name,' Sam responded.

'Don't talk bad about my gorgeous wheels Sam, I'm warning you.'

'It's just, a car like that should have a girl's name. Sally or something.'

'Please, Mustang Sally? Like I haven't heard that before, besides I have my reasons.'

Sam looked at Dean in order to get more information on Lena's odd choice of names.

'Don't look at me, she never told me either. I am just really scared what names she'll come up with when we have children.'

The entire table went from laughing to silence in one heartbeat.

'Here's your food,' Darlene said picking up the strange vibe, 'can I get you anything else?'

'No thanks dear,' Dean said unaware of his companions being baffled.

'What? Like your thoughts never trail,' he said with his mouth full of food, looking at no one in particular.

**********

Julie decided to take it upon her to find the light-hearted conversation back from earlier and she succeeded, Lena stayed silent and shocked for the rest of the meal, but Dean didn't seem to mind it. Julie's guess was that Dean figured that Lena would get over her angst eventually.

'Okay so everyone ready? We still have a long drive ahead.' Sam said cheerful. He was getting around the idea that he was bringing the love of his life in a potentially dangerous situation.

'Yeah I am ready,' Dean glanced at Lena's plate once, 'hunny you hardly touched your food.' He said almost concerned about her appetite.

'I'm fine thanks, just not hungry,' she said distracted.

'Okay' he said not agreeing with her statement.

The foursome paid their bill and retreated to the parking lot. Lena excused herself and made a quick stop at the ladies' room, where she threw up everything she had eaten that morning. In the meanwhile Julie got a phone call, the caller ID said she didn't want to miss this.

'Hey hunny how are you,' she chirped into the phone, her hole face lit up like a Christmas tree. Sam saw it and knew immediately who she was talking to, his only competition for her heart. Dean looked at him mystified.

'Felix,' he mouthed to him.

Dean understood now and smiled, Felix was Julie's only and most perfect nephew. Julie had lost her family to evil demon spawn, the only reason why she was alive was Sam. Luckily her older brother and his little family had moved away a year before, else she would have lost everything ever dear to her, and even Sam wouldn't have been able to take her out that dark place she had been in back then.

'You want to talk to uncle Sam? Okay chérie, I'll put him on.' With some reluctance Julie passed the phone on to Felix' cool uncle Sam.

'Hey buddy, what are you doing?'

'You are? Seriously? That's great! You know what, I'll come and train with you when I get back.'

'Okay, say hi to your mum and dad for me, okay, yeah I will. Bye'

'What was it? He didn't say much he was all hyper and I didn't understand a thing.' Julie asked almost jumping Sam for more info.

'He made the hockey team! Apparently the try-outs went really good. And the coach said he saw some real talent.' He told her

Julie, being a big hockey fan, squealed in sheer pleasure.

'Wait? How can you see talent in a 7 year old?'

'When did you hold your first sawed off in your hands?' Sam reflected.

'Point taken.'

When Lena came back she looked relieved and they were all set to go.

'You look better,' Dean said.

'I am,' she said cheerful.

They got back into their cars as Dean looked his beloved's behind conspicuously. He shrugged and got into the Impala.

**********

'Are we being trailed?' Dean asked Sam

'Dean, you're going to make that joke again? You need new material, man.' Sam replied shaking his head.

'So,' Sam started

'So what?'

'You're thinking about having kids now? Last week you wanted Lena to shut up and get off your back.' Dean smiled at the memory of his own rant in the woods, which eventually lead him to being dragged like a ragged-doll through the trees.

'Sammy, we sit in the car for hours on end, there are many silences. Don't tell me it has never crossed your mind. You're getting married for Christ's sake.'

'Yeah, but that's just it, you've never talked about marriage, kids, settling down.'

'The truth Sam?'

'Yes please, we have come this far.'

'To be honest, I would like to be a dad someday and Lena would be a perfect mother. And then on the other hand it scares the crap out of me. I'd rather see three Liliths than becoming a father.'

'Why?'

'Procreating is kind of our biological goal on this planet.' Dean said.

'No, I mean why are you so scared? Three Liliths, that's a lot!'

'I don't know anything about being a father, the lives we live Sammy, how could I ever have children? For you it comes naturally, you have that sensitive emo-crap down to the letter.'

'Honesty?' Sam asked.

'Yes please,'

'You have always been a father, since the age of four you have had the constant responsibility to look after someone. You changed more nappies than dad, you cooked more meals and you made sure on numerous occasions that I didn't die or went darkside. You've always been more than just a brother,' Sammy said with more honesty in his voice than Dean had heard in a long time.

'I am not saying it wouldn't be difficult but if that's what you want...'

'Nice closing lawyer boy.' Dean said making a joke of it but Sam's words were gilded in his mind, looking in his rear-view mirror he saw Lena and Julie, both had put their shades on against the low sun, which was setting and the night made its entrance. Both were laughing and chatting lively.

'Aren't they amazing?' Sam remarked mostly noting his own fiancée, who had caught a glimpse of him staring and smiled, the low sun had made Julie's complexion into a golden brown and if Sam didn't knew better he thought he was seeing an old Grace Kelly movie.

'They definitely are a sight for sour eyes,' Dean said as he caught Lena laughing at something Julie said, it just pained him that he couldn't hear that laugh.

He turned up the tunes, letting Boston take away the Impala into the night, which no longer looked so ominous with the Mustang just a few feet behind.

_I looked out this morning and the sun was gone_

_Turned on some music to start my day_

_I lost myself in a familiar song_

_I closed my eyes and I slipped away_

_Its more than a feeling, when I hear that old song they used to play (more than a feeling)_

_I begin dreaming (more than a feeling)_

_till I see marianne walk away_

_I see my marianne walkin away_

_So many people have come and gone_

_Their faces fade as the years go by_

_Yet I still recall as I wander on_

_As clear as the sun in the summer sky_

_

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_**Review and be surprised at how fast I can upload chapter 4, the story is already completed for your benefit ;-)**


	4. Chapter 4 Goodbye

**Hey everyone, chapter 4 is here for you to enjoy, please review, if you can find the time. Lots of fun...**

**Songs used; Falling by Staind and an old time favourite of many; Solsbury Hill by Peter Gabriel**

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Chapter 4: Goodbye

The morning sun was just about to rise when the Impala and Mustang were finally parked next to each other in the lot of the Super 8 motel in Champaign, Illinois. After a 15hour drive, 3 stops and a no sleep both Dean and Lena were glad to be there at last.

'This looks charming,' Julie said when she saw the distressed look on Sam's face. He seemed embarrassed about bringing her to a roach motel but the girls had insisted on it. Where else would they get privacy like that?

'I'll go check us in,' Dean said grabbing Lena by the hand. He sensed that Julie and Sam could use a moment. Dean didn't care what Lena thought, he figured she knew him well enough by now that she wouldn't expect the Ramada Inn and he was sure Julie wouldn't either but poor Sam, always wants the best for his girl.

'Are you sure, we could drive somewhere else and find something more up to,' Sam paused.

'My standards?' Julie asked finishing Sam's sentence, 'Sam I have seen much worse and I am a lot more adventurous than this. Come on! I have spent many nights at Chris and Andy's and their couch is being held together by ducked tape!'

Sam laughed at Julie's comparison.

'Okay fine, we can look at this as our pre-honeymoon suite, so you wont mind if we stay somewhere similar after the wedding' he said hugging her.

'Well...'

'I'm kidding Julz, the panic across your face is pretty hilarious though.'

Julie hit him playfully in the gut. Truth was she didn't care where she was, ever, as long as she was with Sam.

Dean and Lena were on their way back when Dean saw that everything between Julz and Sam was just peachy, he couldn't hide his contentment and squeezed Lena's hand softly, twice. Though he knew it was the wrong attitude he couldn't help but enjoy the fact that the girls were there. Now they could see how good they were at what they do, show themselves when they are completely in their element.

While Sam was outside with Dean figuring out what to do first, Julie was inspecting the room. She saw the flyer for porn and just rolled her eyes at it, she couldn't believe how cliché this place really was. She dropped the bag on the floor not bothering to empty it. She went to lay down on the bed but because she didn't feel tired she picked up the newspaper she had bought in the last gas station. She went through it pretty quickly and accidently stumbled on an article that peaked her interest.

**********

Julie didn't know how to react, she was shocked, sad and she didn't understand. They were too late? She went over to the other room where Lena was on the verge of falling asleep, she hesitated but decided to wake her friend, she stood on the balcony seeing the boys discussing something.

'Guys,' she yelled down. Both looked up.

'Family meeting, now!'

The brothers looked at each other incomprehensibly but did what they were told. Everyone was now in Julz and Sam's room. Lena almost asleep as she had laid her head on Dean's lap. He was stroking her hair gently, though they were always playful around others, it were the little things that had Julie convinced they were truly in love.

'I've got some bad news, our little trip might be cut really short.' She threw the paper into Sam's direction.

'I can't believe it,' Sam said.

Lena felt the atmosphere changing and propped up to see what exactly was going on, when she saw the article her state of awareness changed and sleep was suddenly the least of her priorities. She just sat there, unable to speak.

'Hun, are you okay?' Dean finally asked.

'I killed her.' The words she uttered went through bone and marrow with everyone in the room, it were not the words per se, it was more the fact that all life had drained from her voice, she was no longer the bubbly girl, she saw herself as the murderess of an innocent.

'No, no, no, you didn't kill anyone.' Dean said.

Both Sam and Julie shook their head in disagreement and added a couple of sympathetic no, no's as they tried to convince her she's not at fault.

'Yeah I did, I am the worst kind of person. I turned my back on someone who needed help. How can you all sit there and pretend it's not true!' She said while her voice was thick with tears.

'Lena, stop it! We're going to find out what happened here, and I'll prove to you once and for all that you are not the killer here.'

'Yeah you do that,' Lena said in the same flat voice as she turned around and headed for the door. She made way for her car and drove off. Dean didn't try to stop her. He knew the feeling guilt all too well and knew she needed some time to deal with everything.

'Okay, we have to find out what the hell happened between then and now. She called about 7 days ago, and she died 4 days later. We'll have to search the house and go to the morgue.'

'We have to go to the morgue today,' Sam added.

'Okay I'll bite, why?'

'The funeral is tomorrow.' Sam said typing on his laptop.

'Right it'll be harder then, wouldn't it? Fine let's go.' Dean said grabbing his jacket.

Julie got up taking her own jacket.

'Hun, you're not coming with. We don't know what we may find, but it will not be a pretty sight.'

Julie suddenly felt obsolete but knew not to argue.

'Just give me something else to do then, else I'll go mad here on my own.'

'Research! You know your way around a computer?' Dean asked but he knew it was a stupid question, she was Sam's girl after all. He had always suspected Sam using geek language as some sort of foreplay. Julie just cocked her head at the question.

'So what am I looking for exactly?'

'Strange happenings in the neighbourhood, electric storms, flickering lights,...' Sam said.

'Anything out of the ordinary really,' Dean added.

'Okay, I think I can manage.'

'Whatever you do, keep your phone with you at all times and please don't go anywhere without me.'

'Sam, it's clear daylight out, I don't need a bodyguard, please. If I want to go out I'll go out!'

'Fine, just be careful okay, and don't do anything stupid.'

'I wont,' she said.

Sam stopped by the door, pecked her on the lips and took off after his brother.

'Man you can be over protective,' Dean remarked.

'Bite me!'

**********

Dean and Sam pulled up at the morgue, it looked like it was open, the boys hadn't counted on it.

'Damn it,' Dean said.

'What are we going to do?'

'Well I guess we can still try and lie our way in.'

'Yeah 'cause we look so damn convincing.'

Dean popped the hood to take out some fake ID's. Looking in the trunk he had a pleasant surprise. He hadn't looked in the trunk since they had left home.

Sam saw that Dean was smiling and shaking his head in disbelief.

'What is it?'

'Our women, Sammy, our women.' He said proudly, while he took out the two suits Lena and Julie had remembered to bring.

Confident now as Fed's they walked into the morgue's office.

'This is agent Frusciante and I am agent Smith.' Dean said so confidently, he had this routine down to the last letter, and showed the badges.

'We'd like to see the body of Allie Lipton.'

'Why would the feds be interested in that?' the clerk asked suspiciously, 'it was a suicide.'

Dean and Sam were taken aback, they hadn't bothered to check what the cause of the death was, they were certain there was some supernatural involved.

'Just some routine check-up.' Sam said.

'Okay, I guess.' The clerk led them to the body.

'Would you mind giving us the autopsy report?' Sam asked.

'There is no autopsy report, the cause of death was pretty solid. Two slit wrists,' he said pulling out the corpse.

When he opened the white bag Dean had to catch his breath. He hadn't expected to feel this way, but the girl lying there was definitely Allie Lipton. She looked as pale as she did back in that warehouse. Dean's world was crashing down on him like it had last time they had met.

'Would you mind giving us a sec.' Sam asked, sensing Dean needed a moment.

'You guys aren't going to do anything nasty now are you?' The clerk said eyeing them suspiciously.

'I will charge you with a 10.41 if you make such an accusation again.' Sam said. The clerk retreated and left the brothers to it.

'Dean I can handle this on my own if you want, no big deal.'

'No Sam, I'm fine. Seriously.'

He looked at Allie's lifeless body and he shook off the chills that were running down his spine.

Sam took the arms to inspect the supposedly cause of death.

'Spill it Sammy, what's your idea on the cause of death?'

'Suicide,' Sam sighed, not understanding one bit of this case.

'C'mon there has to be something, this just reeks of the supernatural.'

'Take a look yourself, the hesitation marks are there, the angles are correct, the amount of pressure a 120 pond girl can master, it all fits. There is no doubt in my mind that these wounds were self-inflicted.'

'Fine then,' Dean said frustrated and angry, 'then we're going to find out why.'

'Why? We came here to help a girl but it looks like she needed a shrink and not us. Let's just call it a day and go home.'

'The hell we are!' Dean was now yelling, 'she called me Sam, me! And now she's dead, and I am gonna find out who did this or at least why she did this. I made a promise.'

Sam now remembered the warehouse pretty vividly, he saw his brother catching the girl when he cut her loose. Dean kept saying 'I got you,' he knew his brother was still haunted by that day, by those images and by her. So without a word he complied, remembering so clearly the sacrifice Dean had made by pulling himself out of that dream world, he couldn't disappoint his brother and tell him that there was no use. Dean clearly needed some sort of closure on this subject, else he would never let it rest.

'Okay fine,' he said calming his brother, 'we'll do whatever it takes.'

'Thank you,' Dean said, straightening his back and walking out of the morgue with his head held high, overcompensating how he really felt.

**********

Dean could barely remember the last time he slept, so he went back to his room, hoping he would find Lena there, though he wasn't in the mood to talk her presence would have calmed him down, disappointed he saw that the Mustang was nowhere to be found.

Sam entered his room and saw Julie typing away on the laptop.

'Hey I'm back,' Sam said, 'thanks for the suit.'

'Yeah I thought you might need that. So what did you find out?'

'Well it's definitely a suicide but it's weird. Why would she call us? Things just don't add up.'

'A suicide? That doesn't seem right.'

'No, I know that's just it. What did you found out?'

'Honestly, not much. No electrical storms, no cattle deaths, no strange deaths in the area, no flickering lights, no muggings, it's been really quiet around here.'

'Like something's coming quiet or just your run in the mill standard town happenings quiet?'

'More the average kind, I just don't see anything unusual. Maybe you should give it a try, my eyes are tired, I am going to take a nap.'

'Did you speak to Lena,' Sam asked while he took his seat in front of his laptop.

'No, I tried to call but my guess is she's ignoring calls.'

'Hm...'

Julie went to lie on the bed and she fell into a restless sleep pretty quickly. Sam couldn't stand his girl lying there in a sleazy motel, being plagued by nightmares and questions. He needed to get out of the room before he did something stupid.

Sam stopped by Dean's room and saw that he was vast asleep and wouldn't wake up for the next ten hours or so. He snaked the keys to the Impala and made way to the car.

Sam didn't have any trouble spotting the Mustang. He parked on the same lot, which apparently belonged to some shady bar, called Kugel's Keg. He sat behind the wheel for a moment contemplating if it was his place to go in. He figured it was 'cause after all, they weren't just friends, they were practically family and he loved her.

When he entered he saw Lena at the far end of the bar, she was staring outside, her laptop was in front of her, she was drinking tequila and smoking again.

'One beer please,' Sam ordered taking the seat next to hers.

'What are you doing here?' She said as flat and lifeless as before, still staring outside.

'Julz and Dean are sleeping, thought I'd take a drive,' he said confidently.

'Cut the bull, I am out of here,' Lena stood up smacking her laptop shut and almost falling over her own feet. Sam grabbed her by her upper arm.

'Sit down, you're not going anywhere, don't be stupid.' Sam said a little too menacing, 'I want to talk.'

'Let me go Sam.' She said with so much sadness in her eyes.

'Is this guy bothering you miss?' A friendly biker seizing the opportunity to come of as a chivalrous knight and whisking away the damsel in distress.

Lena was tempted to test which one would make it.

'Yes he is but don't worry, I can handle myself.' She wanted to avoid the biker getting hurt.

The biker looked ready to prance and Sam saw it.

'Just family business, man, she's my sister.'

The biker looked confused at Lena and she confirmed this statement with a nod. The biker left the odd pair and Sam, still holding Lena's upper-arm, pulled her back to her seat?

'You were going to get my ass kicked?' Sam asked stunned by her actions.

'You wanted to talk, talk.' She said sitting back down. Sam signalled the barkeep to poor her another tequila.

'You're smoking again.'

'I heard it kills you faster but just not fast enough,' she answered.

'Look Lena, you have to know it's not your fault.'

'How can you say that Sam? After all you and Dean have been through for the past two decades, how can you sit across from me saying that?' she said while her eyes were welling up.

'You want to know the cold hard facts?' Sam asked, not paying attention to the tears.

'Yes'

'We just went to the morgue's, she killed herself, three days after she called your house.'

'Yeah right,'

'It's true I inspected the wounds myself,'

'Something must have happened, why else did she call?'

'That's what we're staying for, Dean is very set on finding out what happened to her.' Speaking of Dean made Lena's mind do overtime, she suddenly wondered how he was. It must have brought back a lot of memories and not the best ones.

'Look Lena, I know how you are feeling, believe me. The only thing you can do is help us figure out what went wrong. After we do that the only thing you'll have to do is forgive yourself.'

'Did you ever forgive yourself?'

Sam looked at her, he knew what she meant. He had killed another hunter while being possessed but he had still felt it and seen it, he hadn't been able to save many, many others. And for each of them there was still a nagging in his gut. Lena saw it in his eyes and both went quiet as the tunes on the jukebox drowned out the other sounds in the bar, Sam sipped his beer and Lena drunk her tequila.

_Don't blame me you didn't get it_

_I already told you that falling is easy_

_It's getting back up that becomes the problem_

_Becomes the problem_

_If you don't believe you can find a way out_

_You've become the problem_

_Become the problem_

_You_

_All alone_

_Are you waiting for someone to make you whole?_

_Can't you see?_

_Aren't you tired of this dysfunctional routine?_

_**********  
_

'It's getting late, you should go back to Julie,' she said flat out still without any life in her voice.

'Yeah you're right, you should go see Dean,'

By hearing Dean's name she looked down, defeated.

'He wants to see you, I am sure of that,'

'Yeah I know, I just don't know if I want him to see me,' tears were now rolling from her eyes, crying for Allie, for Dean and the disappointment in herself.

Sam grabbed her behind her neck and pulled her to his chest.

'I am so sorry,' she said, the tears were now staining Sam's shirt but he didn't mind. He hugged her, she needed forgiveness of some sort, but he couldn't give it.

'It's okay, we'll find out who is responsible.'

'Thanks,'

Sam and Lena drove off in the Impala, Lena had had too many drinks to drive her Mustang back, she knew that so she didn't put up a fight when Sam took her keys.

When they arrived back at the motel Lena thanked Sam again.

'That's what family is for,' Lena loved the feeling of belonging somewhere, having a family and smiled at Sam.

When she got back to the room she saw that Dean had been tossing and turning but was still vast asleep, she undressed quickly and slipped in beside him, lying as far away as possible so she wouldn't disturb him. She was lying on her back and for the second time that day she really felt the tiredness in every inch of her body, she fell asleep quickly but not before she felt Dean turn as he realized she was in the bed with him. He pulled her close, burying his face in her hair, she could no longer resist and turned her head towards him. She kissed his forehead and as she did, she felt a tear had fallen onto her collarbone, it wasn't hers. Exhausted they both fell into unconsciousness, fighting their battles separately, in their sleep. In that moment they had grown more as a couple than the previous years before.

When Sam snuck into the room he tripped over the adaptor of the laptop, waking Julie in the process.

'Sorry, go back to sleep,' Sam whispered into the darkness.

Sam got in the bed next to her, he kissed her cheek and spooned her. They matched so perfectly, it was like a puzzle one piece fitted exactly into the other.

'You find her?'

'Who?'

'I'm not stupid.' She said still half asleep.

'Yeah, I did,'

'Is she okay?'

'She will be,' he said, not entirely certain of that statement.

**********

Both girls woke up early and though they were in separate rooms their minds were alike, both jumped in the shower, Julz made it short but Lena stayed under the warm water for a long time, washing her long hair and trying to get the tequila out of her foggy mind.

Julz was brushing her teeth when Sam entered the bathroom, he turned on the water and kissed her cheek.

'Morning,' he said.

'Now be honest don't you love finding me in the bathroom instead of Dean?' Julie said after rinsing her mouth.

'Well yeah, Dean isn't much to look at now is he, doesn't mean I like you being here.' He said jumping in the shower.

'You don't like me being here?' Julie said appalled.

'Nope, I rather have you home and safe.' Sam spoke with his analytical mind instead of his heart.

Julie didn't see any other way than pestering him about that last comment, so she flushed the toilet, leaving Sam squealing under the shower.

Dean woke up while Lena was in front of the mirror applying her mascara.

'Good morning,'

'Hey you're up, how are you feeling?' She put down the mascara, her hair was tied in a straight ponytail and she was wearing a black dress, she went over to the bed to lie next to her man.

'I'm fine,'

'You're not fine,' she stated putting one hand on his cheek, looking him straight in his eyes.

'How are you?'

'I will be fine.'

'You know we can't save everyone right?' Dean said trying to make the situation okay again.

'I haven't saved anyone, and God I swear if you now say I saved you some way I will walk,' she threatened. Dean smiled, his girl was back, sarcastic and loving, it made him feel better in an instant.

'Yet,' he said.

'What?'

'You haven't saved anyone... yet.'

Lena smiled faintly, kissed him and got back up.

'What the hell are you wearing?' Dean suddenly noticed confused.

'I'm going to the funeral, it's the least I can do.' Lena sighed.

'Yeah, you are right. Give me a minute.' Dean got up and dressed. While Lena waited outside, she could use some air with that massive headache.

Dean came out and locked the room.

Lena was heading for the stairs but Dean stopped her and kissed her properly.

'Crap,' he said.

'What?'

'You've been smoking again, haven't you?' Dean said pissed.

'I have no idea what you are talking about,' she said turning around and bumping into Sam.

'I guess great minds think alike,' Julie noted, she was wearing as similar black dress and the boys had cleaned up nice as well thanks to the women who had packed.

Sam and Julie made their way downstairs as Dean wouldn't let the subject go.

'You know that stuff will kill you, don't you?'

'Really? Man oh man, I had no idea, thanks for the heads-up,' she said sarcastically.

'What are you bickering about?' Sam inquired.

'Nothing,' she sighed.

'No not nothing, she's smoking again.' Dean paused and looked around while checking his pockets, 'this is not where I parked the Impala, and where is the Mustang?' He was completely confused.

Sam threw him the keys but no one breathed a word about what had gone on the night before. Silently the foursome sat in the car. Julie couldn't help but notice what a beautiful day it was outside, she could just feel spring in the air, as she listened to her iPod she smiled, truly content to be there. Sam saw her in the rear-view mirror and grinned, he loved seeing her enjoy the fresh air and the sun, while she moved her head on the beat of her music

_When illusion spin her net_

_I'm never where I want to be_

_And liberty she pirouette_

_When I think that I am free_

_Watched by empty silhouettes_

_Who close their eyes but still can see_

_No one taught them etiquette_

_I will show another me_

_Today I don't need a replacement_

_I'll tell them what the smile on my face meant_

_My heart going boom boom boom_

_"Hey" I said "You can keep my things,_

_they've come to take me home."_

_**********  
_

'We say goodbye to our beloved friend and a great person. There are no words to describe the atmosphere that has come down on Champaign. The hardest part is that we are all at a loss and don't understand...' The minister said.

'This is weird right?' Dean asked Sam quietly, as they stood in the back.

'Yeah it is,'

'The whole town shows up for the death of one girl?'

'Maybe she was just really loved,'

'Then why would she kill herself? I am telling you man something is off.'

'Yeah, I am starting to believe you.'

'... as we give her back to God we lay her body to rest.'

As the funeral ended both girls were on the verge of crying, they hadn't attended a funeral that had so many attendees who were all broken with the loss of this one person. Sam hugged Julie, kissing the top of her head and Dean squeezed Lena's hand softly.

Sam and Dean were doing their usual scan of the crowd to figure out what was going on.

Before driving back to the motel they made a stop at Kugel's Keg, picking up the Mustang.

'Here Sammy,' he said throwing the keys of the Impala to him and he got into the car next to Lena. Everyone was stunned but did as they were told.

Lena lifted her shades wiping away the tears before starting the car. Dean looked at her with such compassion.

'Don't look at me like that, I'm fine, I hate funerals that's all.' She said staring in front of her.

'Okay, if you say so.'

The music came on as she started the car.

_Climbing up on Solsbury Hill_

_I could see the city light_

Dean reached for the stereo but Lena smacked his hand away.

'House rules hunny, driver picks...'

'... the music, shotgun shuts his cakehole, yeah I know I invented that.' He said finishing her sentence. He rolled down the windows and actually started to enjoy the music.

_Wind was blowing, time stood still_

_Eagle flew out of the night_

_He was something to observe_

_Came in close, I heard a voice_

_Standing stretching every nerve_

_Had to listen had no choice_

'Are you alright Julz?'

'Yeah,' she said with a cracked voice, 'it just brings back an awful lot of memories I have tried so hard to forget.'

'I know,' he said with his soothing voice. He laid his hand on her knee, caressing it with his thumb.

_I did not believe the information_

_(I) just had to trust imagination_

_My heart going boom boom boom_

_"Son," he said "Grab your things,_

_I've come to take you home."_

Back at the motel they quickly changed outfits and Dean called a family meeting in their room.

'We'll need to split up, we have a lot of ground to cover and personally I want to finish this up as soon as possible so we can all get back to our lives. Sam, you and I will search the house, Julie, Lena you go to the library and find out as much about her as possible and the history of the house if you will. We come back here and figure out our next step. Any questions?'

'What are you thinking? Vengeful spirit? Demon? Human?' Julie asked curiously.

'No idea, we'll see what the search gives us. Okay troops let's move out.'

* * *

**Please review**


	5. Chapter 5 DDay Digging Day

**Hello everyone,**

**Songs used; Virtual Insanity by Jamiroquai and Oh Darkness by Admiral Freebee**

**BTW; the book Julie is reading is actually a FF, if you haven't read it you must, it's the best I ever read. Look for Crushed by Lady of Arabia  
**

* * *

Chapter 5: D-Day, Digging-day

Sam and Dean picked the lock easily and entered the small row house.

'Okay, well, you take upstairs, I'll take downstairs.' Dean said.

Dean pulled out his EMF reader and started scanning the house, specifically checking the windowsills as to see whether there was a sulphur residue. He finished the scan without finding any evidence that a demon had been here. He inspected her pictures and notice that there weren't a lot of them. Only one of her father was standing on the mantelpiece. When he took a closer look he saw that her house was decorated very soberly, like she hadn't had time to personalize but he knew for a fact that she had been living there for at least 5 years. He figured she just didn't have the time.

He started the computer that was standing in a dark corner while browsing through the paperwork that surrounded the old computer. He read some of the headings; hospitals, vets, cancer, heart disease, homes for elderly...

'What the...' Dean thought she must have been very ill or just a hypochondriac.

'Hey,'

'Djeezes Christ! Don't do that,' Sam scared the crap out of Dean by creeping up behind him unannounced.

'What did you find out?' He said regaining his composure.

'Well, for one she doesn't have any personal knick-knacks, just some children's drawings.'

'Yeah I know, look at the place, it's like it's for sale or something. One picture, that's it.'

'Yeah, but get this, I have got her diary, and the one from last year.' Sam said holding both brown bonded books into his hands.

'Nice, where was it? Under the mattress?' Sam just rolled his eyes, 'Great, you're a true scavenger hunter!'

'So what did you find?'

'Nothing much, no sulphur, no EMF, nothing out of the ordinary. Maybe there's something on the computer but at the looks of it, I doubt it.'

'Let me check,' Dean stepped out of the way letting Sam to the chair.

'Hmm...' Sam said.

'What?'

'It's not even password protected, means there's nothing to protect, I guess.'

Sam searched through a couple of files but didn't find anything that would actually help them. There were a lot of files though. And they pretty much had the same titles as the letters and papers scattered around that desk.

'This is a bust, let's go and see if the girls found anything,' Sam said, the thought of getting together with Julie and do some brainstorming really appealed to him and he almost ran out of the house holding the diaries in his hands.

'Okay you do the girl, I do the house,' Julie said while she took a place in the library.

'Ew!' Lena replied jokingly.

But Lena agreed easily, she wanted to know more about this girl. Who she was and if there was any justification to her own behaviour on the phone.

After about two hours of both girls doing a hell lot of research they packed up and went back to the motel.

'You think the boys will be back yet?' Julie asked.

'No idea, why don't you call them and see if we have to bring some food to the motel.'

'Good idea,' Julie took out her cell and dialled #1 one her speed dial.

'Hey, do Lena and I have to bring back some food?'

'You already back at the motel? Yeah, no my cell phone was off while I was in the library. Sam! Get a grip, we're fine. Yeah, we're on our way. See you in 10.'

'What was that all about?' Lena asked.

'Apparently the boys went mental when we weren't back at the hotel yet and we didn't pick up our phones.' Julie sighed, rolling her eyes.

'Men, such panicky weasels,'

'Now they at least know what we go threw like every two weeks.' Julie said smiling.

Lena laughed and she turned up the music, the windows were down and both girls started humming with the tunes.

_Futures made of virtual insanity now_

_Always seem to, be govern'd by this love we have_

_For useless, twisting, our new technology_

_Oh, now there is no sound - for we all live underground_

_**********  
_

When they pulled up they saw the boys standing on the balcony.

'Glad you ladies could join us,' Dean said sarcastically.

'Sorry, you know how it goes we had some sight-seeing and shopping to do,' Julie countered making Lena grin.

'Yeah you better have something useful, 'cause we pretty much came back empty-handed,' Sam said.

'Keep your pants on okay, we'll be up in a second,' Lena stated.

Both girls came up the stairs with a bunch of papers in their hands. The foursome all entered Sam and Julz' room for the brainstorming. Lena and Dean took the bed, while Julz sat herself on Sam's lap in front of the laptop.

'There's pizza and beer if you want,' Dean said.

'Thanks,' they said in unison, smiling at each other and they opened the box in the little kitchenette.

'Vegetarian?' Lena asked in wonder, looking at Dean.

'Yeah, of course!'

'Well thanks hun.'

'So what did you find out?' Sam asked.

'Well the history of the house was completely clean, there's no evidence of anything ever bad happening there.' Julz said confidently.

'Yeah we thought so, go on' Sam said, 'what about the girl?'

'Well she kind of has a sad history really. She doesn't have any family except for an aunt in the UK, called...' Lena paused going through her papers, 'Teresa, Teresa Eagles, living in London. She is loved by the town because she is involved in pretty much every charity organization in the state and some internationals as well...'

Sam and Dean now understood everything they had found on the computer and the desk, they looked at each other in agreement.

'She volunteers pretty much every free minute she has. She has been in numerous news paper articles, but the first article was different, she apparently lost her parents ten years ago, some sort of plane crash over Canberra, technical difficulty or something.'

'What wait,' Sam suddenly said interrupting Lena.

'What? Something ring a bell.'

Sam sighed, 'Yeah you could say that, when did her parents die?'

'Ten years ago,' Dean said, he picked up on it as well.

'What? What's going on,' Julie said.

'She made a deal, probably to get her parents out of her life.' Sam explained.

'Yeah, I think you're right,' Lena added, 'background check on Mrs Lipton did not get back clean, apparently she was a cocaine-addict and a mean drunk. She had 7 arrests on her record. Guess Allie didn't have the happiest of childhoods.'

'What about the dad?' Dean asked.

'He came back clean, no arrests, not even a parking ticket.'

Dean smiled and shook his head in disbelief, he got of the bed frustrated by the results he kicked the desk with the TV on.

'Those lying stinking skanks!'

'What is it Dean?' Sam asked, not getting it.

'Don't you see! She made a deal ten years ago for her mom, but they took both and probably the entire plane as well! All that on the shoulders of that poor girl. What she did was wrong but she didn't deserve this.'

'Guys?' Julie asked, 'So I don't really know the details about a deal, so how does it work? Is suicide normal?'

'Actually no,' Sam said, 'you usual look like you were a giant dog's dinner.' Sam suddenly flashed back to seeing his brother lying in that house, bleeding and the terror in his eyes, but he shook that nasty feeling off.

'And if you make a deal, is it pretty strict, I mean time-wise?' Julie asked.

'Yeah, ten years is ten years, why?' Dean said confused.

'Well the dates don't add up,'

'What do you mean,' Dean said.

'She died well a couple of days ago, April, her parents died well 10 years and six months ago.'

'Okay I feel we're going around in circles.'

Dean and Julie were trying to make the demon-deal fit, while Sam and Lena were reading the journals.

'Look guys, something is off, it's definitely a deal,' Sam suddenly said. The others looked at him confused.

'I quote: _"I have 365 days left as of now, I have to make it count, I have to know that I made a difference, maybe then I'll find peace with the decision I once made."_' Sam looked up and saw the date on the page, 'this was written a year and a half ago.'

'She must have found a way to hold off the dogs,' Dean explained.

'For six months?! Dean, be real! We searched the globe to fight them off and we have our background, our connections and we failed, I still failed!'

Julie was startled by the turn of events in the room. Sam was standing now raising his voice towards his brother. She grabbed his hand and pulled him back to the chair.

'You're right,' Dean complied, he saw Lena flipping pages back and forward with a confused face.

'Hunny, you alright there? Don't hurt yourself.'

'Haha...' she said without looking up, still flipping pages.

'What is it,' Dean said.

'It's just so strange. It's like I am reading about two different people but it's the same hand writing. The first one is lively and up-beat and a hard worker, the second is a scared little girl, afraid of everything and suffering from a great depression.'

'When's the change?' Dean asked.

'Euhm,' Lena hummed while turning the pages and deciding where the personality changed, 'End of October, beginning November. Around the change of the month.'

'Maybe she just has had her period for the last couple of months?' Dean said, laughing with his own joke. Lena threw a glass at him but he caught it effortlessly.

'So, correct me if I am wrong,' Sam said, 'she changed around the time she actually should have died?'

'Euhm, yeah I guess so. She even talks about it. She wrote: _"I am getting scared, I never thought that any of this existed, I don't know what's going to happen. Yes I regret dealing with the red-eyed man but I would have been dead anyway, at least now I have been able to make the best of my life, and help anywhere I can. My refuge for abused children will be my legacy. At least I got to save a few lives. Trading an old life for several young ones, seems a fair deal."_'

'So she dodged the bullet and managed to defy the hell hounds, we don't know how, and then eventually she kills herself six months later? That just doesn't make sense, at all!' Sam said.

'Yeah she gets paranoid and scared and there's tons of self-loathing in here. She thinks everything is her fault. Here towards the end, she no longer wants to go outside; "_I asked Mrs Pepper if she wanted to bring over some groceries, she went to the store for me and a rack of canned soup fell on top of her, I am a bad person. It's all my fault. It's all my fault. It's all my fault."_ She keeps repeating that sentence as well.'

'Maybe she was only safe from the hell hounds in her own home?'

'There are no mentions in here of giant demonic dogs,' Lena noted.

'I suggest we go home...'

'What? We don't know what's going on?'

'How can you say that?'

'Sam please, we need to know what happened.'

'Shut up all of you, let me finish. We have done our digging, we have our research. It's obviously not bound to the town or the house. There's no need for us to be here, we might as well go back, where I have books at home with more info. We can even swing by Bobby's place, see if he has an opinion.'

The group felt sorry for attacking Sam and kind of agreed. There was nothing more for them to do here, though they were determined to find out the very last detail, they did decide to go back home.

The girls started packing up the cars while Sam and Dean went to the local grocery store to get some provisions for the road.

Sam paused before they walked back to the car and stopped Dean.

'You do know what we'll have to do, don't you?' Sam said.

'Yeah I have been thinking about it.'

'I don't see another way, if you are still resolute about finding out what happened to Allie.'

'Yeah, I am. We'll have to bite the bullet.'

The guys continued walking to the cars as the girls just closed the trunks.

'Ah, Julie look our strong men have returned and they brought food.'

'How neanderthaler of them,' she said cooing.

'You love it when I go all stone age on your ass,' Dean said close enough to kiss Lena.

Sam did the same and he handed over the food to Julie.

'Drive safely now.'

'What do you mean? No headbanging to the music? No taking phone calls? Or no falling asleep?'

'All of the above please, urgh, just make sure my fiancée gets home in one piece okay!'

'Fine,' Lena sighed, rolling her eyes.

Julz and Lena got into the car.

'Something is off,' Julie suddenly said when their doors closed.

'Yeah I know,' Lena replied.

'You know what I'm talking about?'

'Of course I always know what you're talking about. Dean's kiss it was different.' She sighed.

'Yeah, exactly,' Julie replied silently.

The odd foursome took off and they put Champaign in their rear-view mirrors, the sun was just going down and they were heading into another beautiful night.

Julie was reading her favourite book, _Crushed_, again while Lena was listening to the music.

_The first time I saw your face_

_There was a fire in your soul_

_I felt that first embrace_

_As a fire in your soul_

_Where has it gone now?_

_Where has it gone now?_

_Haven't seen you in a long long time_

_Except maybe in my dreams_

_But nothing's ever yours to keep_

_Nothing's ever as it seems_

_**********  
_

Around 3am Lena's phone went off but Julie was already sleeping, so she picked it up herself.

'Hi,' Dean said.

'Hi,' Lena grinned.

'You weren't supposed to pick up,'

'Julz is asleep, besides I am a good driver, so just you worry about the Impala swaying from left to right.'

'What? I am not moving an inch.'

'Yeah, okay, whatever you say,' Lena said sniggering.

'Hun, Sam and I are going to make a little detour, we're getting off at the next exit. I want you to go straight to Bobby's.'

'What? The hell we are! We're in this together! What do you know that we don't?' Lena nudged Julie awake and mouthed what was going on. She was still dazed but just as angry as Lena.

'I could fill books with stuff that you don't know, but that's not the point, just go to Bobby's we'll see you there tomorrow, late afternoon.'

'No Dean, I will not let you brush me off like this, you'll have to spill it else I would just trail you, you know that.'

'Look, Bobby really needs to see this and we have to check out a lead, please, please just listen.'

'Fine!' Lena answered and she cut the phone off.

'I can't believe those guys,' Lena said hitting her steering wheel.

Julie saw them turning off at the next exit.

'You're not going to follow them?'

'No I'm not,'

'Lena! Turn around, that's the love of my life leaving to god knows where. Turn around now!' Julie yelled.

'No,'

'Why not!' Julie said in despair.

'Because I promised that man to keep you safe, and I am not going to break that promise. And for your information, the love of my life is in there too.' Lena said icy calm.

'I can't believe this, I can't believe what I am hearing, who the fuck are you! You're not my mother or father! What gives you the right to decide this?'

'You are the closest thing I have to family, and I am going to make damn sure that it stays that way! We've known each other for a long time and I'd like to keep it that way!' Lena now yelled back at her, silencing Julie for a minute.

'Yeah, because I was the only one reading your books,' Julie smirked still pissed off.

'Yeah, my number one and only fan,' Lena said smiling with Julie's joke.

'I'm sorry I yelled,'

'That's okay,'

'You know I consider you family too right?'

'Yeah I know,'

'What did she say,' Sam asked when Dean shut the phone.

'She didn't say anything, she yelled a lot though.'

'What do you think? They'll follow us?'

'No, I don't think so, if I know Lena and I think I do, she would have followed if she was alone, to no regard of her own life. But with Julz by her side, no she'd rather make the detour of returning her safely to Bobby and then go after us than putting a friend in harm's way.' Dean said smiling, he knew he was right.

Sam smiled, he knew Lena would take care of his girl, but hearing the confirmation from Dean just made his heart slow down to a normal pace.

They came to a stop on a dirt road with no traffic, Dean turned off the lights. And they both got out of the car.

'What do you think you're doing?' Dean said.

'What?' Sam asked innocently.

'They don't like you very much,'

'So what?'

'You've killed one before and you've pinned one down, seriously get back into the car or we came out here for nothing.'

'Fine!' Sam got back into the car against his own will. He did keep a close eye on his brother.

Dean took out a small box with all the necessities and a picture. He buried it in the middle of the crossroads.

_Haven't seen you in a long long time_

_Except maybe in my dreams_

_But nothing's ever yours to keep_

_Nothing's ever as it seems_

'My, my, my Dean, you have grown,' A very attractive brown haired woman said, with a thick English accent, walking up to Dean like a lioness to its prey.

'Don't I know you from somewhere?' Dean asked completely confused.

'Maybe, I am wearing a travel guide, nice suit. She's fun, her mind is almost as obscene as my own.'

'Yeah I remember.' Dean said wincing.

'So you little tagger, where are the devil's traps you always seem to have around, or the knife, or the colt. You know my peers are calling it suicide showing up for the Winchesters, but what can I say... I get off on self-sacrifice.'

'No devil's traps, no tricks, you have my word.'

'So what can I get you? Money, fame? Or a life without the supernatural perhaps? You and your brother can be happy and marry those poor feeble girls and have many, many children. You should have some decency, you both need to be with strong intelligent women but instead you picked those two worthless chicks.

Dean was now steaming.

'Obviously you have never met either of them, because they are both twice the woman you'll ever be.'

'Tututu Dean, don't provoke me, by the way where's you trigger happy little sidekick?'

'He's in the car, don't worry he wont do anything,'

'What if I want him to do me?' She said biting her lower lip.

'You better ask him yourself,'

'Please go fetch him, I need to talk to both of your,'

_Except the fire_

_Except the fire_

_Oh darkness, oh darkness_

_Roll over me tonight_

_Oh darkness, oh darkness_

_Roll over me tonight_

_The first time I saw your face_

_There was a fire in your soul_

Sam joined the party as they now stood as an odd threesome, all three menacing in their own ways, all three powerful enough to hurt one another.

'Sam, Dean. I must say I am disappointed. You,' she said nodding to Sam, 'you were supposed to lead the demon army and become king of the underworld, keeping the lock on Lucifer's cage. Instead you don't become who you were born to be, loose you powers and shack up with a sweet, brown-haired teacher? Please, you are a walking cliché. And you Dean, being thrown in hell, seriously I feel for you. The angels pulled you out but decided to leave your balls down there, and they use you like the good little soldier you are. You were supposed to be canon fodder, I'm surprised you made it out of the war. Oh and then you bumped into an average plane girl, what a step down!' she said shaking her head disapprovingly.

'This monologueing, does it come with the demonic job description 'cause I got to tell ya, it needs some work, tell us something we don't know.' Dean countered, not caring about anything she said, they were a lot stronger now than back then.

'What do you want to know? Why you are really here?'

'We're here for Allie,' Sam interrupted.

'No puppy, you're not. Allie got what she had coming for, that's all. You are here because you are both so sick of living these lives in constant danger,' she walked up to Sam, looking into his eyes she stroked his face, 'you want to marry the silly git, and start a family and your brother is thinking about children. How will you manage that when you know what kind of world we live in?'

'What happened to Allie,' Dean asked again, ignoring the demon's visions for them, 'was she yours?'

'I wouldn't be here if she was.'

'What's that supposed to mean?' Sam asked.

'My colleague was sent straight to the pit for that contract, he shouldn't have lost it.' She stated with just a pinch of false sympathy in her voice.

'What do you mean by loosing a contract, there's no paperwork?' Dean remarked.

The demon laughed at his idiotic response.

'Oh boy, you really don't know. And I thought I was talking to the legendary Winchesters! Instead I have a groom and a soon-to-be-daddy. Tell me Dean what example are you gonna follow, run away from your offspring when things get tough? And you Sam, are you prepared to see Julie burning on a ceiling? Because that's where you're headed, with this life anyway.'

Sam had had enough of the blabbing and he attacked the demon bitch while Dean got out the holly water and took out a necklace made out of salt-drenched rope and a devil's trap charm hanging it around her neck.

'What the hell are you doing?' she screamed while the water sizzled on her skin.

'Well I thought it was time that I bought you a gift, pretty necklace don't you think?' Dean said circling the former travel agent.

'You forget, I like things a bit kinky and that woman here inside me is exceeding my expectations, we like it.' She said in a horny way, laughing at the boys who were, honestly, a bit stunned.

'Tell us what we came here for,' Sam yelled.

'Or what? You exorcize me? You know I'll just climb back out and I'll bring some friends who love white meat. Julie does look tasty.'

Sam smacked her hard in the face before coming back to eyelevel.

'I wont exorcize you, well that's not completely true, I'll read the incantation over and over and over again, but that necklace will keep you from getting out of that body. Pretty clever ain't it? Just good old fashion torture, as you said I lost my powers but I never lost my brain.' Sam said with more confidence than Dean had seen in a long time. Well it had been a long time since they both actually needed to be on their toes, using their wits and their training. Since the apocalypse the jobs had been fairly straightforward and pretty easy. They weren't quickly challenged, they were the Winchesters, after all, legendary for closing the gates to hell, stopping the apocalypse and killing Lilith. You had to be nuts to challenge them in America, and if you had the bad luck of being tracked down or cross paths unintentionally, well not even Lucifer could help you then.

'So what's it going to be?' Dean asked.

The demon laughed a bouldering laugh.

'You think you can trap me? Do you have any idea who you're dealing with?' she threatened.

'What do you think Sammy, I was thinking your average run in the mill crossroads bitch, how many have we seen so far?' Dean said turning to Sam, shrugging like it was nothing.

'Yeah my thoughts exactly, shall I begin?' he asked his brother.

'Please, do the honours, it has been a while though, you think you can still get it right or will you have to start over and over again?' Dean said faking his nuisance.

The demon looked at both, sizing them up, wondering if they were kidding, but they looked more like two trolls deciding how to eat the hobbit in front of them.

'I think I can manage, let's see,

_Regna terrae, cantate Deo, psallite Domino_

_qui fertis super caelum_

_caeli ad Orientem_

_Ecce dabit voci suae vocem virtutis,_

_tribuite virtutem deo._

_Deus caeli, deus terrae,_

_humiliter majestati gloriae tuae supplicamus_

_ut ab omni infernalium spirituum potestate,_

_laqueo, deceptione et nequitia,_

_omnis fallaciae, libera nos, domine.'_

The demon screamed in fury as she now came to terms that she was really stuck in that body, no matter how hard she tried to escape.

'Wo ho! Sammy! And without fault, I got to hand it to you man.' Dean said clapping his hands, he was really enjoying this. He had been itching for a serious hunt, he had been afraid that they had become rusty.

'Yeah, I know it's like riding a bike,' Sam said triumphantly.

They all knew who had the upper hand and there was no use in going on.

'Fine!' She screamed, 'I'll talk.'

'Good, I was afraid I was going to be here all night,' Sam said.

'Look I don't know the details...'

'Oh oh! That's no way to start now is it, try again.' Dean interrupted.

'I just heard the story okay, I was never near the demon who made the deal nor the girl. There are some rules we have to obey. People who can't be touched, who can't be involved in deals or any other demonic crap. Call them the diplomats of earth. She was one of them, a chosen one.'

'What does that mean,' Sam asked sternly.

'She had another destiny and when she made that deal she went off the grid, she was made of pure goodness, you can't touch those. If you do, you kind of declare war to the other side.'

'So? What happened, why did she still die?'

'Covering up the mistake that was made ten years ago, and they succeeded. They sent a dark angel on her, so she would kill herself. That way no one was to blame. Those souls are lost to heaven, whether they are made out of pure goodness or not.'

'So why was she untouchable? What was her destiny?'

'I don't know, I swear. I just know the rules, that's all.' She said honestly scared for her life, she had hoped toying with the boys' mind would have been enough. She hadn't thought about the consequences.

Dean saw she was telling the truth and decided to lift her off the pain bench. He took off the necklace and let her go. Within seconds black smoke spewed out of the travel agent's mouth and all there was left was a very confused, suddenly very horny, thirty-something year old woman.

'Sam? Dean? What am I doing here?' she said grasping her head. 'What happened? Why am I wet?'

'Come on, let's get you to the car, you'll be fine.' Dean lifted her, like she weighed nothing and he put her into the backseat of the Impala, but not before her hand traced down his back and squeezed his ass. Dean looked at her confused.

'Sorry doll, I just couldn't resist,' she said.

They drove off while the sun was already making its entrance and they still had a long way to go.

'So dark angels huh?' Dean said, 'ever heard of them?'

'Heard of? Yes, what they are? No idea,' Sam said.

* * *

**So I hope you like the story and where this is going....**


	6. Chapter 6 Whining and Dining

**I have no idea if anyone is actually reading this FF but here's the next chapter anyway...**

**Many songs were used, as it is a long and light chapter; Led Zeppelinh is singing Communication Breakdown, Kansas and Boston are rocking out our favourites and for romance we are using Kissing You by Sade...**

**Enjoy**

**

* * *

  
**

Chapter 6: Whining and Dining

'Hey Bobby,' Julie said exhausted from the long drive. It was about 10am when they finally arrived and she hadn't been able to close her eyes since she had seen the car and her man turn off.

'Julz, you look tired, come in girls,' he enveloped her in a big bear hug.

'Hey Bobby,'

'It's so great to see you girls, come in come in.' He said directing them to the living room. He rapidly threw some books of the couch and made room for them to sit. 'Can I get you anything?'

'Some water would be great,' Lena replied and Julie nodded in agreement.

Bobby dashed off to the kitchen, he wanted to know what they were doing here, he wondered if the boys were in trouble but he figured he would have gotten a call if that was the case.

Julie looked at Lena and saw that she was barely able to hold her head right.

'Just lie down for a minute and sleep a bit, you must be exhausted, I'll fill Bobby in,' she said caring for her friend.

'Yeah I might just do that,' Lena laid her head on Julie's lap and she fell asleep quickly, not being able to keep her eyes open for one more minute.

'Poor thing, she been driving all night?' Bobby asked as he came back with two glasses of water. He took a seat across from Julie, who drank the first glass and the second.

'Yeah of course, you know how she gets, no one can even touch Jared without her permission,' Julie said rolling her eyes.

'So, not that I am glad to see you girls but what are you doing here? Where are Sam and Dean?'

'That we don't know, we're here on business believe it or not,' Julie said.

'Business? Hunting business or you want me to do a show-and-tell at school?'

'Hunting business,' Julie snickered.

'You went hunting with them?'

'Not precisely, we tagged along for the research but came across some weird information, the facts don't add up and we were kind off stuck, so we decided to come by your house on our way home. But then in the middle of the night Dean called saying they're going to make a detour.' Julie's knuckles turned white as she clutched the glass she was holding.

'Julz, hunny careful,'

'Oh, sorry,' she said confused and put the glass back down.

'So what's this case?'

'Well, Lena got a phone call from some girl, or so we thought, Allie Lipton about a week ago. Sam and Dean were still up in Maine with a wendigo, she brushed the girl off, not knowing who she was. Apparently she was the girl that had been trapped in the warehouse with Dean, under the djinn's spell.' Bobby nodded, remembering her.

'So when they came back Dean called to find out what's up, she didn't answer her phone, long story short we went over there, and we were right on time for the funeral.' Bobby sighed shaking his head.

'We did the digging and we know that she made a deal to get rid of her mother, problem is she made that deal 10 and half years ago, so she must have found a way to get rid of it, more odd was the fact that she had killed herself, there was no sign of demonic activity at all.'

Bobby looked incomprehensibly, he couldn't fit all the pieces together but he did have a theory.

'And that's why you are here?' he said.

'Yep'

'And the boys have gone off following their own theory?'

'I guess so. This girl was apparently pretty important to Dean and he had the compulsive need to find out what had happened to her. Definitely because she had called their house only three days before killing herself.'

'Yeah, I see, when do you think they'll be here?'

'Lena said around the afternoon. I'm guessing 3-4pm?'

'Right, you know what, you are tired, why don't you have a lie down here,' Bobby pointed to a couch nearby, 'and let me do some research while we wait for the boys.'

'No thanks, let me do some research,'

Bobby looked into her eyes, squinting his own and looking disapprovingly.

'Okay fine, I'll take a nap,' Julz sighed.

'You do that, else I'm in a shit load of trouble when Sam gets here.'

Julie got up carefully exchanging her lap with a pillow, but Lena didn't wake up. She was long gone in a swirl of nightmares starring Dean and Allie.

She went to lie down and suddenly felt that Bobby was right, she fell asleep before hitting the pillow.

**********

'So,' Dean said after dropping the travel agent at the bus station.

'So, what?' Sam asked.

'You're still going to marry Julie?'

'Of course!' Sam said like there were no other possibilities.

'I mean after what that crossroad demon said.'

'Yeah I know what you mean, I know more now, I am better prepared. There's no way I'll let that happen to Julie. I'll protect her.'

'I am sure you will,' Dean said, 'but you can't be with her 24/7 and she's your weakspot. We know it, they know it.'

'When's the last time we have been challenged by some evil spawn?' Sam asked confidently. 'Not counting the trickster.'

'Yeah I know, Sam just...'

'Just what? Are you going to leave Lena to protect her?' Sam countered. Though Dean had been questioning himself with the same thing it still hit him hard hearing it from someone else. The thought alone was excruciating but he couldn't deny that them being apart but her being safe did appeal a great deal.

'Maybe, I don't know.'

'Just a few days ago you were talking about children?!' Sam said.

'Yeah but we both know that is pretty impossible, I mean that bitch was a lying skank but half of what she spewed was right.'

'I can't believe what I'm hearing!' Sam said, 'look we can protect them, if they're not with us they are just as vulnerable to the supernatural as any other civilian.'

'That's not completely true Sammy and you know it, I am just saying...'

'Don't just say, Julie knows me, she knows what I do, what we were trained to do, if she found it too dangerous she would have walked away years ago. She'll decide what she can handle, I am not doing it for her.' Sam said confidently.

'Fine, this'll be a moot point anyway,'

'What do you mean?'

'After last night, it wouldn't surprise me if Lena dropped Julie at Bobby's and left to pack my stuff and kick me to the kerb.' Dean snickered at the thought.

'Yeah you are right, she is a smart woman.'

Both went silent, reviewing their own situations and their options, and considering their past.

Dean turned up the music;

_Wanted death or alive_

_Sometimes I sleep, sometimes its not for days_

_And the people I meet always go their separate ways_

Sam and Dean glanced at each other with frightened looks, and Dean immediately reached to change the channel.

_Hey, girl, stop what you__'re doin!_

_Hey, girl, you'll drive me to ruin._

_I don't know what it is that I like about you,_

_But I like it a lot._

_Wont let me hold you,_

_Let me feel your lovin charms._

_C__ommunication breakdown,_

_It's always the same,_

_I'm having a nervous breakdown,_

_Drive me insane!_

_**********  
_

They arrived at Bobby's at 3pm, Bobby was sitting on the porch waiting with a beer. And Dean was very relieved to see the Mustang, though he had joked before, somewhere in his mind he was scared that he might have been right.

'Hey Bobby, got one for us?' Dean said approaching the house with a smile.

'You idjits!' Bobby wanted to yell but he was suppressing his voice so he wouldn't wake the girls.

'What?'

'You can't drag those two into one of your hunts!' He said seething with rage, after all he had come to love both women like they were his own daughters, he protected them more than he did the boys.

'Bobby, they practically begged us to come with, look it's a long story but there was no way they were going to let us go.'

'Fine! Then if you are that stupid to drag them along you should keep them in the loop! Not knowing is much more dangerous than knowing everything! Poor things came here both upset and exhausted from you sudden disappearance.'

'If we had told they would have been a lot more worried than now.' Sam yelled back at Bobby.

'Keep your voice down, boy, they are inside sleeping!' Bobby countered.

Hearing Bobby say that their women were inside sleeping made the itch pretty bad and they wanted to go inside as fast as possible.

Sam walked through the door by-passing Bobby and Dean was right behind him but he hit Bobby friendly on the shoulder with a big smile.

When Dean saw his girl lying on the couch every thought of leaving her disappeared into oblivion. He couldn't, he was in this too deep and he loved her.

He squatted down so his face was levelled with hers, she looked so peaceful and beautiful to him that he didn't want to wake her but looking into her eyes was more appealing, he stroked her cheek with the back of his hand.

'I am here,' he whispered, causing Lena to open her eyes.

'You're alive, hurray,' she said sarcastically and she turned around so she faced the back of the couch and she fell asleep again.

Sam tried the same with Julie but aside from the variation on sarcasm she pretty much reacted the same.

'They are so smart,' Bobby said grinning proudly as a father, whose girl came home from prom and had said _no_.

'Come on let's go outside we need to talk.'

'So spill it, where've you been?'

'We paid a visit to some of Sam's friends,' Dean said grinning stupidly.

'We summoned a crossroads demon, to find out about the deal, I assume they filled you in?' Sam said ignoring Dean.

'Yeah, they did. So what did she have to say?'

'Not everything made sense, something about a chosen one but we didn't get the intail. There was something though, she said they had sent a dark angel after Allie.'

'Yeah when Julz told me about the suicide that was one of my guesses, I don't know anything about chosen ones though.'

'So what is it? A demon?' Dean inquired.

Bobby grunted.

'Well not exactly, but they definitely don't play with the good guys, they gather souls for hell. You know when you get killed by something supernatural you don't exactly end down in the pit?'

'Yeah,' Dean said sipping his beer.

'Well these fuckers do get the job done, there's some lore but the consistent thing is that they use mind manipulation,'

'But if they use mind control, isn't it still murder,' Sam said confused.

'Not exactly, they read your mind and filter out the things you're not proud of, the worst things you have ever done, and then they magnify the gravity of that action by a million. They don't control your actions, you're pushed into it but they don't pull the trigger.'

'Mean little fuckers, so what can we do about it?' Dean asked.

'Case solved as far as I'm concerned, I don't know where they are, how many or even how to kill it.' Bobby said, 'there's nothing you can do Dean, her soul's lost, you have done your part. Just go home and spend some time with those two amazing women. Besides you have a wedding to organize.'

'I agree Dean, I mean we've done everything we could, we can't save her.'

Dean went silent and bitter, and nodded, if they weren't going to help he'd handle it himself.

'Fine,' he said trying to disguise his anterior motif.

Sam stood up drinking the last of his beer.

'Man I could use a nap like Julie's right now, he said stretching.

'What? You've been snoring in the car! Whimp!' Dean said shaking his head.

'Dean! I don't know if you noticed but I am pretty tall and the Impala isn't really comfortable,'

'Don't blame the Impala for your abnormalities!'

'Boys, please, you are both tired that's obvious, why don't you crash here tonight, take the guestrooms upstairs. They ain't being used anyway. And take the girls with ya,' he said solving the situation.

Sam and Dean agreed that staying at Bobby's, regaining some of their strength, take a breather, sounded like perfect idea.

Dean went over to the couch were Lena was sleeping, he didn't want to wake her so he picked her up very carefully, but she woke up anyway.

'What are you doing?' she asked drowsy with her eyes still closed. She wanted to be angry but the moment she smelled him, she just wanted to get closer and she let him carry her upstairs.

Sam tried to lift Julie but she was semi-conscience.

'Don't,' she said, pushing his hands away.

'Julz, don't stay mad,' he pleaded in a soft whisper, not wanting his brother to hear his pleads.

She turned to face him, which was a big mistake because she could now see the puppy eyes she has never ever been able to resist.

'I am sorry,' he added and now the pouting lip was sure to seal the deal.

Julie couldn't oppose and broke into a thousand little pieces, she sighed.

'Kiss me first,' she demanded.

'Gladly,' he said smiling.

He leaned in and right before his lips reached hers Sam heard her breathing coming to a complete stop, like after all these years she still wasn't used to kissing the man she loved and he liked it, he loved that she still saw him with fresh, new eyes each day. So he kissed her each day with the intensity of a first kiss, the excitement of a first kiss, nothing about their relationship was routine.

Sam picked her up like she weighed nothing and carried her upstairs, laying her on the big bed. He pulled off his trousers and climbed in bed next to her, and with Julie close to him, in his arms he fell asleep.

**********

Bobby had cooked a fantastic meal, it wasn't everyday that his kids came to visit and frankly he loved the house brewing with laughter, bickering and teasing, it made him feel younger and want to stick around a lot longer.

He went upstairs knocking on the doors.

'You kids going to sleep all day or does anyone want dinner?' Bobby yelled.

Julie and Lena had slept a good portion of the day and when they heard Bobby's voice they couldn't wait to get downstairs, realizing they were famished. Sam and Dean hadn't been out long but the smells penetrating the wooden doors couldn't keep them in bed either.

Dean rapidly put his jeans back on and followed his sweetheart out the door, feeling her up on the way down, which made her giggle and laugh.

All four of them were stunned when they saw the dinner table.

'Bobby? This is not take-out,' Sam said.

'Yeah so, you think a man alone can't cook?'

'Well...' Sam sputtered, 'I didn't know you could.'

'Yeah well, what's an old man to do after preventing the apocalypse? Gotta train my brain,' Bobby explained.

Everyone gathered round the table and sat down looking at the feast in front of them the hungry rugarus inside Sam and Dean took over their bodies. Lena got up to get some beers out of the kitchen, when she came back she had a gigantic smile on her face.

'What?' Dean asked with food coming out of his mouth.

'You wont believe what I just found!' she giggled, throwing a teasing look at Bobby.

'Lena, no, put it back,' Bobby demanded.

'Yeah the hell I am.' She yelled.

Lena took the book from behind her back and showed it to everyone.

'Cooking with Martha Stewart?' Sam yelled in disbelief almost falling of his chair in disbelief. Julie couldn't catch her breath either, the thought alone was just so inconceivable she couldn't wrap her mind around it.

'Who's that?' Dean asked, confused why everyone was in stitches.

Lena put the book down on the nearest cupboard and went to sit back down after giving everyone their beers, and scratching Dean's neck affectionately.

'Seriously, who is she?' he repeated.

'Someone who learned to cook in prison,' Julie said winking at Lena.

'Look I have a lot of free time now and well when my grandchildren come over I'd like to give them something else than food poisoning and a beer,' Bobby countered when the laughter tied down.

'Grandchildren?' Lena said, 'don't count me in, not in the near future anyway.' She continued eating a piece of bread.

Dean looked at her confused, though they had never really talked about it, he kind of figured that her wanting to have kids was a given.

'You're not bailing on me too now are you Julie?' Bobby said.

'You should talk to him about that,' she said nodding her head towards Sam.

Wide-eyed Sam stared at Julie. They had had this talk and though Sam did want children he wanted to wait another couple of years and just enjoy each other first.

'So what,' he said, 'maybe I am a bit traditional, I'd liked to marry first and then have kids. What's wrong with that?'

'Yeah you're quite the average Joe, ripping demon's heads off and closing the gates to hell, you're right totally the family man!' Dean said sarcastically.

Sam threw a bread-roll at his brother who caught it in midair and put it in his mouth.

'Wow Bobby that was just great, thank you,' Dean said leaning back on his chair, literally stuffed like a turkey.

'Yeah don't open your pants just yet, the dishes are all yours,'

'We're already on it,' Julie and Lena said clearing the table, kissing Bobby on the cheek as they went to the kitchen.

The old man couldn't help and grin, the gratitude was definitely worth being laughed at for knowing Martha.

'Oh God,' Julz said upon entering the kitchen.

'Yeah I know, I saw it earlier.'

'This is not a kitchen,' Julie added, 'this... this...'

'Is a warzone,' both girls said in unison, they laughed at each other. The more time they spend together the more their minds became aligned with one another.

It appeared as if Bobby had used every pan and pot available in that house and Julie even considered if he had gone out into the scrap yard for more pots and pans.

Lena was already filling the sink while Julie was trying to organize what came first and what last. Lena pulled two beers out of the fridge and toasted with Julz on a fun evening after a hell lot of time. Julie leaned back on the counter and just cringed at the thought of washing it all, she put down her beer and confidently she walked back in the living room. She went to stand behind Sam and hugged him from behind, kissing his cheek and neck while his arms turned behind the chair enveloping Julie's legs.

'Don't you want to come and help us in the kitchen?' she said with a voice made of small kittens, pouting her lip just enough for him to get weak in the knees and do whatever she says. He got up and followed her like the good little boy he was.

'Oh man you're such a woos!'

'Dean, hunny, you coming?' Lena said from the doorway.

'Sorry babe, I don't do dishes,' he said.

'Okay,' Lena said and she walked back into the kitchen.

'Okay?' Bobby asked completely confused.

'Yeah, sure we have an understanding,' He said winking.

'You idjit, she just banned you from the bed for the rest of the week! You seriously don't know the smallest thing about women, do ya?'

Dean looked at him, was Lena being passive-aggressive in this instant? Would she use this later on?

'Come on, I'll help.' Bobby said seeing the panic in his son's eyes.

'Look who has graced us with his presence,' Lena said when he came behind her and put his hands on her hips when she was standing in front of the sink. He brushed the hair off her neck and lightly caressed his lips against her bare skin, something she couldn't resist and she got chills all over her body.

'Hey Bobby please, you did the cooking let us clean up, please, that's the least we can do.' Julie said pulling a chair out for the old man she loved so much.

Sam and Julie were on drying duty and Lena and Dean took the washing, before putting on the gloves Dean turned the tiny radio in the kitchen on and played with it until he found a song he liked.

_Carry on, you will always remember_

_Carry on, nothing equals the splendor_

_The center lights around your vanity_

_But surely heaven waits for you_

_Carry on my wayward son_

_There'll be peace when you are done_

_Lay your weary head to rest_

_Don't you cry (don't you cry no more)_

Bobby enjoyed the atmosphere so much that he almost got teary-eyed out of pure and sheer joy, he saw Lena and Dean playing with the water while Julz and Sam were trying to separate them but unfortunately got caught in the crossfire.

The music went on and welcomed the night.

_Well I get so lonely when I am without you_

_But in my mind, deep in my mind,_

_I can't forget about you_

_Good times, and faces that remind me_

_I'm tryin to forget your name and leave it all behind me_

_You'r__e comin back to find me._

_Well I'm takin my time, I'm just movin on_

_You'll forget about me after I've been gone_

_And I take what I find, I don't want no more_

_It's just outside of y__our front door._

Sam, still pretty tired, had a need to be alone with Julie so they retreated to their room.

'Goodnight Bobby, thanks again for dinner,' she said while hugging the man from behind.

'Yeah Bobby, thanks again,'

'Yeah,' the old man grunted as he got up from the chair, 'I am hitting the sack as well. You kids be quiet tonight, okay?' he said with a plea in his eyes. Not wanting any fooling around under his roof.

'Hey hey, who do you take us for, we're not always going at it like weasels! Besides it's not because you no longer can, we can't,' Dean said smirking at Bobby.

'Don't you toy with me boy, all systems still go!' Bobby yelled.

'Oh my God!' Lena outed in utter embarrassment, burying her face in Dean's chest.

'No more,' Dean said holding a hand up to his, in so many ways, father, and closing his eyes trying to erase the mental image that came in his head.

Bobby retreated with a bouldering laugh, he was in his bed snoring under 10 min, the many bottles of beer and whiskey hadn't missed their effect.

Dean took Lena by the hand and led her through the kitchen door to the outside porch.

'Waw it's certainly a beautiful night,' she said a bit stunned at the beauty she could still appreciate after the horrible days they had had. She often missed noticing the little stuff, like a day where the sun would shine but it would still be cold or having lunch by the big fountain in the city where she used to live. She felt like she had lost part of herself, her days were oriented around this man, and she had vowed never to let that happen, and now she was counting the hours for when he would come home.

'Yeah it certainly is,'

Both went to sit down on the swing they had given Bobby last Christmas. Lena huddled close to her hero and sighed.

'What is it,' he said with a low voice.

'Nothing,'

'Talk to me babe,' he tried with a gentle push.

'I think I have never lived such a perfect moment in my entire life,' she replied, 'you going to run away scared now?'

'I have no idea where you get these stupid ideas.' He said smiling this honest smile reaching all the way to his eyes.

'You know what?' he asked.

'What?'

'I think I have never been happier in my life than those last two and a half years,'

Lena came back up so she could see his eyes, which were an unusual intense green thanks to the moonlight that brightened the entire neighbourhood.

'Are you serious,' she asked still scared of the answer, she bit her lower-lip.

He lifted his hand and touched her hair stroking down until he reached her neck.

'I am dead serious,' there was no smile on his face, only pure honesty and love was to be found in his eye.

He looked at her like he was memorizing every inch of her face, every delicate feature had to be marked in his memory. He realized in that instant that he might not survive if they'd break up or worse if something would happen to her. Though he had been scared for many, many years to ever be this close to one woman, he now welcomed the feeling and he finally understood what Sam was talking about when he first met Julie. Dean had always been in love with Lena but now he realized he had always truly loved her.

As their faces came closer, their eyes did not shut, waiting until the very last millisecond, not wanting to miss anything, they closed their eyes as their lips met, what started out as a soft lovely kiss turned into a passionate embrace, their bodies crept closer and closer together until no light could penetrate them.

'Dean, I love you.' She barely whispered, breathing heavily, leaning back from him for just a second. She wanted to place her lips back on his but he held her back.

'You know I love you too right?'

'Sometimes,'

'I love you more than life,' he breathed before he could no longer contain himself and pulled her as close as he could. Enveloping her with his jacket, they finally parted and watched the stars in silence.

She was lying on his chest listening to his heartbeat, while she was amazingly aware of his one hand on her shoulder, tracing lines over her upper-arm and the other in hers. A tear unwillingly escaped, crying out of happiness was a new emotion for her.

When Dean was too tired to hold his head up they went inside, abiding by Bobby's rules, this evening they had been more intimate with each other than sex could ever provide and they were satisfied to just look at one another and when Dean closed his eyes and fell in a deep sleep, Lena kept watching him, making sure no nightmares were haunting him and that he was happy and he truly was.

**********

'Julz,' Sam said in an exciting voice.

'What? What?' she reacted in panic and confused.

'Get dressed, quickly,' he commanded but not in a voice that announced danger in any way.

'Why? It's,' she took her cell phone looking at the time, '3.30 am!' she grunted.

'I promise you, this'll be good.'

Sam was already wearing his hoodie and his favourite jeans, he held up a sweater for Julie as she put on some pants and her shoes.

'What are you doing?' She whispered loudly.

'It's beautiful out here this time of year and I want to show you something,' he said withholding details.

He practically dragged her of the stairs.

'Waw, you're right it's beautiful outside,' she said when he had pushed her through the kitchen door.

'No, this is not it, come,' he said pulling her by her hand into the woods close by.

'Sam?'

'Yeah,' he said with the biggest boyish grin on his face.

'What are you doing? Are you possessed and taking me out to kill me?' she said a bit scared.

'No,' he huffed surprised at her erratic reaction.

He led the way through the trees, Julie didn't know if they were going in a straight line or if they were walking in circles. The moonlight was bright enough for Sam to navigate his way through but sometimes the coverage of foliage was so thick that it barely let any light in.

'That's exactly what a possessed person would say, you know,'

Sam grinned at his gorgeous fiancée, he didn't think the moonlight did her justice, she was the most beautiful woman in the world to him and according to him there should be permanent lights on her face so everyone could appreciate her delicate features and her natural beauty.

'Just hold on hunny, we're almost there. Anyone ever told you that patience is a virtue,'

'Yeah one guy tried to but he was too slow so I bolted,' she said sarcastically.

And all of a sudden Sam stopped in his tracks making Julie almost fall over, but then she saw it and he was right. She had never seen such a beautiful picture in her life, she felt like she had entered a fairytale by mistake.

The lake had the darkest of blues that existed and it reflected the close forest around it and in the middle a perfect picture of the moon. The only thing she heard was the wind racing through the trees and her own gasp. Sam still had her hand in hers and looked at her face, this is why he did stuff like this, Dean found it stupid to still make such an effort when it's obviously clear that both love each other deeply, but that wasn't the case for Sam, he wasn't proving his love or expressing himself, this was pure selfish because nothing made him happier than seeing his girl's eyes widen with amazement.

He let go of her hand and pulled a rope that was lying by his feet, a little boat crept closer and he wanted to get in but saw that Julie was still mesmerized.

'Come on hunny,' he said reaching for her hand.

'Sam, I, I...' she stumbled, 'I don't know what to say.'

'Nothing, just take my hand and get in the boat.'

She did as she was told, she wasn't the biggest fan of boat rides when the water was still wintery cold but she wasn't going to argue, if she fell in and died of the cold she would have died a happy woman.

Sam rowed the boat until the middle of the lake before he pulled in the rows and took a seat next to her, handing over the extra jacket he had.

'I am not cold, I'm alive!' she said exhilarated.

Both went to lie down and watched the starry night and the moon.

_Heaving heart is full of pain_

_Oooh, oooh, the aching_

_'Cause I'm kissing you, oooh_

_I'm kissing you, oooh_

'You remember our first kiss?' She asked while she was lying on his chest.

'How could I forget, there was so much static that when our lips met I actually felt an electric shock.'

Julie laughed at the memory, it had almost hurt, she had figured that the wool carpet and the rubber soles hadn't been the best idea.

'You know, Dean and I used to sneak out here when we were little,' he said, 'especially the hot days when Bobby was making us do homework. The moment he left the room we would be sprinting.'

'I can see it now, while you muttered Dean dragged you out,'

Sam laughed; 'yeah something like that.'

'And in the winter we'd play ice hockey, just the two of us.' He now said lost in his memories.

'That sounds like so much fun,'

'Yeah it was, probably the only good memories I have left of that so-called childhood.' He said with melancholy in his voice.

'Oh hunny,' Julie said comforting.

'I don't want that Julz, I don't want to do this anymore. I want to get on with my life and more importantly I want those around me to have a better life.'

'Calm down, don't make any rash decisions right now,'

Sam came to sit back up and Julie followed suit.

'This is not a rash decision,' he spoke calmly, 'I have been thinking about it for a while now, I don't want you to be in danger anymore, I don't want to have kids while I'm on the road with Dean. I don't want to miss anything. I want to be the one to discover your first grey hair. I want to change diapers, I want to cook you a meal sometimes, I want to choose the colour of our bedroom walls. I want a hometown. Don't you?'

The question was so prudent it stunned her, she didn't know what to say. Of course the thoughts had crossed her mind but they were barely behind the big 'what if'-door. She couldn't think of Sam without hunting, he was so good at it, he was made for it. But the thought of him being around made her happy in an instant. But she couldn't help but wonder, wouldn't he get bored? Would their relationship stand the rut of time? He needed the adrenaline pumping through his veins and she was pretty sure that litigating wasn't the way to do it.

'Sam, you love hunting, you're good at it, you'll regret this decision and if you'd be honest with yourself you would know that the white-picket fence would make your crazy.'

'I love you more, we'll never be average if that's what you are worried about,'

'You'll get sick of me, and what would we do for money? It wouldn't be exactly ethical to keep on with the creditcard scams when you're not doing a service and a teacher's salary wont cut it.'

'I'll get a job,'

'In a cubicle? With a yellow shirt and tight beige pants?'

'I hate beige,'

'I know you do,' she said.

'You want me on the road? Move every time the authorities get a whiff of us? Leaving the minute something comes up.'

'No, I don't want you on the road and I would want nothing more of you staying home, but the truth is I think you'll be tremendously unhappy. If you truly love someone you don't stand in their way, and that's what I'll do. Whatever you decide I'll be here, but think it through. Now you only see the bright side, but there are a lot of cons as well. I mean you'd become a hunter's brother.'

'What does that mean?'

'We, hunter's wives, call each other this way because we know what it's like; never knowing where he is, always waiting by the phone, jump up when the doorbell rings, wondering if you're hurt, being in constant stress. You'd be on the other side, you don't think Dean'll quit now do you?'

'I had no idea it was that bad,'

'Well it's bad, but it's definitely worth it. I have never regretted being with you,' she said looking straight into his eyes.

'Have I told you lately what an incredible woman you are?' He said amazed by this strong unbelievable intelligent woman sitting across from him.

'No, good thing I have a great memory,' she smiled.

Sam kissed her hard on the lips as his hand wiped away the hair in her face. He pulled her closer, he couldn't stand being a millimetre apart from her any longer, they fell back, rocking the boat and before Sam realized it he had accidently thrown Julie's shirt in the water, making them laugh in the cold silent night, abiding by Bobby's rules since they were outside the house.

_Touch me deep, pure and true_

_Give to me forever_

_'Cause I'm kissing you, oooh_

_I'm kissing you, oooh_

_Where are you now_

_Where are you now_

_'Cause I'm kissing you_

_I'm kissing you, oooh_

_

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_**You like? Leave a review.**


	7. Chapter 7 Around the Fire

**Hello everyone,**

**Songs you'll need: Praise You by Fatboy Slim and RHCP with Universally Speaking, hope you enjoy  
**

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Chapter 7: Around the fire

After breakfast the lot decided to hit the road, Sam and Julie couldn't wait to get back home and pick up their daily routine, and now Julie came to think of it, she had dozens of tests to grade before the Easter break came to an end. And Sam was going to get a head start on the weddingplans, they didn't want anything big but still something decent and not just run off to city hall in a mini-skirt and a pair of jeans. Though Dean had objected that he had to put on a tux, and Lena, being maid of honour, wasn't looking forward to one butt ugly, pink, fluffy dress, but the good friends they are, they folded to the wishes of the happy couple, well at least after Sam and Dean had resolved the issue the old fashioned way.

'Thanks again Bobby for a lovely evening and breakfast,'

'Aw Julie, you know you're always welcome here, it was my pleasure, don't be a stranger now,'

Julie was the third to leave the house as Sam and Lena were packing the cars.

'Can I talk to you for a minute?' Dean asked.

'Sure, what d'ya need?'

'Hunny I'll be right out,' he yelled while going back inside for a quick minute.

'Bobby, can you lend me the books on Dark Angel lore?'

'Dean what are you planning?' he asked shaking his head disapprovingly.

'I just want to know more that's all, I need to know Bobby.'

'Why? This girl is dead, she killed herself. And yes it is likely that one of those bastards was after her, but she could have just as easily been depressed by what she had done 10 years ago. Whatever the reason, she's gone and there's nothing more you can do.'

Dean didn't like to hear that there was nothing he could do, he could do anything if he put his mind to it. The fact that Bobby uttered those words only made the challenge bigger for him.

'Bobby, she was my friend, I need to know what happened to her, and god damned I'm gonna kill whomever did this to her! Don't you understand?'

Bobby sighed in defeat and handed him three books and some papers.

'This should tie you over, don't do anything stupid, don't ruin what you got out there,' Bobby said nodding towards the window where they saw the three others chatting and fooling around, 'don't be as foolish as your dad.'

The words hit home with Dean, he had tried so hard not to become like his father but now it seemed his stubbornness and obsession would do just that.

'Thanks Bobby,' he said before walking outside putting up a smile.

All of a sudden Dean did something that surprised everyone, maybe even himself, but he threw his keys to Sammy.

'What are you doing?' Sam asked stunned.

'I am letting you drive, I don't know if you noticed but it's like 80° and the Mustang is a convertible.'

Lena smiled as she laid the last hand in putting the hood down.

'Oh man,' Julie said in disappointment, 'I wanted to go with the Mustang.'

'Julz!' Sam said astounded by her reaction.

'Fine! I'll go with the Impala.'

'Well don't hurt yourself in excitement!'

'Woohoo I'm going with the bad airconditioned car where food has been living a life of its own under the seats for years, I am so glad to ride that last 7 hour stretch in the blistering heat without getting a tan. Hurray.' She said dryly and sarcastically making everyone laugh.

When the radio came on, on Lena's favourite radiostation, she switched it to the old 80s rock one. Dean noticed but also knew her well enough not to comment on it, he appreciated the gesture with all of his heart though. He looked at her with her hair tied in a rubber band and her shades on, enjoying the music, the sun and the drive.

'So, we got some time to kill,' Lena said.

'What did you have in mind,' he said lifting his eyebrows.

'Oh Dean, please like I can do that while driving! I am not as bendy as I seem you know!'

'Fine,' he said disgruntled.

'Tell me, what happened two nights ago, what you talked to Bobby about and what the hell happened to that poor girl.'

'I don't really want to get into it,'

'Dean, I dropped the subject yesterday because I didn't want to ruin the atmosphere but what the hell is going on. I demand to know, I'm the one that practically drove her to her death.'

'Well I got some good news, you didn't kill her, if I had gotten the call we wouldn't have made it on time. She called too late and was already far gone by then.'

Though Lena was sad to hear that there had been no chance of saving her at all, she also felt relieved for not having a hand in her death. In the back of her mind she still felt awful for making that woman's last two days a living hell.

'So what happened to her? Why did she kill herself?'

Dean sighed,

'Come on Dean you have to tell me, I don't ask much, never, but now I demand to know.'

Lena played a card that she had only used twice in their relationship. She never blamed him for not sharing and though she felt shut out she knew he dealt with things in a different way, every once in a while she could use it to her advantage. One time it was taking her out on a proper date with the whole shebang and the second was going with her to a high school reunion, Dean had hated both but had made sure that she had had a great time.

Dean looked down in shame, knowing his problems with intimacy.

'Fine, she was being chased by a dark angel,'

'A what now?'

'A mind manipulating thing, a high-levelled demon, Lucifer's right hands, angels gone bad. From what Bobby told us they apparently go after people focussing their minds on the bad things they had done in their lives and push them towards suicide, sending their souls straight to hell.'

'So where to was the detour?'

'Crossroads...'

'You made a deal??!!!' Lena yelled as her heart started to race.

'Will you let me finish, please!'

'Sorry,'

'We summoned a crossroads demon,'

Lena was shaking her head and pressing her lips together in one fine line out of anger.

'She told us that she was some sort of chosen one,' Dean went on, 'Allie made a deal ten years ago, a deal that shouldn't have been made because she is special or something and to rectify their mistake and still get her soul in hell they sent a dark angel on her ass.'

'What does that mean being a chosen one?'

'That part we haven't figured out yet, Bobby is working on it. The demon said they were like untouchable, made out of pure goodness or something.'

'So how do you kill the bastard?'

Dean was surprised at her reaction, he had expected the same reaction as Sam and Bobby from her but instead she was willing to fight for this girl, she had only talked to once, just because she knew what it meant to him. He was astounded at her bravery though he thought it was foolish just the same.

'Actually we're letting the case rest, Sam and Bobby think it's unnecessary to go after this thing. We can't safe her now.'

'What? So what? We can at least make sure that no one else falls to the same prey as that poor girl!'

'True but we don't know where it is, how many there are and how to kill it or even recognize it.' Dean surprisingly argued for the other side.

'So those books you brought in the car from Bobby without Sam noticing, has nothing to do with the dark angel?' she asked rhetorically.

'Yeah fine, I want to kill the SOB, you just don't mess with the Winchester's friends,'

Lena smirked, she knew he was thinking the same things as her but just wanted to keep her out of it.

'So, get cracking, come on, do some research while I drive.'

'Yes ma'am' he said with the biggest grin on his face, glad to have someone who supported him in every way. He got the books that were lying in the backseat.

'Dean, can I ask you something?' she asked carefully.

'Go ahead,'

'You and Allie, did you guys ever had a thing?'

Dean sighed, he knew he should have seen this one coming but he just hadn't thought about it.

'No, we kept in touch but she generally thought I was a nutjob, she thought the whole thing with the djinn was a bad dream. We had a moment when she was recovering in the hospital but it passed, I went and I never saw her again,'

'Too difficult?'

'Yeah you could say that.'

Lena decided to drop the subject as she heard the underlying tone in his voice, he had never loved talking about the djinn or the alternate reality. It still hurt him to think he could have been happy for those last years of his life and eventually die, not having to see his brother go darkside, not having to deal with Lilith, Henricksen, Bela, Ruby or the Twilight-hype... Every time he saw his brother exorcize a demon with his mind, getting a bloody nose and a headache he had wished he had taken the easy way out. Lena knew this subconsciously but she figured he would talk to her when he was ready.

She turned up the tunes while Dean was reading the ancient myths of dark angels.

'That's not 80s rock,' Dean remarked.

'Shut up and read, you might just want to listen to the lyrics,' Lena said smiling.

Dean smirked and read on.

_We've come a long long way together,_

_Through the hard times and the good,_

_I have to celebrate you baby,_

_I have to praise you like I should_

_I have to praise you_

_I have to praise you_

_I have to praise you_

_I have to praise you like I should_

**********

Sam didn't escape Julie's questioning either, though he tried so very hard, she wouldn't budge. He explained everything and left her baffled by the story.

'So, you all decided to let it go 'cause there's pretty much nothing you can do about the whole thing?'

'Yes.'

'Dean let it go?' she asked scrutinizing Sam's honesty.

'No of course not, he said he would but he thinks we just met, like I don't know that man like the back of my hand.'

'Yeah that sounds more logical, Dean letting something go, it almost cracks me up.'

'Look I don't care what he does, I am done, it's sad about the girl, really I feel for her but there's just nothing more we can do, we can't exactly bring her back to life now can we?'

'True, just do me a favour,'

'Anything,'

'Just keep an eye out for him, I don't want him doing anything stupid without some sort of back-up.'

'Of course, that's a given but I wont bring it up again until he does.'

Sam signalled at the turn-off, there was a small dinner and a gas station. Four hours in the Impala made him yearn for some fresh air. He saw in his rear-view mirror that the Mustang followed them off the exit.

**********

When they had eaten a fairly decent meal and Dean had had his beer they were heading back to the cars when both Lena and Julie's phone went off. That could only mean one thing.

'Hey Katie,' Julie said cheerful, glad to hear a voice that had nothing to do with hunting.

'Chris, how are ya?' Lena said just as cheerful.

The girls both chattered as Dean and Sam looked annoyed but still amused, perched on the Impala.

'I'll have to check, hold on,'

'Wait Chris, just have to check with Dean,'

Julie and Lena looked at each other, making sure they were talking about the same thing, they smiled in confirmation.

'The girls and their hubbies want to know if we'd like to go camping until the end of the weekend.' Julie said.

'I thought you had tests to grade?' Sam asked squinting his eyes.

'They can wait.' She said and Sam laughed in agreement.

Lena looked at Dean, who signalled her to give him the phone.

'Chris hold on, Dean wants to talk to you.' She said handing him the phone.

'Katie? Sam and I are in, yeah she's right here. I think she wants to come but apparently Dean wants to talk to Chris first. Hold on I'll give you the live feed,' she said setting the phone to speaker.

'Hey Chris, babe, you do know you have to bring liquor 'cause I want a rematch!'

The whole gang laughed remembering Dean's defeat to a poor, defenceless woman. They could even hear Katie's laugh through the phone.

'Yeah, sure, uhu,' Dean went on, 'I think they're in too, Katie's on the phone as well. Say can you pass me Andy for a second?'

'Hey Katie I guess you heard, we're all in see you in a couple,' Julie hung up the phone.

'Hey man, say I think our tents are still in your truck. Yeah that's what I thought. Can you bring another 'cause we wont be able to go home first. Yeah I bet Sam and Julz will appreciate that.' Dean laughed for an unknown reason, 'yeah sure, I'll see you in two hours, oh no, scratch that, we're driving behind Sam so make that three hours. Yeah sure, will do.'

Dean finally hung up the phone and all four of them were really looking forward to one of their infamous campingtrips.

_I have to praise you_

_I have to praise you_

_I have to praise you_

_I have to praise you like I should_

'Oh my God, this is so exciting, we haven't been all together since,' Lena paused, 'I think since the Christmas holiday. Christina totally whooped your ass with the eggnog.'

'Yeah yeah yeah, I remember!' he replied annoyed.

'So what have you got?'

'Not much actually, nothing we don't already know anyway. I did found a summoning ritual, but everything else is pretty obscure and there are languages that I just don't understand.'

'Like what, English?'

'Oh, are we being funny today?'

'Sorry, so that summoning ritual?'

'Well it requires a bunch of candles, some herbs and a chanting,'

'I feel a 'but' coming,'

'It needs eight people,'

Lena and Dean traded looks, they shook their heads.

'We can't ask them that, no no.'

'No, I agree. We wont ask them.'

They let the subject for what it was mulling over their own thoughts for the rest of the drive.

**********

When the three cars and the truck arrived all the women jumped out hugging each other, though they were an odd bunch they were a family on their own. The women had known each other for a long time now and the men looked at them in aw, they didn't understand this strange ritual where they hugged and kissed. They shook hands courteously.

'Didn't they see each other just two weeks ago?' Sam asked.

'Yeah, they did,' Chris, Katie's husband said.

'Then why all the commotion?' Dean wondered.

'Don't look at me, you know how they get! I have been trying to figure it out for years but these four, I have no idea.' Andy replied.

'Come on, man, help me get the tents out of the truck,' Andy slapped Dean on the back in a friendly way but Dean still had to put one foot forward to keep his balance.

The men put up the four tents in a circle and they were done when the sun was about to go down.

'Here, my big strong hero,' Julie handed Sam a beer and he accepted while the drips of sweat were roling down his face.

Dean was dragging logs to the campfire as Andy was setting up their invented barbeque.

'Who brought the meat?' Dean yelled hungry like a horse.

'I did!' Christina said in her velvet voice, parading in front of Dean with her cooler.

'Oh Chris, you're breaking my heart,' he growled.

Andy and Lena were used to the flirting between their partners and most of the time it was more amusing than threatening for the both of them.

'Sure you want to stay with that big bear?' He said nodding towards Andy.

'This bear will knock you out of your boots if you're not careful, small fry!'

'Hm I love it when he gets protective like that,' Chris chirped at Andy.

Lena turned on the engine of her car.

'You leavin' babe?' Dean asked innocently.

'Not yet, but I'm close,' she replied winking at him with a big smile.

When the radio came on she turned the engine back off and let the tunes accompany their meal in the woods.

_Still I waited the chance of a lifetime_

_Go and get her I got her on my mind_

_All the better the feeling it goes fine_

_Simply put I saw your love stream flow_

_Come on baby cause there's no name for_

_Give it up and I got what I came for_

_Universally speaking I_

_Take it back and you make me nervous_

_Nothing better than love and service_

_Universally speaking I_

_Went in the long run_

Sam and Julie had been quiet and were patiently awaiting dinner, while Sam was tousling around her hair and just enjoying the ambiance. He felt like he was at a free dinner theatre.

Chris and Katie were the same, they enjoyed each other and the ambiance. They were a special couple, Katie's eyes might wonder once in a while but they always ended up on her hubby. And Chris' eyes didn't wonder, not even for a second to other women, he would hardly get them off her as it was. There was so much love in them, he looked at her like he had won the lottery, like she was the most precious jewel in the box. They didn't had children yet, though they all figured that it was Katie's choice, she wanted more time just to enjoy her hubby. They resembled Julie and Sam as couple in many ways.

Christina and Andy had two beautiful girls, and she was supermom. When her youngest had found one her stepfather's books she had salted all the doors and windows, Chris didn't get mad, she just remarked that she had forgotten the back door, making her laugh as she exited the house on her way to work. Chris and Andy had found each other some what late in life, but nonetheless it was very apparent how they felt about each other.

Lena found it humbling to be around such perfect couples and always, always doubted her own relationship. She knew she and Dean had something special but frankly they didn't have much in common except for the hot-headedness; she liked nice things, travel and culture. She wasn't the outdoorsy girl you'd expect with Dean, she was a writer and not a very successful one and she hadn't had a meaningful relationship before him. She would try to suppress those thoughts, 'cause everything was going so great, but she couldn't help it and once in a while that box was opened.

Lena groaned as two big pieces of meat hit the bbq.

'Don't worry hun, I brought you a vegi one!' Christina said.

'And I brought fish!' Katie replied triumphantly.

'Oh! You guys are the best,'

Katie and Christina looked at each other; 'We know,' they said in unison.

There was more than enough food and even more booze to go around, after a couple of hours they were all pretty light-headed, even Julie who never really drank a lot. As requested Dean and Chris had their drinking competition, Dean did prevail eventually but more because of the fact that he had eaten twice as much as her to absorb the alcohol. She eventually gave up, to the grave disappointment of Julie, Katie and Lena, who liked seeing Dean get his ass kicked by a beautiful blonde who defied all prejudice against blondes. They all decided to switch to water and soda else they would have a very short and unconscious holiday.

'Okay Dean, come on you can't hold off any longer, you've tested my patience long enough!'

Dean laughed rolling his eyes at the guy's enthusiasm.

'Okay Andy, calm down, what do you want to know? We've got wendigoes, pagan gods or dark angels for ya'

'Your last hunt of course? Where did you just come from?'

Dean averted his eyes but Andy didn't take the silent hint from him, so Dean decided to give it a cheery spin.

'Alright so last week, we got a mysterious phone call from a girl named Allie,' Dean didn't say that they knew each other and he managed to make it sound so exciting that even Julie, Sam and Lena propped up to listen to this hero's story.

'When we got back from the wendigo, we called her back, but she didn't answer her phone. A million thoughts were running through our heads so we decided to take a roadtrip up to her house. The girls tagged along to do all the leg work for us,' he said smirking.

'What?! You took them and not me?'

'Look man, you don't have the power to kick us out of bed, we didn't exactly had a choice. By the way aren't you way too busy at work now?'

'Yeah, but I don't care! Those fuckers on the set can wait for their super electrician when I can do something important,' Andy had been working on sets for various movies and shows for years, he was very wanted in the biz and he liked his job very much, but when he heard the stories about the supernatural he knew those brothers were actually making a difference. He looked at them like two modest heroes, which they actually were.

'Okay fine next time I'll call you instantly,'

Upon hearing that, Christina was already devising a plan and an alliance to Lena, she'd give the head's up and Chris would disconnect every phone. She smiled at her own devious plan, and let her hubby think that he would ever go hunting.

'Good, so what happened to the girl?'

'Well, when we got there our brilliant research gal Julie, swiftly discovered that we were just in time for the funeral.'

Katie and Chris now completely enticed by the story too gasped. Katie made eye-contact with Julie, who confirmed the horrible events.

'What happened?' she asked.

'Sam and I went to the morgue and apparently she killed herself, which is pretty unusual in our line of business. We think she was just a very troubled young girl who could no longer take the pressure.' He said casting down his eyes.

'Then why did she call you? And what do dark angels or whatever have to do with this?' Andy asked confused, he had expected something special.

'You better tell the truth hunny,'

'Sam?' Dean asked making his brother continue the story.

'After some digging we ran into some inconsistencies, things didn't add up. We took a small detour, tortured a crossroads demon,' smiles returned to everyone's faces when they heard about the torture. Somehow when they heard stuff like that they imagined it like it was some horror-flick instead of really picturing Dean and Sam in a dangerous situation, torturing. Some part of their brains still didn't think those two loveable brothers were capable of torture.

'She told us that a dark angel was sent after her. And through mind manipulation he made her kill herself. That's pretty much it, we decided to drop it, since there's nothing more we can do.'

'What?' Andy asked in disbelief, 'nothing more you can do? This poor girl is dead and no one is looking out for her or getting whatever this thing is?' It hit home hard with Andy, his stepdaughter, Chris' daughter was about the same age and it just broke their hearts. You could see the fire in Chris' eyes that there was this thing forcing people to kill themselves.

'Look there's nothing more we can do, we don't know what they look like, how many there are, how to kill them.'

'That's not exactly true,' Lena said interrupting Sam softly.

'What?' he asked confused at why she was interrupting with six pairs of eyes on him instead of saying this in private.

'Lena, not now, it's not the time,'

'You're right,'

'No, no the cat is out of the bag. What the hell is going on and is there a way you can get this son of a bitch before it strikes again?' Katie surprisingly asked.

Lena looked at Dean pushing him to tell what he read instead of making her do it, he sighed and continued.

'We didn't found a lot of info but we did found a summoning ritual.'

'So why didn't you summon it?' Christina added.

'Cause it needs some stuff which we don't have.'

Sam was looking at his brother, he had no idea what was going through that mind of his at this moment. He had expected this from Dean but he hadn't expected it so soon, if anything he had hoped this trip would get his mind off of Allie and maybe even forget the whole ordeal.

'Like what,' Chris, who had been quiet for a long time now, asked.

'Nothing special just some herbs, candles, spraypaint.'

'Dean what aren't you telling us, I can see it your eyes!' Julie remarked now anxious to know what it was that Lena and Dean had been hiding from them for god knows how long.

'Okay fine, the summoning ritual needs eight people! You all happy?'

'Last time I checked, there are eight of us right here,' Andy said.

'I'm in,' Christina and Katie said at the same time.

'Fine,' Chris said a bit annoyed by the mysteriousness Dean had presented the situation.

'What? No, forget it. No one is summoning no one here. Dean what the hell are you thinking!!'

'Sam, hunny calm down.' Julie tried.

'What? No? What is wrong with you!' Sam got up yelling at his brother.

'Can it Sam, I'm not asking them to do anything. I agree with you we shouldn't do this!'

'I think we should,' Julie said silently, having observed everyone's reaction.

'We don't know how powerful this thing is and hell we're not doing this half-cocked!'

'We still have the knife,' Lena told Sam.

'And the colt,' Julie added.

The entire group knew what they referred to. They knew both weapons were very powerful against demons, and they had had the pleasure to admire the colt on different occasions, most of them Dean being drunk and showing off. Non timebo mala had been their toasting phrase.

'Both are not demon proof and you know that,'

'Yeah Sam, we do, we know a lot more than you give any of us credit for. For god's sake you met Julie on a hunt! Don't treat us as normal civilians. We deserve better. I don't see the danger, I only see the solution.'

Sam was gobsmacked for some reason he had hoped Lena to be on his side on this.

'We're all consenting adults here, you should let us make up our own mind.'

'Ever heard of informed consent Andy?' Sam was using his height to intimidate him but when Andy got to his feet they were about the same height and they were standing eye to eye., their noses almost touching. 'Because you are not informed, you don't know what is out there! You have no idea what we have seen, and please what you read on the internet doesn't hold a candle to what we see on a daily basis. We have been in this business for over two decades, so don't, please don't give me crap like consent 'cause that's like writing a blank check to a shady contractor.' Sam said with an attitude that made Andy shrink until he was just as big as his own thumb.

'Okay, okay, Rambo back off there,' Dean got in between the two men who both had a feet on him. Sam and Andy backed off and went to sit back down, while Dean took centre stage.

'Look, I appreciate all of your commitment, I do, but Sam is right. You need to know what is out there. Let's see we have both died at least once, apparently I have died over a hundred times but I don't quite remember, we have lost girlfriends, both our parents, some good friends. We have been in jail, we had to close the gates to hell and we saw the four horsemen bare-chested. Did I leave anything out Sammy?'

'Besides from dealing with angels and hell spawn at the same time you pretty much got it covered.' Sam said confidently but he forgot that they already knew most of the things the brothers had gone through and were pretty much set on thinking that they're indestructible. After all what they had been through, they were still here walking, talking, drinking and hunting. If Sam and Dean wanted to turn them off of summoning this thing one of them should have been death, for now they seemed perfectly alright to go forth, they were with the best hunters that had lived after Samuel Colt, that should count for something.

'Okay then let's take a vote,' Dean said.

'Christina, my favourite girl, don't let me down and more importantly don't let your children down.' He continued putting up his most charming face.

'Sorry Dean, I'm doing this for my kids and all the other children out there. We have to, she was just a girl.' She said averting her eyes, trying not to think about her eldest daughter and if she bestowed the same destiny as Allie. Dean sighed knowing she had a point.

'Katie? You have your quiet life in Boston, going out with friends, steady job, you don't want to jeopardize that now do you?'

'Actually, if I can handle a night on the town, drunk and in heels, this should be a walk in the park. I'm in.' She said laughing.

'Chris? Don't disappoint me, my man.'

'Sorry, I go where she goes.'

'I don't think I need to ask you,'

'Nope I'm in.' Andy said.

'Julz?' he said with a quiet voice rubbing his forehead, not liking where this was going at all, why did he have to hang out with such stubborn and strong-minded people.

'I am in,' she said with an apologetic look on her face.

Dean turned his back to the onlookers as he squatted down and came eye to eye with Lena, pleading silently to vote no.

'Hunny?' he asked in a scared little voice.

'I'm sorry,' she said putting a hand to his cheek, making him look down in disappointment.

'The I's have it, we're summoning this SOB and making sure he doesn't hurt another innocent.'

Though Dean was disappointed by the vote he knew that he had to be a leader and believe in every one of them otherwise they would all fall to prey to whatever was coming that night. He also knew they needed to prepare.

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**Please leave a review, it'll be much appreciated.**


	8. Chapter 8 Breathe

**No songs and no inroductions**

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Chapter 8: Breathe

The adrenaline was pumping through everyone's veins while Dean stepped up to the plate and evolved into a true leader.

'Okay so, Sam you get the candles, the herbs, the rabbit's feet, the snake's skin...' Dean paused flipping the page, '...and the graveyard dirt.'

Sam got up and walked to the Impala still bitter from the voting.

'The cars have to be moved, we're doing this a few miles up, I saw a clearing big enough. We'll leave everything but the necessities and if we're lucky we'll be able to hit the sack before dawn.'

They moved out and followed the Impala to the clearing Dean had envisioned.

No one knew exactly what Dean had in mind but he directed the cars like they were his orchestra, he was the conductor and the cars were his music. He placed them so that they would all be facing each other and the middle, which now became a giant lit opening. Dean was content and they all exited the cars leaving the headlights on.

'Where's our little artist?' Dean yelled a bit blinded by the lights.

'I'm here,' Julie answered coming forth.

'Here draw this,' he said tossing a book and some red spraypaint towards her, which she could barely catch.

'Katie, Christina, Lena, prepare the hex bags,'

'Yes sir,' they wanted to say this jokingly but it came out more officially and they now felt really a part of something big, and something other than their natural, boring lives, they felt like they belonged somewhere.

'Sam, Chris, Andy, huddle up,' the guys came to Dean and they were all handed a piece of paper with the chant on. While Andy and Chris stepped away a few feet, Sam finally found an opportunity to talk to his brother.

'Dean, we are nuts, we're putting six untrained people in danger!'

'Sam, I know okay, Lena shouldn't have said anything, I had hoped to gather around 7 other hunters but let's face it since Pamela no one has been eager to work with any of us. And well we couldn't keep them out of this, we tried.'

'We didn't try hard enough!'

'What do you want me to do? Flee the scene so the incantation can't take place?'

'No, look what if we just chant some Latin, something that doesn't have to mean anything, the fucker doesn't show up, we say we failed and that's it. We're done with all this madness.'

'Too late, I already gave Andy and Chris their parts of the chant, besides I am not going to lie. Look Sammy there are many things I'm willing to do, but lie to our best friends and not to mention our girls is just not one of them. They'll never forgive us!'

'Screw that, I'd rather have them angry than dead!'

'Drop it Sam, no one is dying, not now, not tonight, not on my watch! You got that?!' Dean was now yelling, making the others look up, but the brothers were out of earshot nonetheless.

Sam was humbled and knew that when it came down to it, Dean was the leader and he was a soldier that had to obey. He knew that the only way to make an operation like this work was a steady hierarchy, he might not like it but when Dean spoke in his alpha voice he couldn't disobey orders, he was trained to follow them.

**********

'So you're a hypocrite,' Christina noted looking at Lena.

'Why?'

'Look at you, scattering those bunny-bones,' Chris said jokingly.

'Haha, one time deal hunny, at least these didn't die in vain, they might end up saving a hell lot of lives,'

'Okay people,' Dean suddenly yelled. The girls tied the bags and everyone got closer to the middle of Julie's drawing in the grass. Lena looked in amazement, it was so huge, definitely around 750 square feet, she was impressed. They had worked together as a team and hitherto everything had gone great, they all knew who was boss and that they had to obey else the game would be over. To them it really was a game, a nightly adventure but none of them were really prepared for whatever would happen, none of them had experienced something supernatural, not even Julie whose entire family died because of it, she had gotten out just in time. Not that they didn't believe the stories the brothers once told, they did but it was so far form their own lives that it never really hit home. You could compare it with a war that is being fought far from your own bed, you know the horror and you sympathize but you don't really know.

'Okay everybody knows his incantation?' Dean said.

'Yes,' they all answered like a well-oiled machine.

'Okay Sam, where do you want us?'

'Dean and Lena, in front of the truck, Christina and Andy in front of the Impala, Julie and me in front of the Mustang, and Katie and Chris in front of the BMW,' Sam said putting away his compass.

'Okay, so Sam has the knife, I have the colt, everyone has their protection charms, I think we're set. Take your places.'

Dean didn't surprise himself by being the leader, neither did he enjoy the power, he just did what he was trained to do, it was in his blood and he thought nothing of it, though the others were impressed by his authority.

They all resumed their places, each of them blocking a headlight, which made it easier for them to see, the shadows that were cast by each of them in the clearing spelled out a giant black cross.

Lena and Dean commenced holding hands they spoke the first words of the incantation.

'_We call upon the four winds to summon evil in our midst_

_We present the East, power of Air and Invention,'_ and as they spoke these last words Dean bent down and buried the hexbag.

Christina and Andy continued, though Andy couldn't help but feeling a bit silly, but Chris believed enough for the both of them.

'_We call upon the four winds to summon evil in our midst_

_We present the South, power of Fire and Feeling.'_ They followed example and buried their hexbag.

'_We call upon the four winds to summon evil in our midst_

_We present the West, power of Water and Intuition_,' Sam and Julie said in perfect harmony, burying their hexbag together.

'_We call upon the four winds to summon evil in our midst_

_We present the North, power of Mother and Earth,'_ Katie and Chris finished quietly but with conviction and followed suit.

They now chanted in unison:

'_Spirits of air, fire, earth and sea_

_Converge to set the Angel free_

_In the wind we send this rhyme_

_Bring death before us before our time'_

They kept repeating the last part until the lights of the cars started to flicker and the candles flared up. Everybody held their breath and in their midst appeared a young, nice looking man with an Angelic smile.

'Isn't this a nice gathering, how much fun. But didn't your parents told you not the play with fire?' the man spoke.

'We want some answers,' Dean said firmly.

'This should be interesting,' the angel turned to the East and looked right into Dean's eyes reading his mind, 'Allie Lipton? Nice girl, she needed much incentive, I must say strong girl. It took six months to drive her to that ledge.'

'Was she yours, you son of a bitch,' Dean was fuming and he had a hard time keeping it together and not break the formation.

'Well,' he paused looking up to the sky and putting his hand to his chest, 'I don't like to brag but yes, yes she was,' he said smiling proudly wiping away an imaginary tear.

'You bastard, I'm going to kill you,' Dean said furiously.

'Yeah? You and what army chump? Winchester? The legendary Winchester, I must say I had expected more. You're nothing but feeble humans. No way in hell I'll ever bow down to you! You're a joke. Oh and by the way, those books you've been reading? Not exactly accurate, unfortunately, this little picture on the floor is beautiful but not effective.'

Dean now got scared and Lena felt it as his hand clutched around hers, he was scared that this wasn't going to end right and he was out of ideas how to destroy this thing. He felt weak and powerless and the others could feel it too, their united front was now nothing more than eight people watching their own backs.

The demon proved his point by flicking Lena thirty feet away with just a small gesture of his hand. Her head landed on a rock making her slip into unconsciousness. Dean saw a little red stream going down her cheek.

'Lena!' he yelled as he felt her hand yanked away from his.

He pulled out the colt aiming at the man's balls.

'Oh my I am so afraid now,' he said feigning excitement.

Dean pulled the trigger twice, but the angel just stood there catching the bullets in his chest.

'That tickled,' he said grinning widely.

'Sam!' Dean yelled.

Before the angel had time to turn around and face Sam the knife was already in its back.

'Now, that's not nice, if there's one thing I hate it's backstabbers.' He said grabbing Sam by the throat and lifting him up a few feet. Sam struggled to get free but it was an iron grip.

'Sam!' Julie yelled, scared now that the formation had been broken and Sam had entered the circle.

'Julie, stay put!' Dean yelled, 'Let him go or I swear...'

'Or what? Or you're going to bore me to death? Fine.' He threw Sam back in the direction where he came from but apart from hurting his back he was still in one piece, Julie immediately bowed down to him while the angel took out the knife and threw it back at them, not even aiming to hit one of them, he refocused his attention to Dean.

He attacked the demon with all the force he had, he had never felt so much adrenaline and he almost burst out of his skin out of anger.

'No, no Dean, I don't get physical with you unless you're naked.' He said jokingly and he pinned Dean down together with all the others.

'Well this is a bust, eight feeble humans, that's why you called me. And I thought we'd have a barby and drink. Such a disappointment.' The demon looked disapprovingly at Christina and Andy, shaking his head.

'My God, well not God but you know, you two are a walking billboard for lust and gluttony,' his eyes traced along Katie and Chris, he couldn't help but smile.

'My, my you have been a bad girl, I could push you in a matter of minutes.' He grinned at the prospect of Katie haning herself from a tree. Chris grasped her hand even tighter pulling her behind him, whatever this thing was going to do it'll have to go through him to get to her, but it wasn't effective the both of them were pinned down and couldn't move.

He let his eyes wonder to Sam and Julie, and for a moment the joking disappeared and he became honest and utterly happy.

'This is unbelievable, this can not be,' he said coming closer to the couple, only envisioning Julie.

'You search your whole existence for this and only once every century you are lucky to find one, and now after only two weeks I find another one?'

No one knew what was going on or what he was talking about definitely not Julie. But he was so fixated on her that they all felt that this was their way to escape, Dean could feel a little movement but not enough to get him walking.

The demon closed in on Julie as Sam struggled so hard to block her from his view, but he couldn't move, not even an inch.

'You don't know do you?' the angel continued, 'You are so beautiful and precious, you'll be the crown jewel to my work.' He said while he stroked her cheek, she looked away in disgust but she couldn't run or do anything besides turning her head.

'Stop it,' Sam almost heaved as he saw the angel feeling up his girl.

The angel just shushed him and continued caressing her, she turned her head as far as she could while tears sprung into her eyes, then he kissed her full on her lips. She was so afraid and embarrassed, she couldn't look Sam in the eyes anymore and she felt sick to her stomach.

'Okay enough playing 'cause you and me we'll have fun later, first things first.'

The demon scanned Julie's head and found what he needed.

No one now could follow what was going on between the demon and Julie, the only thing they could hear now were her screams building up, and her crying became more apparent.

'Julie it's not real, he's playing with your head, don't let him get to you,' Sam told her over and over again, trying to get through, trying to look into her eyes.

'He's right,' she cried, 'it's all my fault, it's all my fault,'

'No it's not Julie, he's messing with your head, listen to me! Listen to my voice. It's not real.'

Christina, Andy, Katie and Chris witnessed the scene from afar and watching their friend break down like that brought on an excruciating pain. They heard the desperation and love in Sam's voice but saw that it didn't get through to Julie, Chris could no longer hold it together as she cried Julie's name. Katie joined trying to get her attention but it had no effect.

'I killed my family, I made you want to stop hunting, I am a danger to Felix, I am not good for this world, it's all my fault, it's all my fault.'

Sam yelled at her crying in his own agony, he couldn't stand seeing his girl in so much pain and self-loathing. He thought she was the most amazing woman on earth and here she was denying all that he had ever felt for her, denying every feeling they had shared in the past three years, tears started to roll down his face.

Dean heard the voices in the background but he was focused on Lena who was still not waking up even though he had called her name many times. His heart was racing going through the worst-case scenarios in his head.

The angel started smiling as he knew he was succeeding. They all, besides Lena, saw Julie reaching for the knife that had been planted in the angel's back, she lifted it as she suddenly stopped crying, she could hardly see with the water in her eyes, suddenly they shifted from absolute despair to certainty as she held the knife high, Sam yelled one more time to get through to his fiancée, his best friend, his lover, his girlfriend, the love of his life but to no avail. She planted the knife in her stomach and twisted it, not even screaming in pain, she collapsed next to Sam.

'I'm sorry Sam, it's my fault,' she whispered.

'It's okay,' he whispered sniffing through the tears finding his hand suddenly free to move and stroking her face, 'I love you so, so much, I'm going to make this better, I promise,' he said while tears welled up in his eyes again, 'just hold on,' his voice cracked. He couldn't handle this, not again, not after all he had been through.

She looked into his eyes and pushed out her last breath of air and then she was gone.

Katie and Chris broke out in tears as they had witnessed the scene in front of them, they felt so useless as they were fifty feet away from each other and their friend, the pain that came over them could not be described by words. They had loved Julie for so long and it was like parts of themselves had been ripped out by a butter-knife. Dean was broken, he had seen his brother in pain and agony before but this was different, the moment Julie closed her eyes it was as if she had taken Sam away with her. He could no longer see the spirit and soul in his brother's eyes and he didn't even know if Lena was going to make it.

Sam found the strength to stand up again, apparently no longer under the angel's powers and as he rose to his feet a shimmer of fear passed through the eyes of the angel.

'Well this was fun, thanks for the invite,' he said and before any of them could do anything he disappeared just as quickly as he has showed. Leaving behind a wreckage of broken hearts and spirits. They had gone to war, they had seen the horror and things that had seemed so distant were now so close, they had lost and their lives would never be the same again.

Sam got on to his knees and started CPR. Katie and Chris ran over to Julie clutching each other's hands, when they came face to face with one of their worst nightmares it didn't felt real. They kneeled next to her as Sam was trying to get her heart going again.

Dean saw what his brother was trying to do and he hurried to Lena, he grabbed her hand and barely found a pulse, putting his ear next to her mouth he heard a very superficial breathing. He needed to get her to a hospital now. He picked her up carefully and put her in the Mustang. He didn't know what to do anymore, treat his girlfriend or support his brother. He decided that Lena was now a priority and he resumed leadership over the group.

'Andy, call 911 and tell them to meet us on the highway!' he yelled and Andy rapidly obeyed and reached for his phone.

'Sam, get Julie in the Impala, we need to go to the hospital now!'

Sam did as he was told, but holding the dead body of his fiancée in his arms was one of the worst feelings he had ever experienced, trying to bite away the tears he laid her carefully in the Impala.

The others got into the cars as well and they left speeding towards the highway. When the four cars arrived there were already two ambulances waiting.

Dean got out, trying to get Lena out as carefully as he could.

'What happened,' the paramedic asked.

'She hit her head on a rock, pretty nasty fall,' Dean said hurrying the words out of his mouth.

'How long has she been out?'

'Forty-five minutes maybe?'

The paramedic looked confused at why they had waited so long before calling for help.

They mounted the ambulance and Dean glanced back to the other where Sam was explaining what had happened to Julie. He felt so bad for not being there and lying for him so he could concentrate on her but at this moment he just had to be selfish.

Katie took the Mustang and Christina took the Impala ready to move when the ambulances did.

Once the ambulances departed and Dean could hear the monitor of Lena's slowing heartbeat he broke down into tears. He had loved Julie, from the first moment she had walked into their lives she had made them better. He had never seen his brother that happy and he saw how right they were for each other. He had loved the laughter that she had brought to their lives and he had loved that she had brought Lena into his. They made a perfect foursome together. He couldn't imagine going a week without hearing Julie's voice, or her warmth, or her big heart. He tried to remember the joyful girl she was and not the mess she had been the last hour, he wanted to erase the images of her all bloody and crying. He didn't understand, how she could have been pushed to kill herself. It was all his fault, he couldn't let this obsession go, it was his fault she was dead. Dean cried and cried while holding his hand's in Lena's.

Two nurses were trying to resuscitate Julie in the ambulance but the monitor didn't pick up a heartbeat, Sam was silent and exhausted he just stared at the monitor shivering and praying that it would pick up the faintest sign of life. Eventually the praying paid off and the monitor did register a beating heart, Sam's own heart swelled with hope. In the hospital they immediately rushed her into the OR ,a long time after Sam had seen his girl disappear behind two big electric doors two doctors came back taking off their operating caps and Sam knew what this meant, the monitor lost the only sign of life and it would never pick it up again. Sam stayed silent sitting in his chair his lips resting on his praying hands.

'I am sorry to ask you this,' the doctor tries, 'but Julie had a certificate that said she wanted to be an organ donor, you being her medical proxy still get the final say in this matter. She still has some strong vitals, even her heart can be used...' Sam interrupted the doctor, 'she would want you to take whatever is useful, go ahead,' he said with a voice that was so flat that it stunned the doctor. He got up and left Sam in the dull blue family room, wishing his brother was there, wishing Julie was there.

The doctors had been scared for Lena, she had fallen into a coma and the only way out was if she came out herself. Luckily she woke up three days later, surrounded by Dean, Katie and Christina she opened her eyes. She looked around.

'Hi,' she said her voice cracked.

'Thank God, you're awake,' Dean rushed over to her side and smiled for the first time in four days though it didn't reach his eyes, which were red and looked tired. Lena took one look and panic came across her face.

'Calm down, let me get you a nurse,'

'No, no, no! Where is she?' she asked in disbelief and terror.

'I'm sorry,' Dean whispered tears welling up, as she saw Katie and Chris hugging each other silently.

'No, no!' Lena had felt it, she had felt Julie's disappearance in the clearance but she didn't belief it. She didn't understand why but she knew the minute she woke up that something was wrong.

'Please leave me alone,' she asked of her friends.

They nodded and exited the room after they had patted her bed and hugged her.

'You too Dean,' she said looking away from him staring through the window, the weather had changed from sun to rain.

'I'm not leaving,' he said clutching her hand.

'I don't feel like arguing, not now, just go, please!' she pulled her hand back from his and placed it into her own, leaving Dean no option but to leave.

As soon as she heard the door close she broke down in tears. She couldn't believe her best friend had left without saying goodbye, she was so angry and sad at the same time. It was her fault, she was the one who came up with the summoning, she was the one who uttered that they should do it, she had stood up to Sam though he knew it would be dangerous through the lack of knowledge. It was her fault that she was dead, she now had lost the last person she called family. She couldn't bare the grief and cried until a nurse, noticing her high heart rate, came in and gave her a sedative, it was a large black woman and for a minute she took a seat next to Lena's bed, caressing her forehead and shushing her while the drugs kicked in. Lena fell asleep hoping to never wake up again but then morning came and she did.


	9. Chapter 9 Fault

**I hope you all liked Julie enough to feel sorry for Sam, else I didn't do my job well ;-)**

**Songs used: Letting the Cables Sleep by Bush (personal fav) and Grace by Kate Havnevik (can't believe I'm saying this but thank Grey's for Havnevik)  
**

* * *

Chapter 9: Fault

It was a beautiful day out when they put Julie in her final resting place, there were many people, many Sam didn't know, many he didn't know she knew. He stood upfront together with Bruno, his wife and little Felix, behind them were Christina, Andy, Katie, Chris and Dean. Though Lena was now home and released from hospital, she wasn't fit enough to attend the funeral. Dean kept a close eye on his brother, he was wondering where the tears were, he hadn't seen Sam cry after the events in the woods, not one tear. He worried, his behaviours weren't like Sam at all. He didn't try and make a deal, he didn't go OCD, he didn't went on a killing spree, he did nothing. On the one hand Dean was grateful that he hadn't had to stop his brother from doing anything stupid but on the other he was scared shitless that the person in front of him was no longer his brother.

When the funeral was over Sam got up and walked to his car in a straight line, ignoring the attendees who wanted to offer him their condolences, ignoring his friends who worried, ignoring his brother who tried to get through to him. There was one thing he couldn't ignore, when he almost reached his car he heard a scared little voice behind him.

'Uncle Sam?' it said.

Sam turned around and saw little Felix run up to him and jump in his arms. Sam was taken aback, he didn't know what to do. And the moment he looked in those big blue eyes he saw Julie's, her little nephew resembled her in so many ways that it pained Sam just to hold him.

'Auntie Julie in heaven now?' the little boy asked.

'Yes,' Sam could barely utter the word as he knew it was a blatant lie, he didn't know where she was.

Sam saw Bruno and swiftly handed over the kid, he got into the car driving off at a high speed, getting away from the cemetery, from everything and everyone.

Dean saw Sam's Volvo taking off, he decided that Sam just needed some time and that he should go home and take care of his girl. He said his goodbyes to their friends, who all send their well-wishes with Dean back to Lena.

**********

When he entered the house all was quiet and dark, though it was past 1pm, Lena hadn't bothered to get up. He dropped his keys by the door and silently made his way upstairs. The image of the room was depressing, he saw Lena in a foetal position on the bed with the curtains still drawn and four orange containers on her nightstand.

'Hi, I'm back?' he said.

'Hi,' she said drowsy, 'how was it?'

'Horrible, Julie was very loved, which only made it more painful,' Dean replied with a hoarse voice.

'Okay,' she replied, closing her eyes, praying to fall asleep again.

Dean took off his jacket and shoes and threw the tie in the corner, he went to the bed, lying next to her, enveloping the frail, harmed body into his arms, he hugged her tight. But she resisted and got up, closing the bathroom door behind her. She couldn't trust herself, she knew that she wouldn't be able to hold it together when Dean was being so supportive. She hadn't allowed anyone to touch her since the nurse in the hospital. The only things going through her mind were that it was her fault, over and over again. She had been stupid and ignorant thinking they would be able to handle a dark angel, and now she had lost her friend because of it. She leaned against the door, wretched with guilt she put her head between her legs trying to breathe again.

_You in the dark_

_You in the pain_

_You on the run_

_Living a hell_

_Living your ghost_

_Living your end_

_Never seem to get in the place that I belong_

_Dont wanna lose the time_

_Lose the time to come_

Three weeks later Lena had found the strength to get up, shower and get dressed everyday before 2pm. Dean still felt like he was living with a ghost, she was just a shimmer from the person she once was. He had tried to bring Katie and Christina over but they had been just as heart-broken as she was. Katie, Chris and Lena had tried to continue their Thursday night dinners routine but when they saw the empty seat across from Katie, they had all made excuses about deadlines and sick children needing their mommy. The truth was none of them were ready to pick up their normal lives like nothing had happened, none of them were even ready to face each other knowing that their fourth partner in crime wouldn't show up that night or any other.

Dean had left Sam alone for a while thinking he needed the time, he tried to call a couple of times but Sam wouldn't answer and when he drove by the house it all seemed quiet and even deserted. After three weeks he figured that it was enough, Julie wouldn't have wanted everyone to stop with their lives, she would want them to move on, she would want to see them happy, that's who she was. She always put others before herself, she was happy when everyone around her was happy, and most importantly when Sam was happy.

'How's Sam?' Lena suddenly asked out of the blue, like she still knew what Dean was thinking. It was the first thing she said to Dean without any incentive from him and he was a bit relieved.

'Don't know, he doesn't pick up his phone and he doesn't answer the door,' Dean said with desperation in his voice, 'honestly I don't know what to do,'

'You should get over there, he needs you.' She said getting up putting her bowl in the dishwasher.

'Yeah I will,'

'Don't take no for an answer, break in if you have to.' She added.

Dean got up and he tried to hug her.

'No Dean please don't, I'm not in the mood.' But Dean didn't budge.

'What? Can't I hug my girlfriend for once?' He said smelling her hair.

'Not now okay,'

Dean just tightened his grip.

'What are you doing?' She said feeling her tears well up and getting weak in the knees.

'I'm breaking in,' he said not loosening his hold.

But she found a way to wiggle out of his iron man clutch and she made her way upstairs.

'Your publisher called again,' Dean sighed in defeat looking at her walking away from him.

She didn't stop and kept walking upstairs, ignoring Dean and the rest of the world.

**********

After the encounter with Felix, Sam had gone back to the house that they once shared. He had packed his bag and had taken one last look at the place he had called home before getting into his car and driving off, never expecting to return again.

Everything in that house had reminded him of a time where they were both happy and content. He couldn't handle the constant reminders of what he had lost and he had driven like a madman up north, stopping at every crossroad he knew, but no demon showed. He was lost he saw no more place for him in this world, a world where he knew she didn't existed. He scoured every occult library on his way to nowhere and he had even been reading Greek necromancy. But it was no use, he didn't want to go down that road.

The scenery changed gradually as he passed the different states, he had decided to take the road along the coast because Julie loved the ocean so much, passing Rhode Island, Massachusetts, Maine until he eventually reached the sign he was longing to see; "Welcome to Canada".

He didn't quite understand why he went up there, he thought he was running away from his memories but in fact he was seeking ways to get closer to her. He kept driving until he entered St-Leonard. Julie had grown up there and for some reason they hadn't been back since the horrible events of nearly three years ago. He drove down Rue Dupont and when he saw the Daigle's Motel his heart just stopped. He hadn't expected such an erratic feeling but he honestly couldn't breath by the sight of it. He turned into the parking lot and decided to get a room here.

He walked into the reception and to his own surprise it was the same desk clerk as before who greeted him.

'Mr Tyler?' he asked.

'What?' Sam asked confused.

'Oh I'm sorry, thought I'd recognized you. Didn't you check in here with a young girl about a while ago, boy it must have been what?' the clerk said.

'Nearly three years ago. Yeah,'

'I knew it!' he said triumphantly, 'I never forget a face! So how are ya mate, where's the chick? She ditched you?'

'Something like that,' Sam said biting his tongue trying not to rip him apart for calling her fowl.

'So a queen huh?'

'Actually is it possible to get room 14, for old time's sake?'

'Euhm,' the clerk said going through his booking papers, 'yeah sure it's available.'

Sam put down a wad of cash stunning the old man.

'Make sure I'm not disturbed.' He added, walking away.

When Sam stood in front of that door he couldn't remember what he was doing here. Julie and him had spent their first night together here. He remembered pushing her up against this very door, a dirty red door, and unlocking it without breaking the kiss. Sam opened the door and saw that everything was still in the same place, he didn't know what he was expecting, maybe he was hoping to see Julie on the bed waiting for him like she did back then. Sam locked the door behind him and left the drapes closed. He went over to the bed trying to find some evidence that they were once here, that they were once happy, that she once existed. He found it on the carpet. In a moment of passion she had thrown his shirt in the direction of an opened bottle of Merlot, the red wine stains were still there. He didn't know how to feel should he be happy or just really grossed out.

Sam had rented the room for over a month and he pretty much stayed there, sleeping most of the time. But once in a while he went out. He went to find Julie's old house, he remembered that there was not much left after the fire but it still hurt like hell that they had put down a soulless bungalow, plain and boring, there was no evidence of her. He passed by _La Bonne Assiette_, the first restaurant he had taken her too but the place had changed and he found no evidence of her.

Everything in that little town remembered him of her but the town had forgotten.

_I'm on my knees_

_only memories_

_are left for me to hold_

_Don't know how_

_but Ill get by_

_Slowly pull myself together_

_There's no escape_

_So keep me safe_

_This feels so unreal_

Sam had been camped out in the room for two weeks undisturbed, he had been drinking, passing out and repeating the process. He had been staring at the crack in the ceiling for hours and hours, not thinking about anything but that crack, he was slowly slipping into oblivion when he heard a harsh knock on the door.

'Leave!' he yelled.

'Roomservice, I got fresh towels!' the other side yelled.

'Go away!'

Sam heard his lock being picked and saw a dark shade enter.

'Are you deaf, I don't need towels just leave,' he said squinting his eyes against the light.

Dean's heart broke when he saw the state his brother was in.

'It's me Sam,' he said.

Sam got up, a bit wobbly on his feet, Dean rushed to his side to support his brother, who only pushed him off.

'What are you doing here?' Sam said walking over to the small table opening a bottle of Walker Red Label.

'What d'ya think? Bit early for whiskey don't you think?'

'Why? What time is it?'

'It's about 10am,'

'Sounds about right to me,' he replied taking a swig from the bottle.

Dean went over to his brother and flicked on a small light by the bed.

'Sam, it's time for you to come home,'

'I don't have a home.' He exclaimed swinging the bottle violently.

Dean got the bottle out of his hand but Sam didn't let go without a struggle.

'C'mon man, let me help you,' Dean said laying a hand on his brother's shoulder.

'I don't need your help, I'm fine, just go,' Sam said shaking of the hand, turning his back on Dean.

'No you're not, and you can't be!' he yelled.

Sam turned around and anger was flaming in his eyes.

'How do you know? How the fuck do you know how I feel!'

'I think I can imagine,'

'Yeah!? You think! I seriously doubt that,' Sam was now using his menacing height to intimidate his brother but Dean had lived with his height for over two decades so he was not impressed.

'You just lost the love of your life, you are wretched inside, you don't know if you can live on, you don't know what to do know and more so you have know idea where Julie is, am I close?!' Dean yelled.

'You forgot that I put her there, she is dead because of me, because of what I do!' Sam yelled at his brother biting back the tears welling up in his eyes for the first time since the woods.

'It's not your fault!'

'Yes it is,' Sam broke down, he no longer had the strength to stand on his feet as he heard himself say the words, he fell to his knees in despair, 'she's gone because of me, it should've been me! It should've been me.'

Dean rushed over to his brother as he saw him crumble to the floor, he held him trying to calm him down but the tears streaking his face were not to be stopped.

'She was innocent, she had nothing to do with all of this,'

'It's not your fault, it was an accident, we didn't know, no one knew.'

Sam was devastated and for the first time since the events in the woods he showed it, he cried in his brother's arms while Dean kept repeating that it wasn't his fault. Dean also broken with the loss of his friend cried silently with his brother. He couldn't answer the tough questions, he didn't know how to go on either. Trying to soothe his brother he rocked him back and forth.

_Come what may_

_I wont fade away_

_But I know I might change_

_Nothing comes easily_

_Fill this empty space_

_Nothing is like it was_

_Turn my grief to grace_

_Nothing comes easily_

_Where do I begin?_

_Nothing can bring me peace_

_Ive lost everything_

_I just want to feel your embrace_

Dean rocked his little brother hoping he would finally come to terms with his grief, but he was mistaken Sam got more and more angry.

'Yeah, you're right it wasn't my fault,' he suddenly said, 'I tried to stop the foolishness but you wanted to carry on! It's your fault! Julie didn't deserve to die, not like that! And we're still no step closer than we were before, only now we know the thing is invincible. Now tell me how are you gonna make this alright!?' Sam yelled and cried in anger.

Dean couldn't answer, he was taken aback by the truth Sam had spoken. The words penetrated him to his very core and they hurt more than being dragged around by a wendigo. His own brother resented him. Dean let his brother go and took two paces back.

'I'm sorry, Sam, I miss her too, you're right, it was my fault.'

Hearing the confirmation from Dean only made Sam even more livid, he stood up and he held up his hand and without even touching Dean he pinned him to the wall.

Sam lowered his hand, breathing heavily, Dean dropped to the floor, neither of them understood what just happened. Sam felt the power rushing through his veins and a splitting headache made its entrance.

He fell back on the bed and he looked at his hands, he saw Dean get up and making his way over but he froze in his step.

'Dean?' He asked. But he didn't answer or move, he was frozen silent.

'We need to talk Sam,' a husky voice said from behind him.

'Castiel, what are you doing here?'

'I'm here to give you some answers.'

'Yeah?' Sam said sarcastically, 'boy I really want to know what you have got to say. Where were you three weeks ago? I prayed!'

'Sam, you're hurting, I don't understand your human feelings but I've been told that sarcasm is a defence system. Are you afraid of me?'

'Just spit it out Cas, why are you here?'

'I'm here about Julie,'

Sam's heart fluttered as he got up to his feet looking Castiel in the eyes, a spark of hope crossed his mind, silently he prayed for a miracle.

'Can you bring her back?' he asked his voice drenched anticipation.

'Not exactly, that's not why I'm here, she is lost for heaven you know that,'

'Then go away,' Sam sighed in despair.

'You have to know something Sam, you have to know who she was,'

'I know who she was, she was my best friend, my fiancée, my world. More than that she was a great person, she wouldn't hurt a fly and she was smacked down by evil,'

'She was even more than that. She was a chosen one,'

'What the fuck does that mean! I'm so sick of this supernatural crap, she was just an innocent girl who didn't deserve to go, not like that,'

Castiel walked over to Sam's side of the bed as he pulled up a chair and took a seat.

'Julie was chosen to become one of us, she was to become an Angel of the Lord, she wasn't just a feeble human, she was a powerful girl with only good in her, she was destined to become one of us,'

'What? Why was she chosen?'

'We don't know that, there are different kinds of Angels Sam, you have the ones who have been up there for all eternity and those who start out as humans and eventually die and evolve to become one, those are the chosen ones.'

'Why was the dark angel after her?'

'We can't kill dark angels because we don't recognize them, we see them as humans, dark angels can't kill us, so they try to kill those who are to become one, they try to prevent our galleon from expanding, we try and do the same, we kill those humans who are evil inside. We knew about Allie but we didn't know about Julie until just know.'

'What do you mean,' Sam sniffed.

'When did you loose your powers Sam?' Castiel asked.

'I don't know, right after we prevented the apocalypse and Ruby died,'

'That's what we thought but couldn't find a logical explanation for it, now we know. You lost your powers the moment you kissed Julie, her innate goodness cancelled out your bad blood. You were yin and yang, meant for each other and perfectly balanced in harmony.' Sam now remembered the electricity that had been in their first kiss.

'You're saying that I'm evil and she is good and that we cancelled each other out into neutral?' Sam asked not believing the crap Cas was feeding him.

'Yes Sam, something like that, your love was on a more divine level than on a human level.'

'So now what am I supposed to do?' he asked turning his head towards Castiel his eyes pleading for help.

'Despite all odds and your destiny you have proved to be a great asset to our side. Both you and your brother have done more and gone further than we would have dared to ask. I have been given the power to give you a choice.'

* * *

**Review please, it is much appreciated...**


	10. Chapter 10 Choices

**We're nearing the end of this FF only 2 more chapters left, granted the last is a bit bigger than I had anticipated.**

**Songs used: Stop Crying Your Heart Out by Oasis (thank you Butterfly Effect)  
**

* * *

Chapter 10: Choices

'A choice?' Sam asked confused.

'Yes Sam, we feel you deserve an out, we haven't offered it to you as you seemed content at the time so now is the time to offer you this,'

'Offer me what?'

'A life without the supernatural, take a walk with me,' Cas said with a little smile on his Angelic face.

Sam stood up and Castiel took him by the arm.

'This is what I am offering you,'

The room spun around, making Sam dizzy, and they were no longer in the St-Leonard motel room with Dean. Sam saw himself, lying in a hospital bed with a brown-haired woman holding his hand and sleeping by his side, his heart jumped he wanted to see who she was.

'No Sam, not yet, this is just the trailer, the preview if you will, you can't interact, just watch,'

'Where are we and what am I doing in the hospital?'

'We are in California and you got run over by a minivan.'

*

'Hey,' Sam said to the woman who was holding his hand.

'Sammy, you're awake,' she said looking up.

'Since when do you call me Sammy?' Sam coughed.

'I don't know, must have picked that up somewhere. Weird.' She grinned.

*

Sam could now clearly see who she was.

'Why is Lena here?' he asked Castiel.

'You and her stayed good friends. You offered her a shoulder when she needed it'

'How?'

'She and Dean dated for a while but he eventually cheated on her with a woman called Sherri, he doesn't know what love is, you never showed him and he never realized how much Lena really meant to him.'

Sam rolled his eyes and shook his head disapprovingly at the idea of Dean cheating.

*

'Where are my parents?' Sam asked Lena.

'They're down in the cafeteria, your dad got hungry again. How are you feeling?' she said putting a hand on his forehead, 'you gave us a big scare hun.'

'Sorry about that, I'm fine.'

'Since when do you cross a street recklessly, you never do anything recklessly.'

'I don't remember.'

'Hunny? You're okay!' A voice chirped entering the room.

*

'Mum?' Sam breathed, astounded by the beauty of his mother as he saw her alive and well prancing around, her hand permanently glued into John's.

*

'Good to see you awake, boy,' John said hitting his son on the leg.

'Mum stop it, I'm fine,' Marie finally stopped kissing her son over and over again.

*

'Your mum and dad never went into hunting, no deals were made, not for you, not for your father,' Castiel said, 'this is what a life without the supernatural would look like. All the people your family saved are still saved we wont take anything away. You deserve a break Sam.'

'Then where's Jess? We never had the housefire.'

'No no, she's alive and well, having her second child I believe. After college you and her realized you both wanted different things and you split up as friends. You never proposed.'

Sam found this information oddly comforting.

Sam noticed the lack of flowers and get-well cards, there were hardly any. He remembered being at the hospital about 18 months ago because he got beaten up by a skinwalker and the room was full of flowers, cards and people. Sam read the printed card on one of the two flower bouquets that were there. It said: _'Get well soon, from your colleagues at Benson and Partners Law firm'_

'Where's Dean?' he asked.

'Probably not where he is supposed to be but we'll see.'

Sam frowned, having no idea what Cas meant by that.

The room spun again as they moved towards a totally different scene, Sam saw his brother out cold on a dirty couch, clothes lying around and even more beer bottles.

'What's wrong with him?'

'If he's not waking up between now and ten minutes he's going to get fired again,'

'I mean why is he passed out from the booze?'

'Oh that, well your brother doesn't really have a direction in his life, studying wasn't his thing so he drifts from one temp job to the other, I guess the alcohol helps with the tediousness, let's make sure he doesn't get fired today shall we,'

Castiel clapped his hands twice making the alarm clock go off in a frenzy.

Dean got up with a horrible headache, one glance at the clock told him he was running late, again. So without changing clothes or even brushing his teeth he dashed off out the door.

'Let's trail him,' Cas said, him and Sam joined Dean and saw him getting into a rusty old Mercedes. Dean was swearing at the car for not starting.

'Where's the Impala?' Sam asked.

'Dean never went back in time to suggest the Impala to John, he got the VW van instead, it crapped out after a decade, both never developed an extreme fondness for cars,'

**********

When Sam saw Dean at work he really felt bad for his brother, but he couldn't suppress a smirk either.

'This is Dean Winchester from Telecom Invest, can I interest you in better rates for long-distance phone calls even international ones?' frustrated Dean hung up the phone and dialled another number and repeated the phrase.

'Winchester?' a younger man yelled in amazement.

'Yes sir?' he answered.

'On time I see?'

'Yes sir,'

'Carry on, sell some subscriptions,' the man half Dean's age said hitting him in the shoulder.

Dean sat back down, sighing at his computer screen.

'This is not my brother, he would never stay in a job like this,' Sam said not understanding the situation.

'He'll stay about two months before going ballistic but for now it brings food on the table and booze into his system so that's what he does.'

'Do Dean and I speak?' Sam asked cautiously.

'No, you broke contact after he pawned Jess' engagement ring, you were through with his shenanigans and left him to ruin what was left of his life.'

'That doesn't sound like me?'

'Well it is you, you like order and being in control, you have your life a certain way and well Dean didn't fit in with your vision in what a normal life should look like. He disrupted your routine and he was spontaneous, he could get over the moon for something small. You wanted your quiet balanced life,'

'What? I'm not a control freak!'

'Not in your current life, no, Dean helped you manage your Melvin Udall tendencies,'

'I find it hard to believe that being around Dean had such a great impact on my personality, Cas,' he said.

'Lets move forward a couple of weeks and see yourself pick up that precious routine,'

The room spun again, but by now Sam was used to it and the queasiness had almost disappeared completely, now he just couldn't wait to find out more.

Sam saw the alarm clock go off and without hitting the snooze button he saw himself get up and make his bed. Sam opened the closet, all his suits were organized by colour and the appropriate tie for each of them was hanging on the door.

'Huh,' Sam huffed astounded by the level of precision that went into his closet alone.

Cas and Sam followed him into the kitchen as he pressed the button on the coffee machine, he opened the cupboard reaching for a mug, he sighed and shook is head.

'What's a matter?' Sam asked.

'Your cleaning lady unloaded the dishwasher but she didn't make all the cups face the same direction, you have told her many times to do so but she forgets.'

'Seriously?' Sam said frowning.

'Yes, why do you question my level of sincerity?'

Sam sighed at Castiel's question.

'I don't, it's just an expression, I guess.'

Castiel and Sam trailed Sam to his work.

'This is where I work?' Sam asked when they stopped at the high skyscraper, 'Corporate Law?'

'Yes, your dad didn't agree initially and neither did your mum but you convinced them that you'd try and do some good in a filthy business like that.'

'So did I?'

'Well you lost your goals some what as the numbers on your paycheck increased. You saw how you're living, you like nice things and you have expensive taste. You like to indulge those around you as well. You love buying nice things for friends and family.'

Sam saw himself courteously greeting his co-workers on his way up and complimenting his secretary as he opened the doors to his office. Sam saw himself working for four hours straight, taking a short break and go back for another four hours.

As Sam was driving back to his loft he stopped by the video store and he picked up two films.

'This is spontaneous,' Sam dared more question than statement.

'Sure,' Castiel replied not convinced.

'You know for an Angel you're getting the hang of sarcasm pretty quickly,'

'I'm a fast learner,' Cas said dryly.

When Sam came home he changed his outfit for a comfortable jeans and a hoodie, Sam couldn't help but smile as he saw himself wearing something he actually recognized.

The doorbell rang.

'Hi, come on up,' Sam buzzed open the down stairs door.

He put out two wine glasses and a bowl of chips before opening his door.

'Hey hunny good to see you,' Sam said kissing the blonde girl that was at his door.

'Becky?' Sam asked Castiel astounded by the revelation.

'Yes Becky, you two finished college together and managed to stay in touch, after you and Jess broke up, she found her chance to win your heart. Much to the dismay of Jess, of course.'

'What about her brother?'

'Don't worry they were saved by other hunters, she never told you the whole story and you never asked.'

*

'Sam? Can we go out tonight?' Becky asked.

'But it's movie night?' Sam countered.

'Yes but I thought we could shake things up a little,' she said squeezing his side.

'But I already rented the movies?'

Becky sighed in defeat, no matter how hard she tried she wouldn't win this one.

'So let me guess? What did you rent? Friday the 13th and Hell Hazers II?'

'And you say that with a scowl?'

'Oh God!' Becky laughed, 'You're unbelievable,' she said kissing him and Sam happily replied.

*

'Bad horror flicks?' Sam asked Castiel.

'For some reason you have an affinity for old horror movies, don't ask,'

'I don't seem very happy,' Sam finally said looking into his other self's eyes, he saw no passion, no love, he saw loneliness.

'You are Sam, you are happy with Becky, this is a different kind of life and love, you are settling. Things are organized and you have everything in a particular order, you're living life by the book. There are no thrilling exciting things that make you over the moon happy, but there's also no pain, no loss, no fights. Life is quiet and peaceful, you worked hard for everything you have, you feel accomplished.'

'But am I complete?' Sam asked.

'I can't answer that for you Sam, but let me ask you this, were you complete before?'

Sam paused to think a minute.

'Like you said she was my ying, she made me complete.' He said longing for her and only her. Castiel nodded in agreement.

'Show me what I want to see, Cas, stop fooling around,' Sam said.

'Fine,' He replied grabbing Sam's arm, they disappeared from the loft leaving Becky and her Sam to finish their movies in peace and quiet.

**********

The room whirled around and came to a standstill at a beautiful park.

'Cas this is not what I wanted, you know that,' Sam said watching himself play with a bunch of children.

'Patience Sam,' he said.

'What am I doing here?'

'Since you feel a bit bad about going into corporate law you wanted to do something good so every Saturday you come down here and coach the little league soccer team.'

Sam smiled at the thought of working with children and he saw himself in a blue jersey smiling as he picked up a kid and ran a victory round around the small field.

'Look closer,' Castiel whispered.

'What is Dean doing here?' he said looking at his brother leaning against a tree with a pair of torn jeans and a black T, reading the newspaper.

'After you broke contact with him, Dean moved to California to try and patch things up but when he saw that you got your life together and in a particular order he stayed in the shadows. He's keeping an eye out for you, you don't think he would ever let you go now would you?'

'No I guess not,' Sam smiled.

'Actually when he saw you here he took temp job after temp job, that way he's trying to put himself through business school.'

'Really?' Sam asked in wonder.

'He looks up to you Sam, in this life and in any other life. He thinks it's his job to protect you, even without your father's incentive he still feels it's his duty.' Cas paused, 'Look further Sam.'

Sam's eyes went from Dean all the way to the other side of the park, he saw a brown haired woman on a bench reading a book and listening to her iPod, she was wearing a pair of dark denim and gold flip-flops with a white T.

'Lena?' Sam smiled.

'Yes, Sam'

'What is she doing here?'

'You know her, she wanders around the globe restlessly, she decided to stay here for a while after she heard about your accident, but she'll be gone in no time I'm sure of it.'

'Why?'

'She doesn't seem to find a place she could really call home, she has seen more and done more at her age than most people do in their entire life. She thinks she's happy with her existence, but well she hasn't seen the alternative, she hasn't experienced the feeling of a warm and loving home. How odd it may seem that was exactly what Dean gave her in your life.'

Sam figured, he didn't know Lena all that well, she had never wanted to talk about her life before she walked into theirs. She would make a joke and turn around the subject and she was damn good at it. Now he came to think of it, he wasn't even sure what her nationality was.

Sam sighed, he figured Castiel was never going to show him what he longed to see.

'Cas,' He pleaded.

'Keep looking,' he answered feeling Sam's desire.

Sam's eyes went from Lena reading her book turning 90° he saw himself playing soccer, another 90° he saw Dean circling things in the classifieds, then he turned the last 90° and his breath got caught in his throat. There she was, as beautiful as ever, wearing light denim and a top with a V-neck. She was holding a ten month old baby over her head, laughing at the child.

'Breathe Sam,' Castiel reminded her.

'Is that her?' Though the glasses, the hair, the smile and his overwhelming love were unmistakeable he wanted to hear the confirmation.

'Yes it is Sam.'

Sam looked at her, he was angry with himself, his memories didn't do her justice, at all, she was stunning by every definition. She had gotten a nice tan and she was smiling, holding a beautiful child in her arms and chatting to a friend on the phone. He felt fluttering in his abdomen he was falling in love with her all over again, right then and there. He couldn't imagine a life where she didn't exist, he couldn't live without her. He could look at her for ever, even if it was just a trailer, he would rewind it over and over again.

'What is she doing in California?' He finally asked almost panting trying to avoid a panic attack.

'Well after she lost her family she stayed with her brother for a while but she found that she needed to get back on her own two feet, she wanted to start over, somewhere where not everyone would tilt their head and think _that poor girl_, she came here to start a life and built a future for herself.'

'Why here,' Sam wondered.

'Julie was tired of the snow and cold, she wanted a guaranteed sun above her head,'

Sam smiled at the memory of her complaining about that white shit or _merde blanc_, like she called it, that always, always came at a bad time, according to her.

'Is, is that,' Sam stammered nervously, 'hers?'

'She, is hers yes, Julie is married to a gallery owner, which allowed her to explore her art more, she's a fast rising photographer at the moment.' Castiel said, a bit impressed himself.

'But Julie loves teaching?' He asked confused.

'Sam, there are some needs that Julie has to fulfil, you loved her so much that she didn't feel the need to work on herself as a person, evolving her own talents, subconsciously she was donating that part of her life to her pupils, trying to make sure they would grow up as full rounded adults.'

'So her husband doesn't love her?'

'Yes he does, very much so, but it's a different kind, like I said before she's your match and she tries to fulfil a hole that she doesn't know exists by developing her own skills.'

'Cas, be honest please.'

'Yes Sam?'

'Is she happy? Does she have everything she needs?'

Castiel sighed, surprising Sam because he didn't know Angels could display that kind of emotion.

'She wasn't for a long time, she was searching for something, something to fill that hole, something or someone to love unconditionally. When she found Erik, she wasn't struck by lightening but she learned to love him and care for him, she settled down because somewhere her biological clock said it was time. Lily, however,'

'Lily?' Sam gasped,

'Her daughter, has brought her much joy and happiness, she is everything to her. She also loves her work very much and she's pretty content with the life she has built here. So I'd say she's happy, yes,'

'Lily?' Sam murmured.

'What's so special Sam?'

'We had talked about baby names, and for a girl we had chosen Lily, after my paternal grandmother. How can that be?'

'I don't know Sam, I guess you were more bound to each other than I initially thought, it's peculiar though, I'll look into it.'

Sam shook his head, trying to get rid of the feelings that were overwhelming him, on the one hand he felt regret and sorrow and on the other hand he felt happy and blessed, he saw his girl and she was alive and well. Could he wish for something more?

'So we're all here, huh? The four of us.'

'Yes you are,'

'And here in California no less.' He huffed.

'You don't seem to understand Sam, you are the glue that held that strange, peculiar little group together. You brought Julie in your lives, you made sure Dean didn't stray, you even held Lena together when she needed it. Here you all are, gathered together but still apart, you're all trying to find something without even realizing it. And here in this park on a surface of about 250 square yards you are happy because being near is enough to feel a sense of relief.'

Sam could no longer contain himself as he twirled around looking at the faces he had loved for so long and he sprinted towards Julie, he needed to be closer, he needed to look into her eyes.

'Sam!' he heard Castiel yell but he couldn't care he needed to see her so he sprinted the few yards until he was about two feet away. She had just put Lily back into the stroller and she grabbed the camera around her neck. She was looking around the park trying to find her inspiration. He watched her as she closed her eyes and breathed deeply. As she opened her eyes again he looked straight into them, hoping she would see him, but she saw right through him. For a second Sam felt like they were the only two people in the world and everyone else disappeared, he reached out, wanting to touch her, and he did. He touched her cheek lightly with the tip of his fingers, making Julie get goosebumps.

Julie didn't know what was happening but a sudden wave of love enveloped her entirely, a genuine smile came across her face and Sam almost started crying out of happiness. She took the camera wanting to capture this feeling on paper for herself, she pointed it at Sam and took the picture, strangely the picture failed as it showed a bright light seemingly coming from nowhere.

_Hold up... hold on... don't be scared_

_You'll never change what's been and gone_

_May your smile... Shine on... Don't be scared_

_Your destiny may keep you warm._

_Cos all of the stars are fading away_

_Just try not to worry you'll see them some day_

_Take what you need and be on your way_

'Enough!' Castiel yelled, and with one swift movement of his hand they were no longer in the park, they were nowhere, just a black dark environment with only two entities, Sam and Castiel.

Sam still had his hands reached out before he fully realized that she was gone, the skin of his fingers were still tingling after his touch.

'No!' He yelled angrily, 'no, no, no!' He felt like he had lost her all over again. He couldn't take this not again.

'Castiel!' He screamed in horror, 'take me back, now!'

Castiel took a step back suddenly afraid from Sam, whose eyes were slowly going black.

'No Sam,' he said calmly, 'you have to make your choice, I have been more than fair to show you what I am offering you,'

'No there's no choice, and you know that, this is not a choice,' Sam said with his hands in his hair.

'What do you mean Sam?'

'You know I can't exist in a world where she doesn't, you are forcing me to take this bland life where everyone is seemingly happy! That's no choice! Can I condemn Dean to be that pathetic? Can I leave Lena restlessly? How's this a choice, you're giving me two options and none of them will make everyone happy,'

'But Sam,' Castiel said tilting his head frowning, 'life is never completely blissful, life's never fair. At least you do get a say in it, most people don't.'

'So what happens if I go back to my old life? Are Lena and Dean at least happy? Am I ever going to be happy again?'

'I can't answer that Sammy, I can't give you your future, but if you do decide to go back to your own life I'll put you back in the clearing meeting the dark Angel.'

'What?' Sam said panting, 'so I can see her die all over again?'

'Not if you stop it.'

'How?'

'Try and hide Julie from the demon's vision, divert his attention to someone else,'

Sam had to think and clear his mind but there was no time, he was going over all his options seeing the pros and cons of both lives. If he would be able to save Julie, everything would be okay again but for how long? When would another creature find her and try to kill her? They'd always continue battling demons and hell spawn, there would never be some peace. If he chose the last option there would be peace and quiet but no brewing house, no more laughter, no more bickering with Dean. Would he genuinely be happy just to be in the dark not knowing about everything they had done? He had wanted to give up hunting but not like this.

'What am I supposed to do Cas? Tell me please, whichever I choose I'll make people unhappy.' He said desperately, Sam was out of his wits, he hadn't come to terms with Julie's death yet and here he was not thinking straight, the thought of all the pain disappearing, the pain of losing his mom, Jessica, Madison, Pamela, his brother, countless humans it was just a too good offer to pass up. He had longed for a pain free existence and it was now being handed to him on a silver platter.

Sam went silent and Castiel didn't answer his question.

**********

'Take me back to the clearing,' he suddenly said the fire and passion returning to his eyes.

'What?'

'You heard me, I promised some girl and I'll be damned if I don't keep my promise. Take me to the clearing,' he said taking big strides towards Castiel.

'You know you wont remember anything right Sam,' Castiel warned.

'I will figure it out, I will save her, if it's the last thing I do, I want my life back, I want my brother and I want her.' Sam had never spoken so confidently, he knew for sure he would be able to change the course of his actions.

'This is and always will be a one time offer, I will never come back on this, if you pass this life up now you'll never be able to change your mind.'

'I don't care, I made up my mind,'

Castiel looked at him and suddenly smiled, like he had been hoping for this all along.

'Fine, I knew we could count on you,'

Castiel came closer and put a hand on Sam's chest.

'_Step out of the light and clip the wings_' he whispered.

'What?' but before Sam could utter the word he was zapped away, and back in the clearing.

* * *

**Review please, much appreciated.**


	11. Chapter 11 Step out of the Light

**This is the one to last chapter, I hope you like it.**

**Songs used; Every You and Every Me by Placebo (I thought it fitted pretty well)  
**

* * *

Chapter 11: Step Out of the Light

Sam was confused and dizzy, for a second he could no longer remember what he was doing and where he was but then he saw the demon with his back turned to him flicking Lena away with the mere gesture of his hand. He heard Dean scream and saw the panic in his eyes when he saw her falling with her head on a rock. He didn't know what to do, he was in doubt to break the formation or stay put until he suddenly heard a husky voice in his head.

Sam let go of Julie's hand who now got scared, as he stepped out of the headlight of the Mustang and traced the beam with his eyes until he saw something odd, he hadn't noticed it before but as the light fell on the angel's back it broke like there was glass disrupting it, when he squinted he could see a gigantic glass wing and when he looked carefully he saw the other as well.

Sam heard Dean fire two shots.

'That tickled,' the demon said grinning widely.

'Clip the wings,' Sam murmured to himself.

'What?' Julie whispered now really scared.

Sam heard Dean call his name but it was too late he was already charging ahead with the knife and in one swift swing he made contact with the wing and they all heard an incredibly loud shattering of glass, like a glass container was being emptied in the back of a truck.

The angel screamed in pain and fury turning on Sam as he still had enough strength, Dean who now understood what Sam had just done ran up to the thing and clipped its other wing making another deafening noise.

The angel fell on its knees screaming in agony and busted out into flames, Sam looked at Julie and a sense of relief came upon all of them, except for Dean who sprinted towards Lena and tried to wake her.

'Call an ambulance,' he yelled but Andy was already on his phone dialling 911.

'Come on hunny, wake up,' He pleaded holding her hand as he felt a light pulse.

He swept her up and put her carefully in the Impala, Dean speeded off while everyone else followed. When they arrived the ambulance was just there.

'How long was she out?' the paramedic asked.

'About 10-15?' Dean guessed.

'Okay, we'll take care of her.'

**********

When Sam and Julie were following the ambulance to the hospital he had the strangest feeling, though he should be worried sick about his friend, he was incredibly relieved that the night had gone fairly well. He was pretty sure Lena was to pull through, though he didn't understand why he was so sure. Was it just because he knew she was strong and could practically survive everything?

All he actually wanted to do was look at his girl.

'Calm down, hunny,' for some reason he loved to say that, like he hadn't said for a long time.

'How can you expect me to calm down, what just happened there? I mean, what the hell and Lena, poor Lena. Oh my God how can you live through this over and over again?' Julie pushed out the words at a maximum speed, tripping over them.

'Julz, easy, you're rambling again, breathe in,'

Julie looked at him and breathed as he breathed, in harmony.

'See!' She yelled.

'What?'

'You can't give up hunting, I knew it!'

'How did you come to that conclusion?'

'I can see it in your eyes, you're happy, you feel powerful and euphoric,'

'Well yeah,' Sam paused, 'you got to admit that was pretty cool,'

Julie smiled shaking her head at this boy who had just discovered a new videogame.

Sam looked at her and sighed, his heart broke when he saw her smile again, he bit his lower lip.

'I love you,' he said.

'I love you too, come on park, we need to get inside,' she said as they turned on the parking lot.

**********

'Dean sit down,' Sam whispered hard at his brother who had been pacing for over two hours in the dull blue waiting room of the ER.

'Dylan family?' A doctor suddenly said looking through a chart.

All seven of them jumped up and crowded the doctor.

'No, no I need to talk to the family first.'

'We're her family,' Dean said, 'I'm her family.'

'And she's my sister, well sort of,' Julie added.

The doctor sighed.

'Fine, she has a serious concussion and she has slipped into a coma but since you were here pretty fast we believe she will come out of it when the swelling goes down. This'll take a few days and we'll know more then.'

'Can we see her?' Julie asked almost jumping out of her skin.

'Only one of you, we can't allow more people in the ICU,'

'Thanks doctor Laurie,' Dean said reaching out his hand and shaking the handsome middle-aged man's.

Sam put a hand on his brother's shoulder and gave it a tiny squeeze to let him know he was there for him.

'I'm going to go up.' Dean said taking a deep breath walking to the elevators like he was walking to his final sentence, leaving behind the three couples who all hugged each other, happy that it was over, happy that they had done something meaningful, happy to have been a part from something bigger, happy that there friend was going to be okay. For some reason they all knew that tonight could have gone totally differently.

When Dean came to her room he almost dared not to enter it, he watched her through the glass window that was in the door, she looked pale, tiny and frail. Suddenly the woman he had always perceived as the strongest and most capable woman alive had disappeared and was now no more than just the normal woman she had always been. He carefully entered the room and pulled out a chair to sit next to her. He didn't feel comfortable and didn't exactly knew what to do but a nurse came in to pull back the curtains and let in the morning light of what was to be a beautiful and sunny day. As the soft light fell on her face he sighed as she was still breath-taking, he took her hand and pressed it against his own face, and for the first time he let all the tension and fear escape through the tears that were streaking his face.

**********

Sam couldn't wait to get him and Julie home, he had taken the Impala back to Dean's house as Julie had followed him with his Volvo.

'Why are you so jittery?' Julie asked.

'I have no idea, I just can't wait to go home and show you how much I love and want you right now.'

Julie had never seen this side of Sam, he had always treated her so nice and respectful to the point she got frustrated with his gentle approach. She had wanted to show him she wasn't breakable for such a long time and now she saw the animal in Sam, he was a cougar waiting to attack, to Sam's surprise she wasn't afraid, she couldn't wait either. As they got out of the car she tried to play coy by sitting on the hood but it was no use as Sam kissed her violently, shocking Mr and Mrs Rose, their next door, 90 year old, neighbours. But after the primarily shock they laughed at each other thinking back to their own youth. They eventually decided not to follow suit as Mr Rose just had gotten a prosthetic hip.

Sam grabbed Julz' ass and lifted her off the hood, they stumbled towards the front door and Sam thanked God that he was in good shape else this would have been impossible without them both crashing to the ground. As they entered their house Julie's jacket was already on the floor and parts of Sam's shirt were flying through the air.

'Bedroom?' He asked barely lifting his mouth from hers.

'Kitchen table!' she replied shaking her head violently, Sam caved easily as they threw everything on the floor, including a news paper and even a vase with withered flowers.

'I love...' Sam tried to say but he was interrupted by Julie.

'Don't, just take me, now!' she pleaded with the biggest smile on her face.

'Yes ma'am' he replied and like any good soldier Sam dove in and went to war, fighting like his life depended on it, he left behind one very, very exhausted and satisfied country.

**********

As the doctor had promised, Lena woke up just twenty-four hours later, Dean was half asleep by her side as she blinked against the light.

'Hey,' she managed to utter, her voice cracking from dryness.

'Hey,' he said jumping up, 'how are you feeling? Let me get you a nurse,' he searched for the button.

'No, no nurse,' she protested, 'a kiss will suffice,'

Dean couldn't deny such a request as it seemed weeks since he last kissed her, and he touched her lips softly as she was too fragile in his mind.

'See, all better,' she added smiling and coughing a bit.

Dean stayed with her, both went silent they just looked at each other, Lena didn't need to ask how the events had ended, for some reason she knew that the dark angel was history and Dean didn't tell her. They were both just happy the way they were, silently enjoying each other.

When the doctor noticed that she was getting stronger he let in two people at the time, not counting Dean who wouldn't have left her if you'd beaten him with a stick.

Christina and Katie came into the room giving Lena a big hug, they were both thrilled that she was going to be okay.

'So how are you feeling?' Chris asked.

'To be honest?' She asked and Chris nodded.

'I feel relieved and pretty stupid,'

'What do you mean?' Katie countered.

'Well I'm glad that everyone is fine, believe me, but well I feel so stupid for being the only one who got blindsided by that thing.'

Both Katie and Chris laughed.

'What d'you expect? Of course it was you! You can barely walk through your own house without knocking something over. You didn't think it would be Katie or me now would ya?'

Even Dean snickered at Chris' comments.

'Hahaha,' she said sarcastically, 'I'm happy my cracked skull at least keeps you lot entertained.'

Katie and Christina left after their short visit because there was someone else who was dying to see her.

Julie burst through the door and hugged her friend tight.

'I'm okay, I'm okay,' Lena said smiling at the love she felt from her friend.

'You look good,' Sam said hugging her after he had practically dragged Julie of the bed.

'I am, I'm fine, you guys shouldn't stay here, you all look worse than me,'

'Well yeah we didn't sleep twenty-four hours straight,' Dean said.

'Seriously guys, go home and sleep, I'm pretty tired anyway, and if the others are still here you should tell them to go home too. I'll be out here in no time.'

'Are you sure, you don't want me to stay?' Julie asked genuinely.

'I'm fine, why doesn't anyone believe me? Seriously I've had worse.'

All three looked at each other, how could she have had worse? But they let it pass as Julie and Sam left the room.

'Say Lena,' Sam asked before shutting the door behind him, 'where are you from anyway?' For some reason he really wanted to know.

'From everywhere and nowhere,' she said smiling, 'I told you that,'

'No seriously, where were you born.'

'She was born in Antwerp, city of diamonds,' Dean said not looking away from her, surprising everyone but mostly Lena.

'Okay then,' Sam said as he and Julie left.

'How did you know?'

'You think I'd date a girl without a full background check?' he said scrutinizing her.

'Euhm, yeah I think you would, if she has tits, an ass and no facial hair, you're good to go,'

Dean shook his head smiling, his past will haunt him forever.

'Why haven't you ever said something?'

'I figured if you wanted to tell me you would so I was waiting for you,'

'It's not that I didn't want to tell, it's just that I never saw the need to, it's so futile,'

'I know, you don't have to explain yourself, look I don't tell you everything I have been through, I don't see the need for it either. We have secrets and that's just fine,'

Suddenly Lena clutched her head.

'What's a matter? What's wrong?' Dean said pressing the call-button three hundred times.

'Just a headache that's all,' she said squinting her eyes against the sudden onset of pain.

'You should rest,'

'Only if you go home and do the same,' she replied as a nurse came in.

'Sure, I will. Can you do something against the pain?' he asked the nurse.

'Here you go sugar, say goodnight now,' the dark heavy nurse said.

Lena was out before she had the chance to protest.

'Thank you,' Dean said grateful.

'Your girl is right boy, you don't look too fit,'

'I'll manage,' he said rolling his eyes at the nurse.

Dean stayed on the uncomfortable chair after the nurse left, listening to the steady beeps monitoring her heartbeat. After a few minutes the nurse came back in pushing forward an odd looking chair.

'Here a barcalounger,' she said demonstrating that the ugly thing could lean fully back.

'Waw, thanks, I don't know what to say,' he said taking the seat gratefully.

'Say nothing, just rest and don't tell the others, I had to steal it from the geriatrics department,'

Dean snickered as he leaned back and sighed.

'She'll be fine,' the nurse whispered as she softly stroked his cheek, feeling safe he closed his eyes ending up in dreamless sleep.

**********

Lena was released from hospital only a few days later, all her tests came back and the doctors had insisted on her staying another night but she wouldn't hear of it and asked to be discharged.

'Finally, home,' she said relieved, but as she entered the home everything was pretty dark and looked a bit grim, was this the place she called home?

Dean supported her as she was still a bit weak in the knees, he led her to the couch.

'No,' she said, 'let's go upstairs.' A devilish grin came across her face.

'Are you sure?' He asked concerned for her health.

'Look me in the eye,' she said dead serious.

'Okay than,' he caved.

He led her upstairs and put her on their bed carefully kissing her with all the love he could master, he took of her shirt and pants vigilantly, looking at the bruises caused by the fall, tracing them carefully. He took of his own shirt and let her kiss his abs. Cautiously he picked her up and pushed her more to the middle as he climbed on top, his back muscles moving like a panther on the prowl. He looked into her eyes and she could still see the worry and weariness in him.

Their love-making was different than their usually animalistic behaviour, Dean had never been this careful as he kept a watchful eye on her face for any discomfort, but he could only see how much she enjoyed being one with him.

'I love you,' he whispered as she closed her eyes in pleasure.

'I love you too,'

**********

Dean had been up most part of the night, he had laid awake thinking and he had finally come to a decision.

'Morning,' she said still a bit limping from the stiffness in her hips caused by the fall, she caressed his bare back as she passed him to the kitchen.

'Morning,' he replied with an untouched bowl of cereal in front of him.

She came to sit next to him with her own bowl, as she sat down she grunted at the pain in her back. Dean's heart broke that his girl was in pain.

'Spit it out already,' she said after a few minutes of silence.

'What?' he said absently.

'Come on Dean, I know you, there's something on your mind, just tell me and get it over with,'

'You're right,' he replied looking up but not smiling.

'I think we should break up,' he finally sighed, scared for the things that were going to be flung at his head.

But Lena just nodded, pressing her lips together.

'I figured you were going to say that,' she replied reluctantly, pushing the cereal in front of her away.

'I can't have you in my life, bad things are going to keep finding us...'

'... and you'll keep finding bad things,' she added. 'You can't give up hunting, I know, I have known for a long time and wouldn't want you to.'

'What do you mean, I can give up hunting, I'm tired of it anyway,'

'No you can't Dean, I know you, you need the adrenaline, just like your brother, he has talked about quitting many times but it's in your blood,'

'I don't need hunting, but the bad guys will keep finding us even if we do quit,'

'You're lying to yourself,'

'Either way, I can't quit,'

'How hard it is to admit, I feel safer knowing that you and Sam fight to make the world a better place, I would never ask you for quitting,'

'I can't have you in danger, what happened last week is a one time event, I never ever want to see you unconscious again. It kills me,'

'I know it does,' she replied looking down, ignoring the pain that was coming on so swiftly, but this wasn't from the fall.

'Look, Sam has a lead on a possible hunt, I'm leaving in a couple of hours, I wont come back, I wont disrupt your life. You keep the house, it's full of your things anyway.' He said sighing and looking around, swiftly trying to memorize every small detail.

'No, you lived here twice as long as I did, it's your home, not mine. I'll be gone before you get back from wherever.'

She looked up again and was startled when he saw his eyes peering into hers, she couldn't believe how much she loved this man, she didn't understand how in hell she had let it come this far? She loved him with all her heart and now she had to leave him. She swallowed the bile that was clogging her airway. She reached out to touch his cheek, he closed his eyes leaning against the loving hand.

'You think you'll ever find another woman, someone you feel like you can spend the rest of your life with?'

The words hit him hard, he hadn't seen this coming, he went through all the possibilities of his future in his mind but he couldn't find an answer for her.

'No, I don't think I'll ever meet someone like you again, I don't think I'll ever be the guy that gets married and settles down.'

'I hope you are wrong, 'cause you do deserve it, despite what you think of yourself,' she said, 'I hope you find what you are looking for,' she added, kissing him hard on the lips before running towards the stairs ignoring the pain in her body.

Dean put on the shirt that was lying on the chair beside him and his already made duffle was waiting by the door. He grabbed something from the coat hanger and left his house.

**********

Lena tried to stay strong when she heard the door fall into its lock and the Impala skidding off the driveway. She got cleaned up and started packing, her suitcases were under the bed and she actually smiled when she pulled them out. She couldn't believe how long it had been since she last used them, they were probably now out of fashion. As she was putting her clothes in neatly she realized she had accumulated too much stuff and that she would never be able to take everything.

It took Lena three days to figure out what was going with and what she was leaving behind, it took her three days to separate her life from his. In the end she put all the remaining stuff in boxes and carried them to the basement they had never used. She managed to divide her CDs from his and take them with her. She stood in front of the table behind their couch where all their pictures were standing. She didn't want to take the best ones, and eventually decided to take one from their trip to the Grand Canyon about a year ago and one she took of him while he wasn't paying attention and just looking straight ahead. Looking at the pictures she realized how happy they once were and how easy it was. She wished she had never answered that phone call now over a month ago. The other photos of only her, she piled into a box and carried them to the basement, next to all the other stuff.

She had called Julie after she knew for sure that Sam and Dean would be on their way, Julie hadn't guessed it and was shocked and started to cry at the news, she offered to come by, but Lena pleaded not to and said she would come by before she left. And after a long phone call Julie had finally promised not to come over as Lena was sorting things out. So that's what Lena did, the Mustang loaded with her stuff, she went to say goodbye to her best friend.

Julie, hearing Jared pull up, stood in the doorway when Lena stepped out and she ran up to her jumping in her arms.

'Why do you have to go? Why can't he go?' She said furious and angry.

'It' better this way, Julz, you know me, I was never bound to stay here for ever,'

'Why not?'

'You really thought you were going to marry Sam and I Dean and be a happy foursome for the rest of our lives?'

'What's wrong with that?' she said through the tears.

Lena smiled and shook her head.

'Nothing, I guess, it's just not for me.'

'I thought you loved him?' she said analysing Lena's words and looking her in the eyes.

'Don't ask that of me Julie,' she replied getting free from the suffocating hug and turning her back on Julie.

'Didn't you? Aren't you going to fight for him?' she yelled at her friend.

'I still do!' she yelled, 'don't you see, I'm doing this for him! The thought of me getting hurt pains him, I can see it in his eyes every day, if I am not there I take that pain with me!' Lena yelled, finally breaking down into tears, Julie rushed over trying to support her but she wouldn't have it, she kissed Julie goodbye and got behind the steering wheel. Before she pulled out she rolled down the window.

'I'm still your bridesmaid, don't worry.' And she mastered a tiny smile as she looked back and pulled out of the driveway.

She tried to see the road through the tears but they disappeared quickly, she felt alive behind the wheel and she was angry with herself, she had been stuck in that little town for far too long. She needed the road and she couldn't wait to travel again. How could she have fallen in love? How did she let it come that far? She shook her head and put on her shades as the sun was coming in low. She turned up the tunes and let the music take her grief away.

_Sucker love is heaven sent._

_You pucker up, our passion's spent._

_My hearts a tart, your body's rent._

_My body's broken, yours is spent._

_Carve your name into my arm._

_Instead of stressed, I lie here charmed._

_Cuz there's nothing else to do,_

_Every me and every you._

_Sucker love, a box I choose._

_No other box I choose to use._

_Another love I would abuse,_

_No circumstances could excuse._

_In the shape of things to come._

_Too much poison come undone._

_Cuz there's nothing else to do,_

_Every me and every you._

_Every me and every you,_

_Every, __Me...he_

_

* * *

_

**Reviews are hugely appreciated and I hope you're looking forward to the last chapter of these chronicles of my brain.**


	12. Chapter 12 Two Bachelorparties and a Wed

**I told you it was going to be a gigantic chapter, in retrospect I should have split it in two as it is over 12000 words, but I wouldn't know where to split as it all fits together.**

**Anyway; the song you need is La Vie en Rose, but the Armstrong version this time ;-)**

**Enjoy and at the end I ask you one question...  
**

* * *

Chapter 12: Epilogue

Two bachelor parties and a wedding.

*

'Come on Dean, get up!' Sam said poking his brother.

'Five more minutes, mom,'

Sam sighed, his brother had been sleeping on their couch quite often the last six months, not wanting to go back to his own empty house, he needed the company, he needed laughter and voices around him.

'Good morning,' Julie said as she came downstairs, finding the odd picture of her fiancée poking his half-naked brother in the side.

She kissed Sam and went over to Dean, her maternal instincts took over as she pecked him on the cheek and stroked his forehead. Dean could definitely get used to this and that's exactly what Sam was afraid of.

'Don't encourage him!' Sam said to Julie but she ignored him.

'Come on, let's get you a cup of coffee.'

She poured him a steaming mug of coffee and behind her back Dean's devilish grin towards Sam appeared, his eyes bright and innocent.

Sam rolled his eyes and went to sit at the table next to him.

'You have a tux-fitting today, don't forget,' he said.

'I know, I'll be there.'

Dean got dressed and decided to go back to his own home, he still had some stuff to organize for the Bachelor party which was only days away.

'See you later,' he said stepping out the door.

'Three O'clock!' Sam yelled back.

Julie's phone went and as she saw the caller-ID her face lit up.

'Hey Katie what's up? She did what? Oh no, I understand,' Julie's tone changed into disappoint, 'uhu, I see, yeah sure. No we'll have tons of fun. Sure, see you later,' she hung up the phone throwing it on the table.

'What's a matter?' Sam asked, though he could surely guess what was wrong.

'Lena called Katie and Christina, she's not going to make it back in time to organize hen's night, so she pawned off that maid of honour duty to Chris and Katie.'

'That's great!' Sam said trying to cheer up his girl.

'What do you mean?'

'Look I love Lena but if you're talking party you need Chris and Katie, no doubt.'

'Yeah perhaps,' she replied smiling.

The aftermath of the break-up was tangible in all their lives, Julie and Sam were constantly worrying about Dean who acted like he was fine and threatening people who asked him if he was fine. Christina and Katie went on with their lives as usual though their Thursday night dinners were now a thing of the past, they would only get together sporadically. And the only contact Julie had were a couple of text message once in a blue moon from strange and long phone numbers. After six months they all had new routines and were happy just the same, they missed their friend but they knew she was out there somewhere doing her own thing.

As the wedding came closer they became all much happier, lost in the details of what was to become a fairytale wedding, though Sam didn't need the hoopla he did love to see his girl fantasize and eventually went with everything she wanted. They had rented a beautiful vineyard and a house that looked like it was completely made out of glass. Sam didn't see the need for a wedding church but did want their bond to be unified in some special way.

'I need to go,' Sam suddenly said as he jumped up and left Julie baffled.

'Where are you going?'

'Just something for the wedding, don't worry,'

'What then?'

'I'm not telling you,' he said with a grin on his face making Julie sigh with Sam's secrecy.

'Babe,' she yelled before he went out the door, 'you talk to the minister yet?'

'No,' Sam said frowning in fear of his girl yelling.

'What? I thought you took care of that? What are we supposed to do? We're walking down that aisle in a week!!! What the hell Sam. You forgot?!' she yelled in a frenzy seeing her wedding coming loose at the seems.

'I just didn't really wanted a minister, but don't worry I have an alternative, you'll see.' Scared out of his wits he ran to his car and hoped plan A would come through because plan B didn't exist.

Sam drove to a deserted park and started praying.

**********

'Hold still,' the tailor demanded.

'Sam, I don't understand this, I have this why can't I perform your wedding in this?'

'Cas, come on blend in okay, you're wearing a suit, you'll feel much more comfortable,' Sam grinned as he saw the Angel standing in an awkward position. Sam figured that their union couldn't be holier than an Angel actually performing the wedding. Castiel didn't know what to say at first but Sam played the remember-what-we-did-three-years-ago card and Castiel had caved, not wanting to fess up to Sam what a huge favour he had done all of them just a few months ago and for some reason he felt honoured by their request, he had wanted to learn more from humans for so long but he had never dared to participate in their weird customs and he kind of liked this side of humans, he had seen so much pain and hurt in his existence that he had almost forgotten that they could be so endearing, loving and caring.

'This is ridiculous,' he sighed.

'You'll get used to it, look I don't like it either but he's calling the shots,' Dean said nodding at his brother, while he was standing next to Castiel getting his measurements taken by a slightly older gay man.

'Hey, hey, watch the goods, they're not for you,' Dean said looking down at the man who was taking the in-seems.

'Dean!' Sam yelled in embarrassment, 'let the man do his job!' he covered his eyes with his hand in shame.

'So Sam, getting nervous yet for the big day?' Dean asked as he was changing back in his jeans and T.

'No not really,'

'No cold feet?'

'Nope, nothing. I just feel really, really right. I am one hundred percent certain of this. Julie is the love of my life, what can I say.'

'Yeah, yeah, she's yin to your yang, I've heard the speech. Speaking of, say can I bring a date to the wedding?'

'You're up for a plus one so yeah, but you do know she is coming right?' Sam was careful about saying her name because it always had a bad effect on him.

'Yeah, I know,' he said averting his eyes, 'I mean it's been six months I'm pretty sure she hasn't been celibate since.' He said, 'Have you spoken to her?' he asked cautiously.

'No, Julz did though, she called last week to confirm some stuff for the wedding,'

'She say where she was?'

'Who?' Castiel suddenly said coming out of the fitting room.

'No one,' Dean said walking away and leaving the shop.

'Why is Dean being evasive when asked a direct question,' he asked not understanding this particular human behaviour. Sam just laughed and shook his head leaving behind a confused angel in a tuxedo shop.

**********

'Hunny, I'm back!' Sam yelled.

'I'm not talking to you,' she replied not looking up from her book, _Supremacy_.

'You're not huh? Too bad, I was going to tell you something important but well if you wont talk to me never mind.' He said shrugging walking carefully into the kitchen.

'I can listen,' she said still annoyed.

'Well let's just say our MOC problem has been resolved.'

'Our what now?'

'Master of Ceremony, it's taken care of, you'll see.'

'Sam,' she said with a worried look on her face, putting away the book, 'I know you and upstairs don't have the best relationship and I'm not very religious either but I was kind of hoping to marry in front of God as well as the state. Can we please just confirm the minister?'

'Julz, look into my eyes,' she leaned over the couch doing as she was told, 'do you trust me?'

'Yes,' she replied hesitantly.

'Than don't worry about it okay,' Sam continued walking towards the kitchen.

'So where's my food woman! I'm starving!' he yelled stretching to his full height.

'It'll be here in,' she cocked her head and listened, 'about 32 seconds.'

Sam heard the Impala pull up and Dean's steps in the grind, he sighed.

'Hunny I'm home,' he proclaimed walking through the door with three pizzas.

'Hi darling,' Julie purred making Sam want to bite off his arm just so he would have something to fling to his freeloading brother.

'You know Julie, if you keep treating him like that, he'll never leave, you do realize that don't you!'

Dean sat down while Sam was still standing in the kitchen doorway.

'But he's so cute, we can't kick him out,' she said petting Dean's head.

'She's right bro, I'm adorable.'

Sam gave up and all three of them had a great light-hearted meal. Julie noticed Dean had ordered and was actually eating a vegetarian pizza. She didn't say anything but felt that he was still trying to catch some sort of essence from her.

Julie was putting everything in the dishwasher as Sam recycled the carton boxes. And Dean was confused. He was pacing in the kitchen, looking at everything.

'What are you doing?' Sam asked.

'I don't know,' he said absently moving with his hands, 'something's different here.'

'Yeah, like what?' Sam smirked.

'That's what I'm trying to figure out, it's not the lighting, or the curtains or the cupboards.' Dean continued looking at the kitchen, 'you got a new table?'

'Dean that's been there for over three weeks!' Sam noted.

'What was wrong with the old one?'

Both Julie and Sam went bright red as they had a little accident with that old kitchen table.

'Hot pot,' Julie said but Sam said, 'paint!'

'Oh my God! You totally broke it!' Dean yelled laughing taking his beer to the living room.

'Look Dean you have to understand,' Julie said walking behind him, 'mommy and daddy love each other very much and sometimes they can't contain themselves.'

'Oh God! Please shut up now, Sam shut her up,'

'But Dean don't you have questions, you know the birds and the bees?' Sam said playing along with Julie's onset.

Horror struck on Dean's face.

'Oh my God! How many times have I eaten on that table?! You are both disgusting, can't contain yourselves?! You're both adults for crying out loud! That's just plain unsanitary!'

Sam and Julie were laughing till tears came in their eyes, Dean, totally crept out, left his beer and the horny couple alone. That was probably for the best as they still had to break in their new kitchen table.

**********

'Hey, yeah I'm on my way, see you in a few,' Julie said as she was packing an overnight bag.

'Do you really have to go?' Sam asked lying on the bed as he watched his girl pack.

'You know the rules, we aren't supposed to sleep together before the wedding,'

'Those rules are so archaic, let's ignore them shall we?' Sam said as he groped her by the waist and pulled her closer to him on the bed. Julie yelped in pleasure but fought her way out of his grip.

'I have to go, besides Dean will be here any minute,'

Sam grunted as he heard the words,

'But I don't want to go look at half naked women,' he whined.

'You're such a liar, you love a boys' night out and you know it, just don't kiss any of those skanks, I mean for my own protection of course, I don't want you to kill me you see,' she smiled.

'How can a siren ever get to me, when she's already here,'

'Did you just compare me to an old ancient Greek creature?'

'Yeah I guess I did, still better than calling you the Trojan horse right?'

'Yeah I guess so,' she replied with a grin on her face, 'okay now kiss me goodbye,'

Sam did as he was told.

'I'll see you the day after tomorrow, I'll be the one in white,'

Sam smiled and sighed as he saw Julie slip away. A wind blew across the room and Sam got up.

'What are you doing here Cas?' Sam asked confused.

'I have been given instructions to be here at 7pm sharp,' the Angel answered and as Sam looked at the clock he noticed it was 5 seconds past 7.

'By who?'

'By Dean,'

'Of course, well let's get downstairs, I'm sure he'll be here soon.'

'What is going to happen Sam?' Cas asked a bit anxious why he was summoned here.

'I'm not going to lie to you Cas, you're not going to like it, I'm not going to like it but we'll pretend and hopefully we'll survive the night,' Sam said sighing as he walked down the last steps, followed by Castiel.

Only a few minutes later Sam heard the cars pull up on the driveway.

'Here's Johnny,' he said in his best Nicholson voice.

'Who's Johnny?' Cas asked not getting the allusion.

'Never mind,' Sam replied opening the door and watched the rowdy bunch get out of the cars, how he ever got into this hillbilly state of mind he never understood, he blamed his brother for it. Dean was caring a couple of six packs, while Andy brought in the food.

'Our favourite bachelors,' he yelled as he saw Sam and Cas standing in the doorway, Dean was honestly exited for the evening to come and he hugged his brother on his way in.

'Hey Cas, this big bear is Andy, he's married to Christina, and this small fry is Chris he's Katie's man.'

'It's my pleasure,' Andy stammered reaching out his hand.

'Hello,' Cas said eying the man's hand suspiciously, his own hands crossed behind his back.

'Guys this is the Angel we talked about,'

'Dean!' Castiel suddenly yelled, 'you told them who I was?'

'Calm down Cas, these guys are trustworthy believe me, they're like Bobby, only prettier.' He smirked.

'I can not condone this behaviour, these are civilians, not hunters,'

Andy and Chris couldn't help but look unbelievably uncomfortable, unwanted and meaningless as Andy tucked his hand away in his jeans, too afraid of hitting an Angel in the face for insulting him.

Sam quickly intervened feeling the tension rise.

'Cas, it's okay, they're reliable, look no one else knows okay, besides Julie and Lena know too and they're not hunters,'

Castiel eyed Sam suspiciously at his last statement but decided to give the two fairly innocent looking men the benefit of the doubt, besides he didn't feel like smiting anyone today, he just wanted to be human, just for a day.

'Awkward,' Dean said with his high-pitched voice and he made his way into the living room turning on the TV.

'Hey guys, the game has already started, hurry yup,' he yelled at the foursome who joined him and finally found some common ground.

Castiel was intrigued by the progress, he thought this was going to be a social event but instead of talking and sharing they were all glued to this box, showing 22 men running around in tiny shorts. And then there was this yelling at the TV, he didn't understand why these grown men were yelling at people who couldn't hear them, he figured it was so pointless.

'So I don't get it,' Cas suddenly asked when they were all quiet for a second, 'these men run their heart out to catch this ball and then they kick it and proceed to run after it again? How's that logical?'

All the guys laughed when they heard Castiel's logic, they had to admit he had a point.

'See that big net and those poles?' Andy asked.

'Yes, I do,'

'Well they're trying to kick the ball into the net, only using their feet to do it, it's called soccer and sometimes it's called football but I don't know where.'

'It sounds more logical to call it football, you kick the ball with your feet,' Castiel remarked.

'True but there's another game called football,'

'Do you kick that ball with your feet too?'

'No not exactly,' Andy sighed as he had no idea how to explain the given names.

'Here take a beer, you'll enjoy the game more,' Dean said tossing Cas another one.

By the second half of this 90 minute game Castiel had finally found the appeal of drinking, eating and yelling at the TV, he had found it very educational and when their team in the end prevailed he was generally relieved and joined in on the patting on the back and the cheerful laughter.

'Okay boys, on to the next part of our evening,' Dean said as he stood up finishing his beer.

'What is this next part you talk of?' Castiel asked curiously.

'Don't worry man, you're gonna love it,' he replied hitting the Angel in the back.

They all followed Dean out of the house and got into Chris' BMW, he was the designated driver for the night, poor man had chosen 'paper' playing rock-paper-scissors against Dean.

*

'Let's go man, while they haven't seen us together yet,' Dean said slapping Andy on the back, anxious for some action.

Andy sighed, but caved easily as he knew this was what part of being a hunter.

Both made their way up to the pool table and got ready to take some poor bastards money. Before they were going to break Andy walked up to Dean and whispered in his ear.

'Can I please take them tonight?' Andy pleaded quietly.

'Sure man, if you think you're ready, you're ready.'

Dean broke and whooped Andy's ass, by the time they finished the game they had already turned a few heads, mainly because Andy was pretending to be loud and drunk. When Dean put his stick down and took Andy's money there were already a couple of vultures circling the table, ready to profit from a drunken buffoon like Andy.

Chris, Cas and Sam observed from a table afar and laughed as the two put on a show like there was no tomorrow.

'What is this game they play?' Castiel asked.

'It's pool man, the balls need to go into the pockets, first one to finish wins.' Sam stated.

'And that is fun?' He asked without any sarcasm in his voice

'The game itself pretty much bores them both but the mind games they're playing during it is much more alluring.'

'I think I'll go observe up close.' Cas said curious what Sam meant by mind games.

'So Sam, you think you're ready for married life?' Chris inquired suddenly.

'Yeah I think I am, I mean nothing's really going to change when it come down to it. Just a piece of paper in the end.' He said casually not believing his own words; 'were you ready?'

Chris sighed deeply and thought back to his life with Katie, how she has saved his life and how she had made him happy in so many many ways.

'In retrospect I can absolutely say that yes, yes I was ready for marriage, Sam you can't believe how much I love her. Since the first moment I met her actually, I know she didn't see me like that at first but I did,' he said staring out in front of him, a big stupid smile appeared on his face, 'she looked at me and I just melted. It was love at first sight.'

'Man you're still a love sick puppy, and I think I have an idea how much you love her,' Sam said his own eyes sparkling at the prospect of putting that ring around her perfect finger.

'Yeah I guess you do,' he answered toasting with their beers.

'Yeah sure, get ready to loose buster!' Sam heard Andy yell to a biker that was about Andy's size.

'You break,' the man said pretty sure of himself.

Andy broke perfectly, just as Dean had taught him, Dean couldn't help but smile brilliantly as he was so proud. But the biker caught Dean's smile and wasn't going to take their shit lying down. He broke the cue and came swinging at Andy but he was quick on his feet and though he was always a kind hearted person who wouldn't hurt a fly, you know you don't anger a bear. Andy gave the guy an uppercut before the stick had even hit him. This angered the biker's friends and some other people in the bar who were just looking for a fight. One managed to jump Dean, who was stunned for a minute but then found that Chris had already hit his attacker in the balls from behind so he just collapsed and released Dean from the grip.

'Thanks,' Dean said a bit humiliated being saved by a guy half his size in width.

Dean saw Sam getting in some good punches to free Andy of the two heavy guys that had jumped him even Castiel jumped in after a guy hat hit him in the back with a chair.

'You shouldn't have done that son, I am an Angel...'

'Not now Cas just hit him in the face!' Dean yelled at him, interrupting Castiel's introduction. Castiel listened and felt bad about hitting his father's creation in the face but he had to do something.

The moment they saw that the people were stunned but still ready to attack the five friends, they grabbed the cash and ran outside like the five hooligans they really are.

'That was fun,' Dean panted getting into the Beamer.

'Fun?' Sam said rubbing his head.

'Yeah!' Andy growled as the engine came to life and skidded off the lot.

'On to stage 3 of our plan.' Dean proclaimed.

'This? A barfight, was part of your plan?' Sam yelled as he was still pumped with adrenaline.

'Of course, couldn't have you marrying that beautiful girl before you say goodbye to your old life now could I?'

The car responded in laughter except for Sam, he found it hard to believe that this was going to be his last fight and if it was he kind of wished he had gotten in some more punches.

Castiel didn't see the humour either, he couldn't believe what he had just done, hitting a civilian in the face? He kept staring at his hands.

'Oh man, I hope this doesn't turn into a black eye 'cause Christina will kill me if I show up like that on the wedding.'

'That's why we have tomorrow to recover man, we can get hammered and beaten up and by Friday we'll be back on our feet.' Dean said smiling at his own brilliance for planning the bachelor party on Wednesday instead of Thursday.

'We're here,' Chris said as they pulled into another parking lot.

Castiel squinted at the red and blue neon lights that were flashing from the building.

'What is this place?' he asked at the sight.

**********

When Julie arrived at Christina's she was disappointed that there was no red Mustang in sight, she breathed deeply and rang the bell.

'Here she is our bride!' Christina squealed with a big smile on her face as she opened the door.

'I see you have started without me,' Julie said hugging Chris as she remarked the margarita in Chris' hand.

'How do you figure that? This is just my starter!'

'Julie you're here!' Katie said as she came through the kitchen door, 'how are you feeling?'

'Pretty exhausted actually, believe you me I'm only getting married once!'

'Oh you'll be glad when it's finally there, when it's your day and you have nothing more to worry about.'

'Yeah, I know, I can't believe I'm actually getting married,' she said putting her hands in her hair while Chris poured her a margarita. She tossed it back in one shot and Christina just refilled the glass.

'Hmm, what do I smell? It smells good!' Julie suddenly noticed.

'Chris' famous lasagne, of course! Only she used that substitute meat instead of the real thing,' the corners of Katie's lips went down as she said the words.

'It's supposed to have the same flavour,' Chris remarked not very certain of her own cooking.

'What is it made of?' Julie asked squinting her eyes in disbelief.

'You don't want to know,' Chris said.

*

Lena pulled up at Christina's place and saw the various cars in the street she knew so well, she noticed she was late but she needed to pause for just minute and wrap her head around; _why she was here again? Right Julie's wedding, can't bail, maid of honour duties_ _and all that._

She breathed in the summer air that was slowly turning into an autumn breeze, as she looked through the window she saw her three friends laughing and toasting, she felt like an outsider staring in, and that was exactly what she was. Though she yearned to go in she was scared shitless that things had changed between them. She hadn't been the bestest friend to any of them, she hadn't done much for the wedding or any of her other bride's maid duties, she hadn't checked in on Chris and her kids, for Christ's sake she hadn't even been on the phone with Katie talking books for hours on end. Thinking back to their lives before she split made a smile creep up her face, she loved these women and she had a feeling she would be forgiven, they'd mostly felt sorry for her, she guessed. They knew what Dean had meant to her and they would understand.

_Stop this madness, just go in, you worthless chicken._

Lena sighed heavily and set one foot in front of the other repeating the process until she reached that door.

*

The doorbell rang as they knew their fourth and last guest had arrived. All jumped up and went over to door, and as they opened it they saw a tanned and smiling Lena.

'Oh my God, it's so good to see you all!' Lena yelled in pleasure hugging each of her friends.

As she took of her shades, she started crying out of joy.

'I missed you guys so much!' she said happy and cheerful.

'We missed you too!' They replied content to be complete again.

'Don't ever go again,' Julie commanded as she would hardly let go of her friend and Lena just laughed.

When they were done hugging and kissing and checking each other out they took their seats at the dinner table, and like nothing had changed over the last six months, they talked, laughed and drank. The lasagne turned out to be great even without the meat.

'Okay spill it, where have you been?' Julie suddenly asked after the table had been cleaned and all eyes were now on Lena.

'All over, pretty good trip.' She replied lightly.

'Be specific for once!' Julie cried, yearning for more information.

'Well, when I left I decided to go back to my hometown actually, so after a roadtrip to Austin, Texas, I left Jared in a garage box and took a plane back to Belgium, I didn't stay there very long but I did caught up with some old friends. I went to see my precious car.'

'Your car? But you said you left it in Texas?' Julie interrupted.

'I left Jared here but my first love was in a garage box back in Antwerp, my Alfa GT, so I took a roadtrip through Europe, I had forgotten how much I loved it there. I was finally able to battle my own demons. And I flew in from Italy just a few days ago.' She said with a smile on her face, like she was content.

'So you'll be going back then?' Katie cautiously asked.

'Nope, not for a while though, I have no idea what I'm going to do. You know me.' She said shrugging.

'Just stay a while then, if you have nowhere to be.' Julie said trying to disguise the pleading in her voice.

'Sure I might just take you up on that offer.' She replied not completely certain of that statement.

The foursome started drinking and toasting and Lena cunningly diverted the subject from her own to Julie's oncoming wedding. It was like their Thursday night dinners had never stopped, except then it was Wednesday, they still felt unbelievably comfortable with each other and it was so easy be with on another, no pressure, no awkwardness, just friendship. Lena had certainly missed this feeling, she had forgotten how good it felt to actually belong somewhere and not be the odd one out for once.

**********

Dean and his posse entered the _Pussy Cat_ with Castiel closing the lines as he was not exactly sure in what situation the eldest brother was putting him in.

'Ladies!' Dean proclaimed as he walked through the door like he owned the place.

A lot of squeals and half-naked bodies greeted the men, making Chris, Cas and Sam a bit uncomfortable.

'Sam you're early,' A girl called Denise said, 'does that mean you are staying?'

'Yeah, I guess so,' Sam said, hands in his pockets and his shoulders up high.

The girl had seen Sam on various occasions although Sam wasn't the strip-club kind of man, the club did have his cell phone number in case Dean had had one too many.

'Ladies, I know I am irresistible, it's tough,' Dean exclaimed seriously, 'but tonight we're here for my brother's bachelor party, so you treat him right,'

A lot more screams and congratulations came from the girls as they were led to one of the booths in the club. The ladies always put on their best show for the Winchesters because they tipped decent and they kept their hands to themselves, the boys treated the ladies with respect and humour, every one of them begged to wait on their table.

'Hi, I'm mother Teresa and I'll be your waitress tonight,' a girl in a blue outfit said with a pad in her hand.

'Yeah, I bet you are,' Dean said nodding approvingly, 'how have you been Chantrelle?'

'Fine Dean, thanks, so Sam I hear it's your bachelor party, congratulations!' she said leaning on the table showing a cleavage that left not much unseen.

'Yeah, getting married Friday,' Sam said to her.

'You know what's perfect for bachelor parties?' she said biting her lower lip teasingly.

'No, what,' Sam smiled.

'Bodyshots!'

'Yeah! Bodyshots! Definitely!' Dean yelled, cursing himself for not thinking of it himself.

'I am so in!' Andy added to Dean's joy.

'Yeah, you go ahead, I don't know though,'

'Come on Sam, it's innocent fun you know, you wont be crossing a line,' Chantrelle said.

'Okay, fine,' he caved setting off a lot of ruffles on the table and scanting from the men.

'Just so you know, we're closing the club for tonight, so this is going to be the best farewell send off we could offer you,' she added.

'Oh that's really sweet,' Sam said, 'you didn't have to do that.' Sam said with his palm to his heart.

'But we wanted to,' she said winking and leaving the men.

*

'Okay this is how it's going down,' a woman in some sort of dominatrix costume yelled while toying with a leather whip, 'Samuel Winchester are you willing to accept this challenge and go through this rite of passage?'

'What's this rite of passage she talks about? And why are they all so little dressed?' Castiel whispered to Andy.

'Just watch man, you'll get it, we're here to appreciate the female form,' he whispered back.

'Yes I am!' Sam said in the mood from previous alcohol use.

'Good!' the dominatrix said as the rest of the onlookers were clapping and cheering Sam on.

Sam was a bit unsure how he would do it because he wasn't just here to pass the rite, he was here to break Dean's record and he figured he would be able to do that if he didn't fell down. The stage, the women usually used to dance on, was now covered with ten beautiful girls, all shapes, colours and sizes. Each of them had a streak of salt beneath their belly buttons, a shotglass of tequila on their midriff and a slice of lime between their breasts, and he wasn't allowed to use his hands.

Sam set off as soon as a woman dressed as a dirty nurse had given the go with a timer in her hands. With certainty and speed he licked the salt off of his first girl which appeared to be Denise, and as his tongue accidently brushed the girls thong he moved up to the tequila in one swift move he tossed it back and went for his end goal, the green slice hiding between two Ds.

All the other men and women were cheering Sam on as he went down the line. Though Dean got a bit weary when he reached number seven and could still walk straight.

'He's heading for your record, man,' Chris said as he stood behind Dean.

'Shut up, he'll never make it,' he replied frowning.

'So what is that beverage?' Castiel asked Andy.

'Tequila man, you should try it.'

Andy waved over Chantrelle and asked for a couple of tequilas for his friend. Castiel didn't know exactly why but being referred to as a friend made him feel something funny, something warm in his gut and he didn't quite understand it but seeing it was a good feeling he didn't bother to ask.

'Here, first lick your hand, a little salt, lick your hand again, toss back the tequila and bite down the lime,' As Andy showed Castiel his eyes squinted biting the lime.

As Castiel repeated the process he too closed his eyes at the sour of the lime.

'Now, what?' He said still as sober as a fish though he had been drinking like all the others.

'Now you repeat the process,' Andy said laughing.

Suddenly everyone except one was jubilant as Sam had reached the final girl, dressed as a if she was an extra in one of Britney Spears' clips, and had indeed broken Dean's record.

Dean was cursing on the inside but he decided to let it go and let Sam have his moment of triumph. He walked up to his brother and hugged him, though resentful he was so proud at the same time.

The party resumed as everyone started dancing and drinking, fifteen beautiful ladies, a dj and five grown men having the night of their life.

'Okay I think I can feel the effect now,' Castiel said slightly light-headed.

'You can't be serious!' Andy slurred as he saw Castiel toss back another scotch. Though the new found buddies had been drinking together, Andy was already on the drooling-and-nearly-passing-out stage while Cas just started to feel it.

'Hey big man, want to come and dance?' Denise said as she pulled Castiel out of the booth. Before he could reply he was already on his feet throwing a help-me look at Andy, who just laughed and encouraged Castiel.

Dean and Sam watched Castiel being caught by a see of women and decided to take a breather and slid into the booth across from Andy.

'So Sam, you ready?'

'Why does everyone keep asking me that? Yes for Christ's sake, I am.'

'Ready to leave all this behind?' Andy said nodding at the half-naked girls who were devouring Castiel and Chris, 'you have to be nuts.'

'Nuts about love,' Sam said.

'Excuse me while I gag a little,' Dean said pretending to barf next to the table.

'You any regrets Andy?' Sam asked.

'Oh god no! I knew the minute she flew over and she was in front of my door. We got along fine online and I was a bit apprehensive about our first meeting but God,' Andy said exhaling, reminiscing when he saw Christina on his front step, 'I just knew we were going to get along just fine and it was like we had known each other for ages. You know that feeling? When you just know no one can top that?' He said to Sam.

'Yeah, I do, I absolutely do. I mean Julie, she's a looker, I know that but what goes on inside that head of hers! She always thinks about others first and she is such a good person. She puts up with my crazy family, with hunting. I mean she's the best thing that could have ever happened to me.' He said, love saturating his voice.

Dean just looked down at his beer and didn't know what to say. He had that feeling, he lost that feeling. All of a sudden he missed Lena even more than he had for the past months, the only thing he wanted to do was call her and talk to her for hours, but he blamed the feeling on the intake of alcohol, he took a swig of his beer as he felt Sam's and Andy's eyes scrutinizing his actions.

'What?' he yelled.

'Nothing man, I'm sorry I should never have brought it up, I know how you feel,' Andy said apologizing.

'Yeah, some how I don't think you know how I feel,' he said with a harsh voice, 'picture yourself loosing Christina because of what you do? Yeah I don't think you know how I feel.'

'Dean, that's not fair, you can't blame Andy for your idiocy.' Sam said intervening.

Dean just went silent figuring his brother was right, he shouldn't have brought the girls with them on that hunt and if he hadn't he figured he's still be happy and in love.

'Tell me, you really love her?' Sam suddenly asked not sure what the answer was.

'More than anything,' he replied silently staring at the brown bottle in front of him.

The conversation had turned for the worse but before anyone else could say anything they were interrupted by a whip hitting their table top.

'You boys getting lazy on me now?' the dominatrix a.k.a Heather said menacingly.

She convinced the threesome to get up, though wobbly on their feet, and come and join the party again as they were playing Little L by Jamiroquai, though it wasn't exactly Dean's genre, he was starting to like the guy or was it because it reminded him of someone else.

**********

Thursday morning everyone, including the girls who had passed out on the couches after having one hell of a slumber party, woke up with a major hangover and all were very happy that the wedding wasn't taking place today.

'What are you doing?' Julie asked as she looked over at the table with only one eye, and saw Lena darting in and out of the kitchen.

Lena shushed Julie as she was talking into her phone.

'Okay thanks, great. I'll see you tomorrow.' She hung up the phone.

'I'm making breakfast my dear, what does it look like?' Lena answered her friend with a radiant smile.

'So you're past the damn-I-wish-I-laid-off-the-martini-sooner part of the day?'

'Yeah, I took two aspirins and if all you ladies came to the table I laid them out for you as well.'

The three women smiled and took their seats while Lena served the eggs, three different ways, just as everyone liked them, overeasy, scrambled with bacon and sunny side up.

'So who was on the phone?' Julie asked with a mouth full off bagel and egg.

'You've been hanging around the boys too much hunny,' Lena said as she watched Julie eat and talk, 'actually I was talking to the florist, he's confirmed, hair and make-up are expecting us by noon, the ice-sculpture will be there at 4, we have your final dress fitting this evening at five, which is actually in about,' Lena looked at her watch and added, 'three and half hours.'

'You did all that?' Julie said so thankful that she didn't have to do anything anymore.

'I really needed to make up for being a crappy maid of honour so from now one don't you worry about a thing anymore, I'll take care of everything and you can just relax and be pampered. That reminds me, two masseurs will be here at 6, so I figured we could microwave the left-overs from yesterday and eat them in front of the telly, you know Thursday night, CW night?'

All of the women looked in awe at Lena, they were all so happy that they no longer needed to organize anything anymore. Though Chris and Katie did believe it was about time that Lena stepped up to the plate.

The ladies finished their breakfast in peace and by some sort of miracle they all showed up on time and half-decent in the bridal shop, huge sunglasses hiding their fun from the shopkeepers of course. The assistant didn't look all that happy when these four ladies entered in ragged jeans and white T's, she was probably used to skirts and long-legged blonds, well tough shit because these four women were perfectly able to kick her ass, verbally as well as physically. So she reluctantly decided to help them anyway.

'Can I help you ladies?' her tone drenched with despise, only adding to Christina's hangover.

'Dress fitting Winchester wedding?' Lena said stepping in front of Chris who was about to shake the white flesh of this woman's bones.

'Right, follow me please,' she said as she understood the four meant business.

She led the foursome in one of the private dressing areas which had a podium, two luxurious seats that seemed to have belonged to a French fanny one point in time and two separate cubicles for changing.

As the woman, whose nametag said Rachel but introduced herself as Rachelle, came back with 4 dresses Lena sighed in relief.

'Oh thank God,' she said.

'No thank Katie for that,' Julie said.

Lena was so relieved to find out the bridesmaid dresses were a deep chocolate brown and not some pastel coloured thing with puffy sleeves, not that Julie had bad taste on the contrary, she was just not that familiar with dresses, let alone bridesmaid dresses.

They started off with Julie's and as she came from behind one of the cubicles their breath was caught in their throats, though Chris and Katie had already seen the dress on various occasions, the alterations made, definitely had an impact.

'You look so gorgeous, Julz, Sam is going to faint!' Lena said in total awe of her friend, and for no particular reason she suddenly envied the woman in that beautiful ecru satin dress, which felt light and breezy, which was strapless and showed off her neckline.

Even the shopkeeper had to agree that Julie was going to make a stunning bride and without dragging her feet this time she came up with the veil, swiftly tucked it behind Julie's bun and it came down only a foot from where the dress had ended on her back, below the shoulder blades. It was finished with a small satin strip on the bottom.

As Julie looked at herself in the mirror she had to agree with her friends, though the woman standing in front of the mirror wasn't exactly her, she was definitely pretty and she could live with the compromise, at one point in time she had considered walking down the aisle in blue jeans but had given way for Sam's judgement, he liked seeing her in dresses or skirts but as she hardly ever wore one she decided she could give him this favour, an ecru, traditional, simple dress.

As Julie twirled some more and flirted with her reflection her phone went off indicating a text message.

*

Sam looked around the room with the three men and was pleased on how his party had worked out, Dean was a genius, he had to admit. They were barely awake but just enough to turn ESPN on and eat the left over cold pizza from the day before, and they were going to stay in this vegetable state of mind probably for the next 16 hours or so. Luckily they had all showered and dressed so the stench of cigarette smoke, beer and throw up had been evacuating the living room.

'Where's your new friend Andy?'

'He poofed when he lost the game,' he said dryly.

'What game?'

Andy was caught as he subtly pushed the box away from Dean's sight.

'A drinking game of course!' he huffed.

'Yeah right, Cas lost to you? That's not really possible now is it, what game?' Dean asked with the widest grin on his face.

'Monopoly okay, I kicked the little Angel's ass!'

Sam watched the bickering and was amused but his mind was focused on the PDA in his palm, he hoped Dean wouldn't find out because he would be in a shitload of trouble.

*

'Hand me my phone please,' Julie said reaching out her hand as she was truly becoming a bride and she had three minions to her disposal.

'Yes, me lady,' Lena said as she grabbed into Julie's purse.

'Oh no, you don't, it's from Sam! You're not getting your phone, no contact means no contact!'

Julie disagreed and nearly had a meeting with the pink carpeted floor as she had hauled herself off the podium to her phone, luckily Chris and Katie had seen it coming and had prevented a nasty carpetburn and a torn or dirty dress. They were true heroes

'C'mon, what he say?' she whined restrained by her friends.

'You know what he says; _I miss you and I love you _blablabla...' Lena said in her Sam voice, which was a bit girly.

Instead of shutting the phone off, she decided to redial and tell him what she was thinking.

*

'Sam what are you doing?' Dean said as he suddenly stopped ridiculing Andy when he saw a suspicious move in the corner of his left eye.

'Nothing,' Sam said innocently stretching and placing the phone back on the table, pretending like he was just bored.

'Uhu, one more violation and I'm tying you up man, abstinence is abstinence!'

The phone suddenly blared and before Sam could reach it Dean was already holding it, even hungover Dean was quick on his feet. Well quicker than Sam hungover anyway.

'Oh what do you know, isn't that Julie's ringtone?' Dean said sarcastically listening to the phone, 'Yeah I think it is,' Dean started to sing along with the phone's tune in a girly voice, '_I had the time of my liiiiife and I owe it all to you._'

'Just gimme my phone, asshole,'

'Yeah fat chance Baby!' Dean said flipping open the phone not expecting what was held for him on the other side.

*

'Sam, you have to stop, this is bachelorette's zone, you can't be apart for two days, you shouldn't be getting married because that's obsession not love. Now do us girls a favour and try not to destroy the wedding dress again,' Lena ranted on the phone, when there was no answer her heart swelled as if she had gone too far, it was all a joke right, Sam knew that... right?

'Sam?' she asked tentatively.

*

Dean stopped breathing, normally when Lena was ranting like that he would have held the phone away from his ear because it hurt his ears but now he couldn't get enough of the stupid comments she made on the other line, he wished for her to keep on ranting, just for the heck of it. And as all the heads had turned towards Dean's direction none of them guessed what was going on, why was Dean grinning so widely and had that dark cloud above his head turned a bit lighter talking to his sister-in-law?

He finally breathed the question; 'Lena?' and if the room hadn't been quiet before it was now still frozen. Though they had all known that Dean and Lena would inevitably see each other, they hadn't expected the reunion to be this way and this soon. They hadn't even known if Lena was going to make it to the bachelor's party, they guessed she had.

*

'Dean?' she replied softly finding the strength somewhere. She too had been mentally preparing herself for the reunion Friday, Friday in the evening no less, not Thursday, Thursday was meant to be peaceful and apart from throwing fits around florists and ice sculptures and not confirmed guests who might or might not appear, it had to be relaxing, but this sent her heart-rate up skyhigh and her stress level went from I'm-calm-and-in-my-happy-place to shit-so-this-is-what-a-heart-attack-felt-like high.

'It's good to hear you too,' she said answering the phone as Dean must have said something, 'just tell your boy to back off and let us have our last day with our bachelorette, we promise to give her back tomorrow.' She said quickly wanting to hang up the phone as soon as possible.

'_I couldn't agree more,'_ she heard Dean say on the other side; _'then again, we always saw eye to eye.'_

'Yeah that couldn't be further from the truth, we hardly agreed on anything,' she said feeling a bit light-headed.

*

Dean listened to that voice that he had been craving for six months and now it sounded more heavenly than it had in his mind.

When he heard her voice say; _'I'm going to hang up now, I'll see you tomorrow,'_ he wanted to scream no, but he was smarter than that and not really that desperate, he wanted to answer but before he could, he heard that the connection had already been broken. Ironically he didn't feel that the connection between them had been broken, ever, talking to her on the phone made everything disappear, like the last six months hadn't taken place. He cursed his insecure self for having a date at the wedding, he wished he hadn't but he was not going the cancel, besides Lena might have just done the same.

Though both sides desperately wanted to know what had just happened and if both were going to crumple they knew better than to ask. Neither Dean or Lena would tell them how their hearts had beaten ten times as hard and why deodorant suddenly had no effect. They just resumed their activities and would bring the subject up again tonight if enough alcohol had been spilled.

*

Lena, Chris and Katie ducked into the cubicles one by one and by some sort of miracle the measurements Lena had given Katie a couple of months ago hadn't changed, though she might have lost some weight and toned up a little the dress still fitted. As Lena looked at herself in the mirror she really started to like the deep chocolate brown dress, there was no fluff or unnecessary detailing except for a white sating band that went around above the bust and then again below the bust. She closed her eyes for a minute and images of Dean flashed in her head, how he had torn up one of her A-line dresses after they had attended her high school reunion. She smiled as she leaned back against the mirror and heard him whisper her name over and over.

'_Get a grip for crying out loud, it has been six months, you should have gotten over him by now,'_ she cursed.

She opened her eyes and approved of the dress as she turned around she was ready to go out until she saw the blue, brown print peeping above the dress and below her shoulder and another yellowing print on her elbow.

'Lena come out, we want to see!' Chris yelled.

'The size all right?' Katie asked, scared that she had messed up the order.

'Size is fine,' she said before appearing with a fake smile trying to keep the attention on the front and not the back, which was probably inevitable.

'Oh my God, it's beautiful,' Julie chirped.

'Thank you,' Katie replied relieved with the bride's approval, she jumped up to see if everything was all right with the dress, no loose hems, the length, the width, she circled Lena like a vulture looking for its prey, while Lena held her breath afraid of being caught.

'Hey what's this?' Katie suddenly asked poking in Lena's back.

'Ouch! For crying out loud,'

'How'd you get that?' Chris said inspecting Lena's back.

'I fell down, how surprisingly is that? Now let it go.' Lena said turning around and heading for the cubicle, she heard all three of them giggling and laughing at her clumsiness.

'Seriously, Lena, when are you gonna learn to walk?' Chris yelled.

'Yeah, what was it this time, let me guess your own feet!' Katie said followed by a lot of laughter.

'Haha, you guys are just too fucking hilarious!' Lena said silently from behind the screen.

'Come on you guys, she's right, it's not her fault that she can't walk.'

'Okay that's it, I'm getting out of this dress and you can all just freakin' bite me!' Lena said as she unzipped it and nearly fell down putting on her jeans, the sound of her falling back against, what sounded like a cardboard wall made the laughter only increase.

'Oh please, spare us the theatrics and don't take it out on the dress, it has nothing to do with you being a clutz.' Katie said rolling her eyes as Lena appeared from behind the screens.

The laughter tied down and the ladies went back to business, all three dresses had the same beautiful colour but the white detailing was different for each of them. Chris' had a white cross on the chest, making four quadrants and separating her boobs from each other. It looked stunning, but that goes without saying. Katie's was just as beautiful, the white satin string appeared to come from behind, coming to the front and before both ends would meet they went down and stopped on the waist.

After the dress fitting the day went along slow and relaxed just as they had foreseen, except maybe for Lena, as she was talking into her earpiece at least until the two hunky masseurs arrived at Chris' suddenly she no longer needed to call people. They all enjoyed the massage and their micro-waved dinner.

Julie looked around her and saw all four of them sitting in the couch watching the telly with one eye and chattering. It was like an outer-body experience as she realized she was so unbelievably happy, almost four years ago she wouldn't have thought she would ever smile again but seeing her in the here and now. She felt guilty for having a good time while she no longer had her mom, how in hell's name could she be happy when someone you loved had died? The first time she had felt guilty for being happy she immediately became sad again but now after all these years she had learned to place her grief and could honestly enjoy this moment. This moment with her friends, and like they knew what Julie was thinking, the atmosphere became quiet and Katie laid her head on Chris' shoulder and Lena put her feet up on Julie's legs as she laid her head in Katie's lap. And as they were all connected, Julie was happy and peaceful and she sighed.

**********

It was the fifth of September, and it had been a beautiful day, luckily no glitches Lena couldn't handle.

'Julie, it's time,' Lena said in the bridal part of the house, and as Julie looked outside she could see parts of the scenery and the sun that was slowly turning orange this time of day.

'Just gimme a sec,' Julie said and Lena nodded at Chris and Katie who closed the door behind them.

'You look beautiful hunny,' Lena said softly, rubbing Julie's arms while they stared into the mirror.

'Thanks,' she sighed, 'I'm ready,'

As Lena turned for the door and both women joined the line as the music was starting to play.

Lena needed all her strength and her will to keep her eyes from peering at Dean's, she felt his stare on her and all she wanted to do was return it but her mind didn't let her heart get away with her again, not this time she vowed, so she focused on the guests seated on the beautiful lawn and the lake behind the arch, she nodded and returned smiles at the people she knew, and she promised herself to have a chat with Bobby, she had missed the old man and looking into his eyes he knew he had missed her too. She let herself look at one of the Winchester boys and she thought:_ 'damn when did Sammy get so hot and manly' _she shook her head to try and loose those unholy thoughts.

She made it down the aisle without glancing at Dean and felt pretty damn proud of herself, except then that she felt he was so close now that she could almost touch his essence but she was just going to ignore that and watch the bride, her best friend make her big entrance and walk down that line.

Julie looked at the people who had showed and saw admiration in all of their faces, she had never had this effect on a crowd before, so it was a nice change. She saw the eyes of her students and she couldn't help but give a little wave. She saw distant relatives and was glad they came, she saw old high school friends, and then she saw her brother tearing up, _what the hell _she thought, and his wife and her little Felix, all dressed up in a mini-tuxedo. On the other side she saw Ellen and Jo both radiant and happy for Sam, she saw Bobby and tons of people she didn't know. Many of Sam's innocents had shown up to congratulate the happy couple, Becky was there with her brother and even Ed and Harry were there, but that was to be expected since Sam had asked them to be the camera crew. As she passed all those faces she knew this was the world she wanted to live in and she saw Sam, he was the man for her, he was her everything and as she looked at him catching his breath her smile only widened. It wasn't until she was upfront that she realized who was going to perform the ceremony. She was ecstatic, you couldn't get closer to the real thing than an actual angel performing the wedding.

Sam couldn't stop himself and kissed her when she reached him.

'Stop,' Castiel said, 'this is not in the script you gave me,'

The crows laughed and Sam just smiled and let him take lead.

The ceremony was beautiful and not too long, there were no random picked bible pages and no mealy words, it was just about them and the love they shared, Julie didn't really listen until it was time to say those two little words that would change nothing and everything.

'Do you Julie Boss take Sam Winchester as your husband, in front of all these people, do you vow to love and to hold him in sickness and in health, for richer for poorer till death do you part?' Castiel said in a deep voice.

'Even beyond that I do,' Julie said blinking away a tear that had crept up on her.

'Do you Sam Winchester...'

'I do,' Sam interrupted.

'You didn't let me finish,' Cas said quietly ensuing giggles from the attendees.

'It's okay, I know what's coming,' he replied winking at the angel. And Castiel agreed.

'Who has the rings?'

'I do, I do, I do,' little Felix said jumping up as he brought forth the pillow where two silver bands were resting, one big and one small.

'Thank you hunny,' Julie said as she picked one off and put it on Sam's finger, Sam followed suit and took the small one of the chocolate brown pillow.

'You may now kiss the bride,' Castiel exclaimed and as he saw Sam enveloping Julie he smiled and felt that warm feeling again, he was honoured that he was chosen to be part of a moment that was so personal and so private.

Clapping and cheering the crowd moved from the open space closer to the dining room in the house.

**********

The families and friends ate their dinner as they saw the sun drown into the lake and left what was to become a beautiful night. Julie and Sam sat at the bridal table together with the three bridesmaids, the tree groomsmen, Castiel and Dean's date. Lena had concentrated on Castiel for most of the dinner but sometimes her eyes wandered and caught Dean, who was openly flirting with his date, Sherri. The room was beautifully dressed with the chocolate tints appearing everywhere but subtly. Lena's surprise ice sculpture was dreadful and tacky but just perfect as it was a magnified Winchester rifle standing amidst the buffet, it turned out to be a real topic of conversation.

Music and laughter filled the dining room until Dean stood up and tapped his glass a couple of times.

'Ladies and gentlemen, as you know I am the best man, and as you probably know I'm also the brother, yes I know you think it is not possible that Sam has such a handsome brother but it's true nonetheless. I wanted to say that I have known Sammy all my life, we had our ups and downs and I love him more than I do my right hand.' The room laughed at Dean making an idiot out of himself, but Sam was just grateful the mockery was pointed at Dean instead of himself. 'All joking aside,' he aid turning to look his brother in the eyes: 'Sammy I am so happy that you found the love of your life and Julie is by all definitions the perfect girl for you, and a fine addition to the family. Sammy I have always and always will be proud to be your brother.'

Sam stood up and hugged his brother, his best friend, he was honestly moved by the words Dean had spoken and though they might not have been Shakespearian words, they sounded like it to Sam.

Lena knew it was her time to speak and stood up as well.

'I am not be gifted with words as the best man is but I'll try to be as eloquent. Julie, I have not known you for a great stretch of time but that doesn't really matter, the moment we met it was like we had known each other for years, suddenly I found a best friend in the oddest of places. What I have been allowed to witness between you and Sam took my breath away on many occasions, it's hard to believe in love when you have known so much pain and it's easier to shy away from it. But you didn't, you two have something so precious and I just know that whatever may happen in the future can never change that. Julie thank you for letting me be a part of something so undeniable. To Sam and Julie.'

'To Sam and Julie,' the room responded lifting their glasses.

Dean suddenly couldn't peel his eyes from her and realized they needed to talk eventually.

As Sam and Julie took their place on the dance floor to have their first dance as a married couple Armstrong came out of the jukebox and the music floated through the room as every head was turned to the couple, except for one.

_Hold me close and hold me fast  
The magic spell you cast  
This is la vie en rose  
_

After thirty seconds other couples filled the dance floor, starting with the bridal party. Christina and Andy were happy to take a place, just as Katie and Chris did, all four were reminded of their own weddings and for some reason it felt like they had renewed their vows.

_  
When you kiss me heaven sighs  
And tho I close my eyes  
I see la vie en rose_

Lena almost wanted to ask Cas as she didn't want to sit alone at the table but Dean appeared behind her.

'Can I have this dance,' he said with a real pleading in his eyes, shocking not only Lena but Sherri too.

'Sure,' she said feeling her heart rate go up like she was on a treadmill, she took Dean's hand, and a real gentleman he was, his other hand went under her elbow to help her up. She hadn't seen it coming and winced as he reached the bruise. She had asked one of the girls to cover up the one on her back but she hadn't bothered to do the elbow. She wasn't quick enough to hide her reaction and saw in his eyes that he had seen it.

'So what did you do?' he asked as he escorted her to the dance floor.

'Walk in with the door, it's nothing.'

Dean didn't trust her answer but let it go anyway because when he gripped her waist and her hand went to his shoulder he couldn't think straight anymore he only wanted to be closer to the one thing he couldn't have.

'So you went back to Europe?' he asked sincere.

'The girls tell you that?'

'I read your book,' he confessed.

'You did? You never read my books? No one does.'

'Yeah that's not exactly true, I've read all of them, you know how much time I spend with Sam in the car. There's just a lot of time to read.' He looked up into her eyes and she stared back both unable to speak.

'Hmm,' she nodded, 'so you liked it?'

'Yeah I really did, for some reason I could really relate to the character,'

Lena squinted her eyes and tilted her head scrutinizing his statement: 'it's about a heart-broken woman going back home to find her roots again.' She said with a little smile.

'Well yeah, but...' he started to search his brain to explain how he felt but ended with: 'nope I got nothing,'

They came closer and danced in silent, when the tension became to grave to handle Lena interrupted.

'So Sherri huh?'

'Yeah,' Dean smirked at an inside joke

'What?'

'She's got tits an ass and no facial hair.' He smirked.

Lena laughed out loud, all the tension leaving her body and suddenly she felt like the both of them were back where they had been so many months ago, Dean put his hand on the small of her back and pulled her a little closer and she couldn't be sure but she could have sworn that Dean was smelling her hair and squeezing her hand a little as if he had wanted to hear her laugh for so long. She agreed and let her body ease into his, it felt so natural. Sherri tapped Lena on the shoulder and she politely gave what was not hers back to the blond before Dean had a chance to protest.

_Give your heart and soul to me_

_And life will always be_

_La vie en rose_

Lena decided that she wasn't ready for her to see Dean dating and flirting with others, how could she? She was never going to be ready for that, she found her purse and walked out of the room, not looking back until she was outside, where she could breathe again. It wasn't too cold or too warm, it was just perfect as she breathed in and out she was again the outsider looking through the glass house full of laughter. She glanced once at the happy couple and decided she was no longer needed here. She wasn't planning on coming back soon, maybe in a year or two, but this was just too hard and no one, but no one could force her to stay and witness Dean fall in love with another, no one.

She smiled as she saw Sam dip his head and kiss the woman in his arms. She knew it was time to go.

**********

Lena didn't know why but she got into her rental car and drove down the road she had taken so many times, she slowed down as she came to the house that was once hers too. She decided to park up the street not to alert the neighbours as they would notice a strange blue volkswagon in the driveway.

She made her way to the house, not stopping to breathe or reconcider, she took the sparekey from the ledge above the right window. She smiled that Dean was so predictable. As she put the key into the lock she froze.

'_What the hell was she doing here? Looking for more pain?' _she asked herself.

'_No, I have a purpose! I forgot my scarf and winter was just around the corner, I need my favourite scarf!'_ she told herself resiliant and walked through the door.

The smell permeating her nose was a stench she knew too well, a bachelor lived here, she didn't know wether to be relieved or grosed out. She flipped on the light on the table behind the couch and surprisingly found the way to that light without falling and without problems. As the light illuminated the room she couldn't breathe, the pictures of herself that she had removed and put into the box in the basement, where neither of them ever came, were back where they belonged. She smiled as she touched a frame of one where she and Dean had been fooling around and he had taken the picture with his arm stretched in front of them. They looked so blisfully happy but Lena now looked at it as if she was looking at two strangers.

She looked around still holding the frame in her hands, she noticed most of the things that she had found too girly for Dean's taste were back, some candlesticks, some tealights and even the collage she had made out of her New York pictures was back.

'It was such a shame to find them in the cellar,' Dean said leaning against the doorpost.

Lena was startled as she had been fretting in her own mind, she dropped the frame she was holding, the glass splitting over the floor, the wood breaking.

'Crap,' she said: 'you scared me, what are you doing here?' she got to her knees cleaning up and gathering the glass.

'What am I doing here? I live here, what are you doing here?' Dean replied.

_Ouch he's right though._

'Ouch,' Lena said out loud as she cut her finger, making Dean roll his eyes and get to his knees near the glass too, he took her finger and put it in his mouth, seeling up the wound. Lena jerked back and got on to her feet.

'I forgot my favourite scarf, I need it for the fall.' She hastily said going over to the coatrack, which was pretty empty, except for Dean's leather and his black peticoat.

'You wont find it,' he said, 'you didn't forget, I stole.'

'What d'you mean?'

'I... uhm,' he hummed, 'I kind of took it before I left,' he paused, 'that day.'

She wanted to ask why and drag it out of him but it was pretty clear why, in the dim light she could see in his eyes that he was feeling the same way, hell the fact that he left Sherri behind at a wedding where she knew no one pretty much speaks for itself. She heard his footsteps on the crackling glass and saw him approach with a yearning in his eyes. When he reached her, his hands went up cradling her face while his lips found hers eagerly. She responded briefly but broke the kiss and her head fell down on his chest, smelling the cologne, she took in as much as she could before she whispered: 'I can't do this again,' she ran out of the door.

* * *

**Okay that was it, the end. As you see there's room and I have ideas for a sequel... Should I? Or am I poluting the internet waves with my dribble? Let me now. **


	13. Chapter 13

Just wanted to tell everyone who was following this story, a sequel has been made and is up for you to enjoy now.

Preview

'_Oh my God, keep that on the wound and apply pressure, blood is just gushing out.' She almost yelled as she picked up the phone and paged the plastic surgeon, who would be pissed that he would be called in for something other than a boob job but she didn't care, her patient would get the best care that she could give._

_And so it happened, six weeks ago she had given the best care to her patient and since then her patient had been taking care of her._

_He had fessed up to his real name and if she had been ten years old her diary would have been plastered with Mrs Dean Winchester and hearts but now her heart just kept skipping beats._

'_Where did you go?' Dean asked._

'_Nowhere,' Angela smiled trying to get back from the night she fell hard for this man._


End file.
